Undeniable | Louis Tomlinson

46

"We all know I should be the one to say, we all make mistakes."

~~~

After I left Alex's room I went and apologized to Amy for worrying her. She forgave me like the forgiving person she is of course.

By the time I was done talking with her it was now one a.m. I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep so I sat down at the kitchen island and poured myself a drink. So here I was, drinking alone.

The thoughts were racing through my mind at full speed. I quickly drank whatever was left in my cup before pouring myself another drink. Anything to keep away reality.

I have work tomorrow which I'm not looking forward to. He left the diner to me but I don't know how I could carry on after this. I can't keep up what he was doing. Its all just too much. I have to situate his funeral tomorrow and then sometime this week I need to go to his house and start cleaning things out.

I sighed, feeling overwhelmed with the current state of my life. Now, I officially had no family. I was completely alone. There was no going home for the holidays or celebrating my dad's birthday with him. It was just me. I'm the sad orphan kid that has to tag along with her friends to holidays because I have no one else.

I sat there the rest of the night, wallowing in self pity and drowning myself in alcohol. What a joke.

~~~

I felt calloused fingers brushing hair from my face that was pressed against the cold countertop. My eyes fluttered open to be met with concerned blue eyes.

"Love, what are you doing sleeping out here?" Louis asked, rubbing my back.

I sat up, stretching my sore body that was hunched over all night. I looked around noticing I was still in the kitchen. I must of fell asleep out here last night.

"Last night after you fell asleep I went and talked to the girls and then came out here for a drink." I explained. "I must of fallen asleep."

He eyed me worriedly. I had to make him stop worrying about me. I hated it. 

"Well...you have your meeting to set up your Dad's funeral soon..." He reminded me.

I nodded. "Right..." 

I went to my room and changed into something casual but nice and did some light makeup. I sat down at the end of my bed taking a deep breath. I can do this. I'm just going to be planning my Dad's funeral. No biggie, right?

The door creaked open causing me to look up and see Alex walking in. "Hey...Louis had to go meet the guys and he wanted me to let you know."

"Thanks, Alex." I forced a half smile.

"Are you...doing okay?" she asked, stepping further into my room.

I nodded, standing up and walking over to her and bringing her into a hug.

"I'm okay as I can be." I said into her hair as I hugged her tightly.

She pulled away, letting her hands trail down to grasp mine. "Do you want me to come with you?"

I shook my head. "No, no its fine. I can do it." 

"Okay. Just call me if you need me." She smiled softly. 

"I will." I nodded. "I better get going before I'm late." 

Here we go. 

~~~

I sat in my car, eyes closed. I just finished arranging my Dad's funeral. My head felt like it was spinning the whole time. All I could think about was leaving, getting a drink, and getting high. So, I pulled out the small mint container filled with joints out of my purse. I took one out and put the rest back. 

I set it between my lips and fished out my lighter from my pocket and lit it. I instantly felt relieved and began to relax. I brought my leg up to rest on the seat and leaned my arm on top of my knee. I remembered the liquor bottle I had hidden underneath my seat and reached my hand back to grab it. 

Soon, twenty minutes turned to an hour as I was still sat in the parking lot now having drank quite a bit. I was feeling much better now. My head was spinning and everything was fuzzy. I brought the bottle up to my lips and was about to take another drink when my phone started ringing in the seat next to me. 

I giggled when I saw it read Louis. I reached over and grabbed it, clicking the answer button. 

"Louis!" I answered happily. "Hi!"

"Love, where are you? The girls said your appointment ended an hour ago." He asked, his voice laced with worry. 

"Lou, babe, I'm fine! Don't you worry your pr-pretty little head." I hiccuped. 

"Are you drunk?" He questioned, hearing my slurring. "Fucks sake Emery."

I frowned. I didn't want him to be mad at me. He sounded mad at me.

"But baby," I whined. "Don't be mad, I don't like when you're mad at me."

The other line was silent for a moment before he responded.

"I'm coming to get you. Stay there." He says and hangs up.

I threw my phone into the passenger seat and brought my knees up to my chest with a sigh.

I always mess things up. I don't mean to, but I do. My life's just going to shit and I don't know what to do. I mean, what can I even do? Nothing...I just can't do this anymore.

I knew losing a parent would hurt. I knew that. I just don't know how I'm supposed to continue life with this huge cloud of grief following me everywhere I go, at every minute of the day.

I jumped when I heard a car door slam shut. I turned my head to see Louis and Niall getting out of a car. Louis walked up to my door and opened it.

"Are you mad at me?" I pouted.

"Get out of the car, Emery." He instructed.

I rolled my eyes and huffed as I got out the car and stood beside Niall.

"Thanks for the help, Ni." Louis spoke to Niall before tossing him my car keys and grabbing my arm gently.

Niall nodded and walked past us, getting into my car and driving away.

"Let's go."

Even though I didn't want to give in to him bossing me around, I got into the car anyway, not wanting to start problems. I watched as he walked around the car and got into the driver's side.

"Louis, can you please talk to me?" I begged as he started the car and drove out of the empty parking lot.

I looked over at him, jaw clenched and hands gripping the steering wheel tightly as he drove us home.

An idea pops into my head. I guess I'll just have to convince him to talk to me.

I slowly reach my hand over and place it on his thigh. His body tenses under my touch as I slowly trail my fingertips further and further up his leg. He glances down and quickly grabs my hand and places it back in my lap.

My cheeks turn red in embarrassment of him rejecting me. He must really be mad.

I messed up bad this time.

~~~

A/n:
so Emery is still in her downwards spiral...let's hope she doesn't do anything too stupid ;)