Alcohol - Jude Bellingham

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A/N: My first Jude fic, hope you like it. 💛🖤

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I sighed heavily while tilting my head back to swallow every last drop left of my wine bottle. I balled my fists to wipe my mouth. I exhaled and stared at the grass beneath my feet wondering, 'at least it had a life.' I let the empty wine bottle roll down on the grass, crispy with the cold night air. I heard a crunch behind me. Before I could turn, Jude was making his way to me.

He sat cross-legged beside me. I rested my temples against his left shoulder and started to cry.

I cried.

I wailed.

I sobbed.

I screamed.

"Baby, stop", he said while cupping my cheeks and staring at my eyes deeply. "You're drunk, you just had an entire bottle of wine."

"It's not my fault my life's fucked up," I told him while closing my eyes. Jude wiped the tears from my wet cheeks and I leaned my forehead against his chest. He kissed the top of my head. "Let's get you to bed, c'mon," he held my waist and helped me get up.

I was staggering. I put my arms around Jude's neck and clambered my feet up to his hips so he could carry me. I pecked him on the lips and let my forehead rest on his shoulders.

Jude opened the door to his home and carried me to his bedroom. He laid me on the bed and pulled the covers. I sat and leaned against the headboard with a throbbing headache as if someone was in my head continuously beating drums. It hurt like hell.

"You good?" he asked while I placed my fingers on my temples with a slight pressure to ease the pain. I nodded. "Headache?" He approached the bed and kissed me on the forehead. "I'll bring some paracetamol. It'll help" I hummed. "I probably shouldn't have drunk that much."

"Yeah, you practically emptied one whole bottle," he said matter-of-factly.

He came back with the paracetamol and a glass of water. He placed them on the side table and took my hands in his while I was still leaning against the headboard. He took my waist and aligned it with his so I was now leaning against his chest. "You okay now? You cried a hell of a lot earlier."

I hummed. "Baby please talk, I'm worried", he said while brushing strands of hair from my face. "It's just that my head hurts, Jude. I can't even think straight right now," I mumbled.

He kissed my forehead, helped me lay on the bed, and pulled the covers over us again. He shifted closer to me and hugged me from the back while resting his chin on my shoulder. "Goodnight," he said sleepily.

I woke up on an empty bed. My head feeling slightly better but it was spinning. Everywhere was spinning. I couldn't see anything the world around me felt like a winding bobbin in a sewing machine. It was spinning and spinning. From left to right and right to left.

I put both of my hands to my side and steadied myself. I closed my eyes leaned my head forward and cried. Again. This time, I felt more pain and more sorrow. It felt like it was eating me up from inside. Sometimes I wished the pain I felt was not slow and painful. I just wished it was straight and fast. So it'd finish as soon as it started.

Jude stepped into the room with a tray of breakfast. He placed them on the bedside table and pressed his lips on my collarbone. I smiled and looked at him. He was the reason I wanted to live, the one who made everything fade away: the urge to die and leave everything. He was the bright diamond that clustered my darkness inside it.

I pressed a soft kiss on his jawline and my hands automatically reached the back of his neck. He smiled and kissed me back.

***

a/n: this has been in my drafts since forever. I don't even know where this story leads but I think it was kind of cute after all <3


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