Fight to the finish..

26

It's been 24 hours since I got to the hospital and still we have no answers about Leah's condition. Jonas has given myself, Beth and Viv leave from training for the time being until we know what's going on. He is worried himself. He loves Leah. We all do. I just wish she knew how much I love her and I would've told her yesterday if she'd of just been at home being annoying like she usually is.

I just got myself a coffee to keep me awake. I refuse to not be awake or be here when they have news on Leah's condition. Sitting down knowing that the doctor could walk in any second and the door went. It was Amanda.

A: Hi Bella, I'm going to shoot home to grab some stuff and have a shower. Would you like to sit with Leah for me?

I didn't want to. I couldn't face seeing her. But I knew it was the right thing to do. And you never know maybe sitting there and speaking to her when she can't reply might do me good.

B: Yes I would love to

And with that Amanda gave me a hug and left the hospital and for me, it was time to make my way to Leah's room.

The sight of her made my heart drop. If I could swap positions with her right now I would in a heartbeat. I just want her to wake up. I sat with her for an hour, in silence. But shortly after the silence was broken by the doctor bursting through the doorway.

Doctor: Hi Bella isn't it?

He looked very happy today, it was making me angry. How can he be happy when Leah is like this? I nodded at his question and he continued to speak.

Doctor: We have finished conducting our tests and we have all of the results back.
B: Right and is she okay?
Doctor: Leah has been very lucky from what we can see. She has been in a horrible accident. We have news that the driver who crashed into her has sadly passed away along with the other person affected by the crash. Leah is very lucky to be in the position that she is.
B: Is there any damage?
Doctor: Leah has not suffered any damage that will be long lasting, she has a cracked rib and we will test for concussion once she wakes up. But we will be bringing her out of the coma today.
B: Thank you, for everything you've done for her.
Doctor: It's my job, do you have any questions?
B: How long will she be out of football for?
Doctor: With her rib I'd say around 4 weeks until she can be in full time training, but rest for 2 weeks completely and she should be able to take on light training afterwards until she feels that she is okay.

The doctor left and I decided to call Amanda and explain what the doctor had said, she was crying with happiness that her baby was going to be okay. I told her they think she'll be awake in around 3 hours so she is in no rush and I'll call her again if anything changes.

Next I called Jonas to update him on Leah's injury. He was pleased that she will only be out for 2/4 weeks. I think everyone expected it to be a lot longer. But he has given me this week off and he even said he will allow me to play on Sunday without being in training because of the situation.

Once I had finally finished having a chat with Jonas I saw two friendly faces peering through the window and waved them in.

B: Hi Beth, Hi Viv. Come and sit down and I'll give you the news.

They instantly looked as if Leah was about to die, anticipating that the news I was about to give would be bad news. But once I had told them everything they lit up. Beth took Leah's hand and said "I told you you're a fighter Williamson" which made my heart melt.

The girls stayed for an hour or so and then headed out to training. And this was my opportunity to speak to Leah without a response and being able to get everything out in the open. But that's not what I wanted. I wanted her to know what I had said. I wanted her to understand why I am the way I am. I decided that I would write it all down.

To Leah,
I know this is stupid, I'm sat right next to you but there is so much I want to say and I don't want you to miss a word. I am so sorry that I ran away from you. To Ella's I mean not the rest of the times. I should have stayed and spoke to you. But you had plans and it hurt me. It hurt me to know that you were going off and meeting her. Anyways the point of me writing this to you is that I need you to know that I don't mean to be the way I am. I don't mean to be broken, I don't mean to be damaged. But I am really trying Le, I'm trying for you. You don't understand how much I love you and how much I would love to be enough for you. But in truth I know that I'm not hence why I stayed with Lucy after what happened between us to begin with. It was always you in my head Leah. But I knew and still know you deserve more. I physically can't explain to you how much it hurt me to listen to you when you told me you had a girlfriend because in truth Le I could never sit and watch you be with someone else. I'm sorry about the night I went clubbing and I am so happy that you came and got me. All I want is you Leah, I know I push you away but seeing you today and yesterday after the accident has shown me that not everyone has 9 lives like you. And I could never forgive myself if I wasn't honest with you. And I know this is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to things I need to be honest with you about but I will speak to you when you're better. I promise. That's all I had to say to be honest but when you're finally well enough to read this don't mention it to me because this is far too soft for me to cooperate with.
I love you always
Your Bels

I folded the paper in half, wrote Leah on the front of an envelope I found around the room and left it on the table next to her bed. I was getting ready to head home and have a shower because Amanda text and said she was just parking up and that was when I felt it. Leah gripped onto my hand. Only for a brief second. Tears streaming down my face from the emotional trauma I've had to go through being honest with my feelings to a notepad. I stood up and walked towards the door. But before I could get there I heard

"Hello"