She was known to be a good girl, but those who knew her say she is a bad girl with crazy thoughts. She was excited to have fun in the marriage she was about to attend, only to realise it's going to be hers.
He was a bad boy with no one by his side...
He stood in front of me with his hands in his hair, refusing to look me in the eyes.
"Please tell me what it is, Advik! you are scaring the shit out of me right now" I cry out
"I .....I... received an email last night and I had been waiting for it even before I married you" he said slowly.
"What were you waiting for?" I whispered.
"I wanted to continue my studies, to study MBA in the USA. I could come back to India to work after finishing getting an MBA there. So I had applied for a University there. I got a reply that I was accepted to join the course. I would have to leave India in 1 month or so. I had been preparing stuff since I had applied" he raised to look at me.
I was dumbfounded not knowing what to say. Should I be happy that he was accepted? or sad that he had kept it a secret from me? I know its his life and his career but now I am his wife so his decisions might affect me in a certain way too.
"First things first, congratulations on your selection, Advik. I am really happy for you" my vision was blurred, slow tears spilled out of my eyes.
I quickly wiped my tears off.
"I am sad that you did not think to say any of this matters to me. I wonder what made you keep it a secret from me. I understand that it is your life, your career. But now I.. we are married so your actions affect my life too. I just need some time to take this all in okay?"
" I'm sorry Pari, I was waiting for the correct time to tell you this. I was not soo sure about being accepted into the university, honestly it was all a gamble for me. I did not expect to fall in love with you or to even marry you or anyone for that matter when I travelled to Dharwad. Even after I married you and came back I was scared to tell you about this. I thought I might hurt you more after what you had been through the past few days. I'm sorry , Pari I really am sorry" he was now crying too and I could no longer bear any more of this sudden surprises in my life.
"I need time, Advik. We will speak tomorrow" saying that I stood up and locked myself in our room.
I broke down crying and sobbing. I was shaking as I sat on the bed. I no longer had the strength to hold myself stable due to the continuous life changing surprises.
Why does everyone do this to me? Why am I left out while my life is also changing while they make decisions.
I was furious with everyone. I felt like I had no control over my life anymore.
He says he has to leave the country in a month and expect me to understand in just a few minutes. For fucks sake I love him and its not even days that I spent with him. But he has to leave already.
I lost track of time as I was a sobbing mess. I was in bed curled up.
"Hey, Pari. Are you okay? It's 9 p.m I cooked dinner for us. Will you come out and have dinner with me? If not then can I atleast know that you are okay? I am worried about you." his pleading voice was low and I could feel the sadness behind it.
I began sobbing quietly, I realised this is what he was afraid of, me being sad and mad. I also realised that I was mad at myself now because of how I had reacted to as he told me the truth. I should have been a little more accepting, I thought. How am I going to face him?
"I... I am alright. I am not hungry but you should have dinner. We will talk tomorrow. I have a headache right now" I said to him but my heart ached for him. I wanted to see him and hug him tightly.
After a few hours he came to the door again. " I'm really sorry, Pari. Please know that I love you, goodnight love".
All night I kept the door closed and kept sobbing and the cold night did not help it.
********************************
"Good morning", I said with a weak smile as I saw in the kitchen after he had come back from the gym.
He came near and looked into my eyes without saying anything. He hugged me slowly as I hugged him back.
" I'm sorry Advik, I should not have been such a bitch yesterday. You deserved a better reaction" I said against his chest while we hugged.
He cupped my face and looked at me for a second before he spoke, "you don't have to apologise. I did deserve you being mad at me for the reason that I kept a secret from you".
"Look at you, how much did you cry? Your eyes are swollen, ugh.." he sighed looking sad.
We sat in the dining table having our breakfast and talked about our next decisions.
"You can stay here for the next two years Pari. I will pay the rent for you" he said.
"No, we can't afford to waste money on this house for the next two years just for me to live here. We should move somewhere cheaper for the next few years. I will graduate in months and I am expecting to land on a job soon. I could work part time and study together. It's my last year so I won't have many classes either. I should be able manage" I was not ready to live here due to the rent being high. Also, I didn't want to be a burden to him while he needed money too.
He frowned, "Pari, you are worrying too much and it sounds too much to handle for you all alone. I have savings we could spend for the next year at least. We can manage "
"No, Advik you are going to accept my decisions. I will inform you and we could search an other way if I feel its too much to handle" I stood my ground.
" You will tell me, if that's the matter. Okay?" he finally accepted defeat.
"So when will you be back?" I was ready to wait for him even for years.
"After two years maybe same as this time of the year" he said.
"Okay, so when are expected to leave?" I hope we have time before we leave.
"A month from now"
"Good, also you will come back to work here. Right?"
"I promise you I will be back soon" he assured me.
"Also Pari I wont be working from the next week. But I have documents and things to prepare for my leave. So while I stay, I want to spend time with you. I want to leave you with happy memories as well as I want to have them while I leave" His words made me happy but also sad at the same time.
"Sure" I smiled.
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