Excuse any mistakes 🫶🏾💕
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Karen
Dorinda rocked me back and forth in her arms as I sobbed and Jacky held my hand trying to comfort me. It felt as though I'd shed a million tears but I just couldn't stop crying. Jacky looked over at Twinkie who stood against the wall staring down at the floor.
"Twink, why aren't you over here helping us comfort our baby sister?" Jacky asked.
"There isn't any room left for me."
"Elbernita be for real. Why aren't you over here?" Dorinda asked.
I looked up at her tearfully as I sniffled.
"You blame me too don't you? That's why you're not over here?" I cried.
"Karen, of course not. I don't blame you. Do I think this should have never happened and should have been avoided? Yes. But you did what you thought was right and you can't beat yourself up for that." Twinkie said, rubbing my leg.
"N-No, this one is my fault. This o-one is on me. I've never seen him so upset before and I actually deserve it. I deserve it."
"Shh, shhhhh. Just don't think about it. Dave is an asshole for leaving you here, but I don't want you to think about any of that. You just focus on healing." Dorinda said, holding me tightly.
"My baby.... m-my baby's gone and it's m-my fault. I can't get that back. God, I'm sorry. I-I'm so sorry." I sobbed.
I cried in her arms as she held me. Jacky wrapped her arms around her and me as she helped her hold me, and Twinkie started a prayer seeing how broken I was about this situation. After Twinkie finished praying a doctor came back in the room.
"Mrs. Webster, are you ready for your procedure?"
"Hold on, what procedure?" Dorinda asked, jumping into protective mother mode.
"Doe, they have to do a D&C on her which involves widening her cervix and scraping her uterine lining. It's going to be painful but they will give you anesthesia to put you to sleep, but they've got to get the rest of the baby's remains out of you." Jacky said.
"N-No, please don't. Don't take my baby from me."
They all looked at me sympathetically knowing that I wasn't ready to let go of the attachment I had with my son.
"I'm sorry ma'am, but we have to do this. If we don't the remanding particles from your baby will kill you. We have to make sure that no remains are left in your uterus." The doctor explained.
I sobbed uncontrollably as Dorinda held me tighter and Twinkie rubbed my leg.
"It's going to be just fine. We aren't leaving and we won't let anything happen to you." Jacky said.
I continued crying as I was wheeled out of my hospital room into my procedure room to get the surgery done. I wasn't sure how long I'd be in the hospital but one thing I did know was that if no one else had me my sisters always would.
FOUR HOURS LATER:
I laid in bed emotionless staring at the wall as tears slid down my face one by one. I'd shed so many tears it felt as though I couldn't cry anymore, yet my heart was still in a million pieces. My baby was gone, my husband was upset with me, and it felt as though God wasn't here with me. He didn't hear me. I begged him to save my child and he didn't. He didn't hear my prayer. In this I felt broken, I'd lost my faith, and I felt all alone.
There was a knock on the door before Jacky got up and opened the door and the doctor came in.
"Karen, it's Dr. Vanessa. How are you feeling? I know that's a dumb question to ask especially giving the circumstances, but it's job protocol so I have to ask." Dr. Vanessa said.
