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( volume ii, chapter xxxiv )
evictions and the exhiled
SUNNYSIDE TRAILER PARK
JANUARY 15TH, 2018
SOUTHSIDE RIVERDALE
''Sheriff Keller. What a surprise.''
''Jughead. Mia. FP. Sorry to bother you, it's uh—''
''We do not have General Pickens' head,'' Jughead droned. ''And we do not know who stole it.''
''Same as the last four times you came by to ask us and our neighbours.''
''Don't you have something better to do, Sheriff?'' Mia asked, painting her nails at the kitchen table. ''Honestly, I've seen you more times this past week than I have my mother in the last year or so.''
''These visits are starting to feel a lot like harassment,'' Jughead sighed. ''There's absolutely no evidence, zero proof whatsoever pointing to any particular group of suspects.''
''You did write a rather scathing article about the general's legacy, which prompted the Southside Serpents to stop by Pickens Day with an axe to grind.''
''Have you been spending a lot of time with Hiram Lodge recently, Sheriff? You're starting to sound a lot like him, unfortunately.''
''For your information, I'm actually writing a new article about how you seem to care more about catching a vandal than the Black Hood. Can I get a quote?''
FP chuckled, unfazed by Sheriff Keller's unimpressed expression.
''I think it's time to set your priorities straight, Sheriff.''
''Sheriff Keller, we have to stop meeting like this,'' Jughead joked, although there was nothing joyful about his or Mia's face.
The older man stopped in his tracks to the Jones' trailer door, the paper of doom clutched in his grip. ''Where's your dad at?''
''Wouldn't you like to know.''
''Had a shift at Pop's. Why?''
''It's an eviction notice,'' he told the twins, finalizing the sentence with a staple. ''You two, your dad, pretty much everyone in this place, you all gotta clear out.''
''I beg your pardon?''
''Don't tell me this is all because of that statue,'' Jughead barked. ''For the millionth time, Sheriff, we did not decapitate General Pickens.''
