As You Are

15: A Hug?

You were sitting on the white marble floor with Legos scattered around you. You were trying to make Sydney Opera House with your lego toys using your imagination while Jennie was making Milk-tea for you two.

It became their routine. Since the both of them worked from morning to noon or You sometimes to night for all the paperworks and meetings, both of you spent the night till late together.

Most of the time, they talk bout their day or bout politics what you hated the most, or about Movies what Jennie loves to talk bout. Sometimes, you both do your homework. You with your paper works and Jennie with her cases. However you two did it together in the same place- the Living room. You had an office before Jennie moved in but then the idea of working alone in the study room didn’t pleased you but being in the same room with the latter was much more interesting so you choose this one. Moreover, you can tease her when you are bored- is one more advantage of it.

“Look, at this masterpiece” You shouted while pointing at the quarter-half building grinning from ear to ear.

“How did you do that? There is no manual” Jennie came to the living room with two tea cups in her hand.

“Imagination” You spread your hand in the air.

“You are a dork, you know that?” Jennie giggled.

You shrugged off her statement cause you were way too much to handle the hot cup in your hand. You blew the smoke away and took a small sip in case you burn your tongue. You enjoyed every drop on your tongue as a smile spread on your face.

“Ahh, I like it too much”

“Y/n?”

“Hmm?” You responded while you were already back to your legos.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Just shoot it away” You put them one by one. You were bored with the body so you began to make the thereof.

“You said you don’t like your birthday. Why it is that?”

You stopped for a moment when you heard Jennie’s question. You knew at some point you have to answer it and seems like it’s right now. You can’t hide the reason forever. You sighed and back to work.

“Can I talk while making it?” You pointed at the half-made model.

Distraction. Jennie thought.

“Why not?” She said.

“Three years ago I had everything. Money, family, friends, education, the company. Everything a person can ask from god. But I needed some adrenaline in my system. To get rid of the feeling I had at that time. I wasn’t in the army or anything so doing what rich kids do was the only way for me. Drugs, Drugs, and Drugs. At a point, I was so invested in the thing that I forgot where I was or anything it was just all blurry in my head. The drugs made me lose one of the best people I had in my life. Jaehyun. He found me in an empty club and gave me a ride. The car got into a crash. It happened around my birthday. The end”

“What happens to Jaehyun?” Jennie asked.

“Dead.” You said simply as if it’s just a word that doesn’t matter to you a even bit. But your heart is scattered in pieces saying the word. You know you can’t just break down in front of Jennie so you tried to play cool.

“I’m sorry, Y/n” Jennie muttered lowly. She felt guilt asking such a question.

“Why?” You asked her.

“For your loss, for bring that up. Maybe you never wanted to talk bout it again.”

“It’s okay, Nini. It happened years ago and you don’t even know me back then. Beside, forgetting isn’t the best thing. The memories will come back again. Also, I’m in the healing process right now”

“Were you hurt?” She cursed herself after a such question left her mouth.

“Yeah, got some big cuts here and there. Broke my left hand. It’s just one of the consequences I had to face after doing the bad shit”

“Consequences?”

“Yeah... My parents got disappointed in me, his fiance hates my gut, soo..”

“You didn’t tell them bout it? How you were suffering and the rest? Why does his fiance hate you?”

“How I’m supposed to tell them everything was causing me pain? My dad wasn’t in his best state at that time and handling the company alone was the salt in my wounds. Everything was just not giving me time to think bout myself and eventually, I found cocaine that helped me to get rid of Everything and I felt like an addict Jaehyun helped me to get out of it. But it’s not what we both thought. Getting into the accident and” You sighed.

“Make it alive when he didn’t. It just made his fiance mad at me. Like I deserve his hate. They were supposed to get married in a month and then suddenly he heard his Fiance died in a car crash”

“You don’t deserve his hate” The lawyer’s statement made you look at her with confused eyes.

“The situation wasn’t in your hands. You both got into the accident. Yes, maybe the cause you two got into a car accident was yours. But fate wasn’t in your hands. You didn’t choose to kill him. It was just an accident and he can’t blame you for something that wasn’t in your hands”

“Maybe,” You said in your lower voice.

“You are not the bad guy here, Y/n. He just needed someone to take it out” You nodded as an answer.

“Why you were so fired up to do something like that anyway?”

“I needed adrenaline”

“You already doing all those Richie kid shits wasn’t enough?” Jennie asked in utter disbelief.

