Forever And A Day || Season 2 || Quinn Fabray Story

56. Never Been More Sure.

Ryan

Slam.

I was so lost in my head that I barely felt the force in which Quinn shoved me against the door. The hard wood of the Fabray's heavy front door the only thing keeping me grounded in that moment. It's sturdy, keeping me upright. Standing. Tonight had been a whirlwind. And this just threw me through a loop. I wasn't expecting any of this. 

And then we were moving again. Quinn's soft hand running down from my neck to my arm and grasping my hand, dragging me over to the stairs. Leading me up to what would be any guys absolute dream. Her smile quickly aimed my way as she turned and she bit her lip with a certain shyness about her. That look. That damn look. One look and I'm weak. That sweet and innocent lip bite that somehow manages to be cute and absolutely fucking sexy all at once. 

Man, she's gorgeous.

She's breathtaking. Honestly. 

And she wants to do this. She wants to go all the way. 

How lucky am I?

Any guy I know would take this opportunity in a heartbeat, right? no hesitation. Ho thought. To have her wholly and completely in this way. After everything she's been through. She trusts me enough with this. 

You'd be out of your mind not to go for it. Right?

I pulled through her bedroom door and my feet are moving on autopilot. Like I'm not in charge of my body. I'm too in my head. This is a big deal. I'm about to loose my V card tonight. 

That's always been the goal right? I never thought I'd have Quinn like this.I never thought she'd be this girl for me. The one. Speaking of Quinn, she seductively shoves me on the bed. That look once again plastered on her face, smirking down at me as she wastes no time in straddling me. I take a moment. I gulp heavily. And I...

I freeze.

I just freeze. 

Unmoving. And for a few moments I get away with it. Like nothing is wrong  Quinn currently making it her mission to find that spot on neck that never fails to drive me wild. But tonight...

Nothing. 

She pulls back from me and stares down at me. Face slightly falling in realising that i'm not reacting to her best move. The move that never fails normally.  And I can't look at her. To see that disappointment aimed my way. I'm letting her down again. I'm ruining yet another thing on her perfect night. 

And I know you're probably all thinking. You're an Idiot.

You had this. 

She's a goddess! Worship her!

And thats what I want too. I want that more than anything. 

"Ry?" She asked worriedly. I didn't reply. Trying my best to avoid eye contact. "Ry, whats going on?" She asked more seriously. 

"I..." I tried but failed to finish. 

"You what, Ry? Tell me what going on." She said again running her hand over my chest in a soothing manner. 

"I don't know if I can do this" I said blankly, not quite believing I was saying it in this moment. Why was I stopping this? What is wrong with me?

It was her turn to freeze. But she smiled at me and ran her hand up to cup my cheek delicately. 

"It's okay to be nervous Ry" She said and ran a thumb over my cheek. "I am too, but I've never been more sure about something." She said with finality. "It's just us. You and me."

"But it's not though is it." I interrupted out of nowhere. Again barely even registering the words as my own at this point. 

She slightly scoffed in confusion and took her hand away from my face.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" She asked and little more shortly. 

The silence that fell between us was stifling. 

"Quinn, You know I don't like my personal business out there for all to see" I started. I took a breath. She just listened. "And now all I can think about is the fact that the whole club knows exactly what you want to happen tonight. I mean it was blatantly obvious." I said and she frowned at me before another scoff. Pushing up and off of me and sitting up on the edge of the bed. Back straight as a rod. That Fabray posture coming out in full force. Head held high. Like nothing can get to you. She was freezing me out. 

"So what? What is this...They figured out that I want to take things to the next level with you. My Boyfriend... and now suddenly you, don't want to?" She bit back at me with a shrug my way. 

"Its not that I don't want to." 

"Then why the hell are we arguing over this instead of ending this night in the most perfect way possible?" She asked and I just now noticed the tears in her eyes. The ones that have been threatening to escape since I gave her that charm for her bracelet. My eyes drifted down to it and I'm reminded of everything that we've come through. Everything that happened tonight. 

Silence again.

"The one night in my life that I've wanted to just be perfect. Ever since I can remember, And I didn't get prom Queen. And now my perfect guy, is telling my he doesn't want to sleep with me." She said more to herself than me. 

Perfect. That word. Perfect Ending. Perfect Night. Perfect Boy. Perfect girl. Perfect. Perfect. Perfect. 

I went to console her.

"Don't" She warned me. A hand out stopping me from getting any closer. 

"Quinn..."

"So what we can make out. We can... fucking grind on each other but what you're too grossed out by me to go all the way?" She said getting more agitated. 

Nice one Ryan. Way to go buddy. 

"Quinn that's not..."

"Not what?" She said sending a harsh glare back at me. "Who am I kidding, you seen me pregnant. You've seen me give birth and I thought, Quinn you really have found the worlds best gentleman, who loves you despite all those things. You yourself even told me that. That you didn't care about my past. You loved me for me. But you're just like all the other guys Ry."

"Now hang on!" I said putting a stop to that. "Let me explain."

"You know any guy would jump at the opportunity to be with me like this." She said "And I thought you wanted this. I thought you wanted me." She said shaking her head. 

"I do want yo..."

"Yeah because it really looks that way." She paused and the silence fell again. 

"Just go." 

"Quinn, can you please just let me..."

"Just go!" She basically shouted at me. "I just want... need to be alone." She said and without another word she stood and walked off toward her bathroom, leaving me sat bewildered as to what just happened. 

I fucked that up didn't I...