Seasons (Ari AU)

Chapter 23

  The next several hours are spent sitting in the worn and uncomfortable chairs of the waiting room, the same waiting room that has been overrun by firefighters, EMTs, and police officers alike. Everyone waiting on pins and needles for information concerning Ari and whatever state he is found to be in. 

  Shauna managed to calm down enough that no one was asking if she needed a sedative any longer. I had excused myself about an hour after showing up, taking myself up to L & D in order to offer myself to cover Shauna's double. One look at me and Joy shook her head. "That's really kind of you, Holland, but even if it wasn't Shauna that needed you right now, I can tell you're not in the right mind set to be working right now. I've got it covered. Go, make sure he's alright."

  My head bobs up and down, silently as I slowly walk away. I want to argue with her, tell her that nothing gets in the way of my job, even my closest friend's brother. But I can't. This isn't just a friend's brother, this is Ari.  This is my Levy. This is my baby girl's Uncle Ari. This is the man that rarely went a day without calling me beautiful, but now hasn't said it in weeks. 

  There's a strange feeling of walls closing in on me as my chest tightens. I step off to the side, my hand reaching out to hold myself up against the wall. "Holland?" Joy's hand is resting on my shoulder, but her voice seems miles away. I look up to her for a flash of a moment, blinking my eyes to try and keep the darkness that begins to cloud my vision at bay.

  "Somebody get me a wheelchair!" are the last words I hear before I'm waking up in a hospital bed myself.

  "I'm fine," I tell Joy, halting her from sticking in an IV to begin fluids. "I'm not dehydrated. I'm just exhausted and worried. I'm fine."

  "You passed out," she reminds me. "We should probably monitor the baby."

  "The baby is fine. I need to get back to Shauna. I need to be there for her." Joy looks back at me, her face telling me without words that she is ready to challenge me on this. "Am I in the system yet?"  With a roll of her eyes and a sigh, she shakes her head no. "Great. Then I'm not leaving against any doctor's orders. I appreciate you catching me, but I have to go back to Ari." I don't miss the small quirk of her brow or the tiny purse of her lips. "Back to Shauna," I correct myself, grabbing my purse from the bedside table and walking back out of the door on shaky legs. 

  When I reach the waiting room, it's no longer as crowded as it was earlier. Shauna sits next to Dean who'd finally been able to come in when his own shift finished at midnight. 

  "Where have you been?" she asks me, her eyes wild with worry. 

  "I tried to fill in for your shift," I admit. "I knew if I mentioned it to you then you'd tell me they can take care of it themselves, but I had to offer."

  "Joy sent you back?"

  "Something like that," I nod my own confirmation. "Any news?" 

  "Somebody came out and said they're almost finished running all of the tests. Said someone should be out in a bit."

  I give another long glance around the room before I find myself asking a question that I should've asked earlier. It should've been one of the first things out of my mouth. "Did you call Felicity?"

  The way Shauna cuts her eyes over to me, I  know my answer. "You've got to be kidding me. Shauna, that's your brother's girlfriend and son. They deserve to know!"  

  She reaches into her scrub pocket with a shaky hand. "Then you call them," she says bluntly, dropping Ari's cell phone into my lap. 

  I look over to Dean for back up, but he's become acutely aware to not push his girlfriend when she's being like this. He's actually holding his hands up and slowly waving them in a 'not going there' fashion.  "You need to knock this crap off, Shauna. If your brother has forgiven her for something that happened five years ago, you should too." 

  With the phone in my hand, I slip out into the ambulance bay. When his phone lights up I see a photo on his lock screen of Ari's little family, smiling widely in front of a waterfall.  My lips pull into a small smile, seeing him get the life that I'd hoped for just months earlier. I enjoy the small moment look into his life until I realize his phone is password protected. Using my own phone I call Shauna and quickly ask what is her brother's password.

  "Ten thirteen," she answers before hanging up, apparently still agitated by my generosity to tell Ari's girlfriend that he's in the hospital.

  My finger lingers over the one as I say the numbers out loud. "Ten thirteen," I repeat, my fingers touching each number when I realize why they sound so familiar. "My birthday?"  I'm even further surprised as the screen changes to his home screen, revealing a photo from mine and Jeremy's wedding. I'm sandwiched between Ari and Jeremy, their arms around my waist as they each hold a beer out to the side as I'm laughing. 

  It's nothing, I tell myself. It's a photo of his best friend that died. That's all it is.  

  I click on his contacts, going straight to his favorites. I see he still has Jeremy listed, as well as his sister. I'm honestly surprised that I'm still on the list, but not Felicity. No, I find her listed as Lissy in his full contact list. 

  I wait patiently as it rings, knowing that I'm about to wake her up as the clock is pushing near two in the morning now. 

  "Ari? Babe, what's wrong?" her voice comes across groggy. "You never call in the middle of the night during a shift."

  "Felicity?" I ask, my voice breaking already.

  "Who is this and why do you have my boyfriend's phone?"

  "Felicity, it's Holland. Ari was in an accident and he's been brought in to the hospital."

  I hear some rustling in the background. "What do you mean? What's happened, Holland?"

  "We don't have many details yet. You're welcome to come and wait with Shauna," I invite even though my friend will give me an earful later. 

  "I can't," she whimpers into the phone, "I have Mason. I don't want to scare him with seeing his dad like that. Shauna's going to hate me for not coming up, but I can't Holland, I just can't put him through that."

  "No, no, it's fine. I completely understand." I look down at my stomach, my hand rubbing gently across the material of my scrubs. "A child shouldn't see their father in such a way," my voice begins wavering again. "I'll keep you up to date, alright?"

  "Thank you, Holland. Ari has always thought the world of you, always said you are one in a million," she tells me before hanging up. 

  I stare down at his phone, focusing on the background of my wedding day, feeling an ache in my chest. "Holland!" I turn towards the sound, seeing Dean wave me in.  Following behind him I see Shauna standing next to the doctor, waiting impatiently. 

  "Well?"

  "We were waiting on you," she tells me. "We can go now." 

The doctor ushers us through the emergency room doors and over to an elevator, pressing the fourth floor. My stomach drops knowing that is where our ICU is located.  Shauna clutches Dean's hand, leaving my own to fiddle with one another. 

 With as many things as I've seen during my time of nursing, from the tiniest of babies all the way to the elderly, nothing prepares you for seeing someone close to you laying in a hospital bed, connected to wires and tubes.  

  Shauna goes in first with Dean as I hang just outside of the sliding door, close enough to hear the doctor but far enough away to give them their family space. I hear bits and pieces, mostly due to my own heart thudding in my ears when Dean shifts and I can see Ari's body laying unconscious on the bed.