“No. I needed more. A lot more” You looked at the legos with blind eyes.

“Why?”

“That’s a another story for a another day,” You said.

The split second of sadness didn’t got unnoticed by Jennie but she didn’t want to bring it up. The topic she opened up about today was enough sensitive for you.

When the time will be right Jennie knows, You will tell her the entire life story.

-

You looked at the half-full plate across from you on the table and sighed. You two suppose to have a peaceful dinner instead have a fighting bout that didn’t even need to be a problem in the first place.

Now, Jennie is mad at her.

“Why are you helping him out?”

“He is a citizen here, he deserves to go through the whole law part”

“But still he is a bad guy in here”

“Well, what he did already break the law. For him thousands of people are jobless and you gotta help him”

“You don’t get it, do you?”

“Get what? That you are helping a bad guy in there?”

“You know what, we shouldn’t talk bout my job when you can’t even see from my perspective”

“Why? Are you mad at meh now? You just asked my opinion and I gave it”

“You asked me to talk bout it!”

“Cause I thought it will be great to talk bout each other daily lives-“

“And that’s what actually I’m doing! I don’t want you to criticize my work when you actually can’t even see the main problem in here!”

“Why you are shouting? It was just my merely thought and it means nothing, to be honest. You gonna help him anyway. I thought you said you will only take low-profile cases”

“I’m going to bed”

“We are having dinner here”

“Finish it by yourself”

“Jen! Jen!”

You took out your black lighter and the cigarette box that you don’t really use that much these days. Taking out a cigarette from inside you put it between your lips and lit up the stick.

You took the first blow and look outside from the giant window frame in the living room. The night sky was glistening with stars and a big half moon. The smoke air was slowly filling your vision.

You huff out the smoke air from inside you before taking the second blow. The peaceful sky somehow made you feel kinda different.

You get the thing that it was your fault. You shouldn’t have been mean to Jennie or her work. Somehow, the smoke made your mind kinda relaxed.

Huffing out the smoke you took the third blow. This one was a bit more than the other two.

You closed your eyes and huffed out the smoke. Feeling kinda less stressed.

Taking the last blow you crush down the cigarette before huffing out the smoke. You should talk with Jennie. You shouldn’t let Jennie sleep mad at you.

Knock... Knock... Knock

“Jen?!” You knocked again. “Please open it up”

“Go away!” Jennie shouted from the room.

“I’m sorry okay? Can we talk Nini, please?” You tapped your knuckles against the door again.

“I don’t want you to sleep upset” There was no response from inside.

“Please, at least open up the door. I just wanna talk the things out. I’m really sorry. I know it was my fault. Forgive me, please?”

Finally, the door clicked as a sign she permitted you to enter.

You pushed the door kinda incase Jennie is still mad and wants to throw things at you.

“Nini?” You peeked through the door.

“I don’t really like you right now” Jennie sulked and fold her arms.

The room was lit by the night lamp on the nightstand. Jennie was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“I know, I’m sorry” You stepped into the room.

“Will you gonna kick me if I sit beside you?” You tried to joke but quickly bite your tongue when Jennie gave you a piercing glare.

“I don’t like it if you are mad. Since it’s me to blame, I really want to make it up to you” You sincerely said to her.

Jennie still with the same expression move to the middle of the bed. You smiled at the act and sat beside her.

“Is it too much to ask permission to hug you?”

For a split second, Jennie’s eye got widened at the sudden request. Her heart thumped like it was going to jump out anytime soon.

There was only one time you invaded her very personal space- at the night when you had a bad dream. Jennie was willing to give you the maximum comfort she could provide by her embrace. Besides, you weren’t aware of the act and you hadn’t grown too attached to her.

Right now, it seemed too much for her to handle. She was scared, somehow.

What if she likes the hug? What would happen then? What if she grew addicted to your touch?

“It’s okay if you aren’t yet..... You know comfortable” You lowered your voice at the last part.

“You can,” Jennie said. Trembling, excited and fear fused into one.

“Really?” You were surprised.

“Don’t ask too much, just do it” Jennie hissed. She was beyond embarrassed and if you wait some more seconds then she might chicken out and run away from there.

But before she could do it you enveloped her into your arms. There was electricity jolted from every cell of your body, it was overwhelming. The war between staying calm or screaming at top of your lungs out of happiness was too real. Extremely real.

