It hurts to be human – P!nk
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Karen
I sat in my bedroom holding King in my rocking chair as he laid asleep in my arms. I kissed the top of my head as I closed my eyes and tried to drift off to sleep, but before that could happen the door to his nursery burst open and my sisters came barging in.
"KAREN! WHERE YOUR ASS AT?!" Dorinda yelled, coming through the door.
"Doe, please shut your ass up before you wake up my son. Then you're going to have to get him back to sleep." I warned her.
Getting up, I laid King in his basinet so that he could sleep as Jacky began speaking.
"Karen, Dave told us what you did."
I looked at her feeling betrayed.
"Nah, don't do that. Don't act betrayed as if you can't believe that he would tell us what YOU did." Dorinda said.
"Look, none of you understand. Iyanla was threatening to take one of the things that I love the most in this world and that's my husband's dick. She called me a hoe and said that I would cheat on him so I popped her dead in her shit." I said.
"We understand, alright. We understand the fact that you're a sex addict and you need help because if you don't get it it's only going to get worse."
"Really, Jacky? You act as if I made myself a sex addict. Dave did this to me. He turned me into a sex addict. He's the one who fucked me whenever and however I wanted it, and he did it so passionately and as deep and nasty as he could. Shit...." I said, biting my lip.
"Look at you. You're getting horny just thinking about it aren't you?" Dorinda asked.
I put my head down in defeat.
"I can't help it. He just does something to me. I don't know what to do.... Twinkie help me."
Twinkie hugged me as I began tearful not knowing what to do with this sex addiction that was starting to consume every part of my mind.
"I have a question, Karen. It's okay for you to be honest with me, but I need to know in order for me to find the solution to your problem." Twinkie said.
"Yes?" I sniffled.
"When you were molested as a child did you ever deal with the root of it and heal from it, or did you just push it under the rug and bury it deep within your mind as if it never happened?"
Hearing her question, I began to cry answering her question. I sank to the floor as she held me in her arms. Dorinda and Jacky surrounded us as they got on the floor with us and Twinkie held me against her chest.
"You never dealt with the molestation?" Dorinda asked.
"I-I couldn't. It was too much to take it so I just.. I went numb and never dealt with it because it was too much to deal with. I started having sex at a young age to cope and then my alters were developed so I never did anything with it." I admitted with tears down my face.
Jacky brushed my face softly as she wiped my tears with her hand.
"That's why you have this sex addiction. You have yet to deal with your past and childhood trauma when you were a child. I think it's best if you deal with that instead of going through this marriage counseling you need to go to a facility to get help with this addiction."
"Jacky, I can't leave again. I left for seven years where am I supposed to even go?" I cried.
"No one said that you had to go alone. I'm more than sure that Dave will be more than willing to pack up with the triplets and King and follow you wherever you go. Your older children can stay right here in Detroit or if they want to follow they can, but you need to do what you have to do to live a better healthier life for you and your marriage. The place is called Begin Again Institute and it's located in Berthoud, Colorado." Jacky said.
