Fight to the finish..

37

*Time skip a few days*

Telling everyone about me and Leah breaking up wasn't easy, everyone was taking it just as hard as we were by the sound of things. Even Katie teared up a tad when we told her. But the atmosphere has been a lot more positive and me and Leah are actually able to have a conversation without wishing death on the other which I love.

It's currently 12pm and I'm nervously waiting for the England Squad to be released in two hours. I hope me and Leah are both selected. I wouldn't want to be led out by anyone else than our skipper, my second favourite captain behind Captain Jack Sparrow.

A few of the English Arsenal girls are coming to our house this afternoon to watch the lineup announcement on Sky Sports. Sarina usually calls us before so we already know but this year she has created individual automatic messages to be sent at 2pm exactly with her reasonings why we have/ why we haven't been selected but I'm really hoping to get in.

The time we had to wait flew by and before we knew it, everyone was here and it was 13.55 and the nerves started kicking in.

B: Girls whatever happens we're all in this together and I want to say good luck to everyone.

We had all agreed to turn our phones off and watch the selection on the TV so ignoring Sarina's message for a moment or so. This way we can all find out at exactly the same time.

And that's when I saw it, the banner at the bottom of the television screen reading the time out.

England 23 woman squad:

Mary Earps
Hannah Hampton
Ellie Roebuck

Millie Bright
Esme Morgan
Leah Williamson
Jess Carter
Niamh Charles
Lotte Wubben Moy
Lucy Bronze

Laura Coombs
Keira Walsh
Georgia Stanway
Ella Toone
Katie Zelem
Jordan Nobbs

Rachel Daly
Lauren Hemp
Beth Mead
Bella Thorpe
Alessia Russo
Lauren James

(Not the exact squad for the WC but had to make some changes because I'm in denial that Leah is actually injured)

Seeing my name on the attackers list made my heart skip a beat, but also Beth's and Lotte's and of course Leah is up there too. We all congratulated each other and turned our phones on to reply to Sarina. We are all over the moon and our international Arsenal girls were happy for us too.

Lotte: I can't believe the 4 amigos are all off together. We all did it.

Beth: I'm so proud of all of us, England and not England. Game on Dutchy

She turned to Viv with a smug look on her face, they're so in love and it hurts me to watch them knowing that's what I wish me and Leah could be like. But life is life I guess and if it's meant to be we'll find our way back.

Bella: I'm proud of all of us. We're gonna bring this one home.

The celebrations were underway and everyone was enjoying themselves except me and Leah of course who were both sat with faces like slapped arses. It seems like it's not only me that's noticed too because Beth has beelined for Leah and they're both walking away.

I find Viv to try and find out what Beth is speaking to her about but Viv has as much of an idea about it as I do. So that was a dead end.

Leah POV

Sitting here on such a happy day but feeling anything but happy hurts. I'm so proud of Bella for getting into the squad in her first season in the WSL but she definitely deserves it. I just wish I could give her a hug and tell her how proud I am, but I can't because it would be less painful to tear my own heart out of my chest I think.

I find myself in a trance just staring at her, but she's doing the exact same as me, moping around with a sad look about her. This is effecting us both too much.

Beth: Leah with me, now

Well that's the end of that trance because I know have a tipsy Beth that wants a heart to heart as usual when she's drunk.

B: What are you doing Le? You just found our you're coming to the World Cup and you look like you're depressed. Is this about Bels?

L: I can't get her out of my head and by the look on her face she's having the same problem. We need to both just move on Beth. We don't work and we have both said that now. It's time to put it behind us and be friends.

B: If you say so but I give you both a month maximum because you run back. You're like magnets Leah, just because you aren't working right now it doesn't mean it never will. You love her don't you?

L: Of course I do, but love isn't enough in this situation. I'm gonna speak to her and tell her she needs to move on because I don't want us both being depressed when we're at camp next month.

And with that Beth walked away but I do know that it's gonna hurt so badly to see Bella with someone else. I won't be jealous, well I definitely will be, we never even slept together and it all went wrong. She can't just go sleeping with other people.

Ugh Leah get yourself together and stop this.

Time to speak to Bella.