“Y/n/n, You have to breath” Jennie sensed no movement from the latter made her worried. She had trouble breathing too but she recovered fast. Your skin felt so soft against her and somehow it relaxed her.

You only nodded.

After several minutes, your breath became steady. You held Jennie closer as the smell of her shampoo penetrated through your nose. You rested your chin upon her shoulder. Jennie was clutching her arm and finally gave in.

“I’m sorry” You apologized again.

“Okay,” Jennie replied.

“Are you still mad?” You felt the lawyer shooking her head.

“What’s in your mad?”

“Honestly, nothing”

“Why is that?”

I can’t think of anything. Is it too much to enjoy your hug this much? She shrugged.

“It was very selfish of me to say those things. I’m sorry”

“You have said sorry thousands of times” She chuckled. “I forgave you already, Y/n/n. I’m sorry too, I overreact”

“It’s fine, you’re cute when you are mad” You laughed.

“Yah!” Jennie pushed you away to only made you tighten your grip.

“Let’s just stay like this for some moments” You mumbled.

It was a secure situation. There was no rush, no worries, just two strangers who developed feelings toward each other lying in the bed and having a good time.

“You should sleep,” You said while Jennie’s heart skip a beat. “Work tomorrow”

Jennie’s brain already started to form an excuse to make You stay.

Too bad it wasn’t successful.

“I will see you first thing in the morning” You pecked the top of Jennie’s forehead and then moved away.

“Sleep tight Nini, Good night” You smiled then turned off the nightstand lamp afterward. You didn’t notice the toothy grin on the latter face who tucked herself in the blanket to stay away from the universe who was now teasing her.

-

She yanked at the door knob harder than necessary. Her heels stamp on the floor with loud noise. A young girl- her secretary- following her with her head hanging low – petrified. Behind that girl, Lisa came after them. Jennie just finished her meeting with a client. When she was in the meeting she looked fine and confident. But then the condition changed right after her client walked out.

“I just want you to remind you have a last meeting in the afternoon, ms Jennie,” the girl said with her head still low too scared to look at her.

“Remind me later” She replied shortly. Her secretary didn’t waste more time leaving her room.

“Poor girl” Lisa stood by the door. “Are you PMS-ing or what?”

“Stay out of it” Jennie dismissed her making Lisa roll her eyes.

“Come on Jen, what it is? You have been grumpier the whole day, Is it Y/n again?” Jennie had vented her thoughts and feelings towards Y/n to Lisa. She was reluctant at first, but the confusion regarding her feeling was out of her limit of understanding and she might blow up if she keep it to herself.

As expected, her expression was natural- good even. Despite she had to answer Lisa’s question of whether she was sure about it over and over again.

Irene didn’t know though. Jennie didn’t want to argue with her just yet.

“I hate her. There I tell you” She crossed her arms.

“What else she did this time?”

“She makes a promise then cancel it again and again and again. Now my patience reaching its peak. Also, I’m PMS-ing, my boobs hurt, any stomach cramps and my mood even get to my nerves”

“Is that even possible to get mad at your own mood?” The talled women wondered.

“Anyway, what promise”

“She promised she’d take me to watch ‘The theory of everything, which she called of last night, the night before, a week before, and probably tonight too”

“You and your romantic movies” Lisa shook her head. “Why did she cancel though?”

“Office, paperwork, and meetings. She literally sits in a chair and listens to those forty-fifty years old man’s talk and read those papers like a robot all the time. She said they have to make the new season clothes and now she isn’t even in her sane pace!” Jennie yelled.

“Wel-“

Lisa’s sentence was cutted.

“I’m tired of her ditching me for those papers and those old people”

“Jenni-“

“She goes to work in rush, comes home late, and falls asleep as soon as her body touched the bed. It takes ages for her to reply to my messages. She rarely eats dinner with me. I made her favorite just you know. I put my best effort into it. She doesn’t even appreciate it!”

“Jennie stop!” Lisa shook her shoulder.

“Listen to me, okay?” Jennie’s breath was ragging but she nodded.

“You are being selfish Jennie. Her work is her responsibility. She has to do it for others. She has a company to look for. To other people who work in there,” She explained. “Do you get what I’m saying?” Jennie sighed and looked away from her best friend.

“You are saying I should give in ‘cause I’m not her employee?”

“What? No!” Lisa shook her head. “You stupid” She poked Jennie’s head at the same time Jennie’s phone rang.

“Wait, it’s Y/n” She stares at the name display. “I have to take this, keep your mouth shut”

“Nini, hey.” You greeted her.

“Hey, Y/n/n” Jennie replied softly. Lisa pretended to puke at it.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing just reading some documents. What bout you?”

“Heading up to the second meeting.” You sighed at the phone. I’m sorry for ditching you last night. But I promise I will make it up to you tonight okay? We will go watch the movie and then can have dinner wherever you want”

“It’s fine, I understand, we can do it some other time if you are tired. I don’t mind” She said sweetly earning a ridiculous look from the latter in her office.

“No, no. I’m all yours tonight. Promise. Look, I gotta go, I will call you again later”

“Bye, Y/n/n. Break a leg” You chuckled as you bid her your goodbye.

Jennie slammed the phone at the desk without mercy and caressed her forehead.

“What it was?” Lisa glared at her.

“You were all mad and yelling at me then became so sweet when she called you then you bang your phone after that, what even?! Are you insane?!”

“She was bout to have a meeting with those oldies again, I just can’t make her overthink bout this stuff when is into her work. She has to be on her easy side. Knowing I’m mad at her will only make her uneasy through the whole thing”

“Oh god, you got it bad Jennie. I swear to god, you got it really bad”

“Do I?” She scrunched up her face.

“Uh-huh”

“Argh,” She groaned. “What I’m supposed to do then?!”

“I don’t know” Lisa sat on the leather chair. “You tell me”

“How can I tell you? If you are not aware of it, I never liked anyone that much who make me lose my mind to the level I don’t recognize myself” She nagged to her friend.

Lisa had to smile to herself seeing the side of Jennie. When Jennie told her bout her feelings she wasn’t even surprised. If anything, she was relieved. She wasn’t okay with the idea of Jennie being with Y/n because of her parents wanted to, now that the main cause somehow switched for Jennie herself, she was happy for her friend.

She thought it didn’t matter if, in the end, they didn’t end up with each. Because what mattered was that Jennie tried to be brave and pulled through a new adventure. Besides, she’d be at her side in case Jennie needed her to punch Y/n if she ever break her heart.

“Let’s talk bout it over pizza, it’s on me” Lisa tugged her hand and dragged her out of the office.

-

Jennie asked Lisa to wait and drive her home. She didn’t feel like taking her car thanks to the cramp. She shook her hand with the client and bow politely as she walked out the old powerful man to the elevator. She was more than ready to end her day.

She fasten her pace towards her office to gather her things and left for home. She opened the door expecting Lisa waiting for her with snacks scattered around. But instead, she found Lisa laughing her ass off with Y/n. She gasped at the view.

The laughter died down when the two realized Jennie’s presence.

“Hey” You stood up.

“I don’t think you need my life anymore, Jen. She is here to pick you up” Lisa grabbed her bag. “It was nice seeing you here, Y/n” Lisa patted your shoulder then left the room.

“Are you going to stand there or are we going to the cinemas? I got two tickets for ‘the theory of everything “ You waved the two small pieces of paper in your hand.

“I thought you have work?” She blinked her eyes didn’t believe the situation.

“I had, I did enough for today. Also, Tzuyu said she will do the rest. So here I’m”

“I’m sorry” Jennie walked closer. She noticed the dark circles under around your eyes.

“You should sleep more” She caressed her eyes bag. You held Jennie’s hand on your face as you closed your eyes enjoying Jennie’s scent.

It took Jennie a long time with you intruding on her personal space. More or less a month to not flinch when you sat too close to her, another month to fully relax under her touch, and weeks to completely drown in her arms.

The lack of cuddle time with you was the another reason for Jennie’s bad mood. Yeah, you two cuddled every chance you both get. She didn’t tell Lisa about that, it was too personal for her and she was too shy to say it out loud.

“It’s okay, I will sleep tonight. Now we got a movie to watch” You smiled. You were tired but you can always sleep in the movies you know it. You already have ditched her three times. You don’t know when you will get time again to spend with her if you do it again.

----
Okah! Is it here finally? 💀 I'm sorry for being dead. I had some mental trauma tbh.

And meh crush litreally ate meh mind so wasn't able to write anything for weeks.

Not atleast meh ass is back after 3weeks. I'm sorry but it won't happen again. I will try to write as much i can be istg🗿💅🏻.

Anyways, thanks for 2k+ reads(crying internally 😭) Keep supporting meh low ass book cause I love Y'all <3👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