Finally Free

17. you can let it go

Tw: panic attack⚠️

Julie's pov.
It's been a week since my first day back to school and I decided to invite Sofia over for a sleepover. Me and her got really good friends.
"Hey come in" I say and she gives me a quick hug.
"Wow your house looks amazing I love the kitchen" she looks around.
"Yes we all love it" I say and dad walks in from the living room.
"You must be Sofia. I'm Ray Julie's dad" he shakes her hand.
"Hello" i take her arm and we walk upstairs in my room i gasp as i see all 3 of the boys sitting in my bed playing cards.
"What the actual! Guys! Get out now!" I yell ans they jump up. Sofia looks at me confused.
"Are these your cousins or?"
"No Julie's friends and one is a little bit more" Alex shakes her hand and the others do too.
"I'm Alex this is Reggie and Julie's boyfriend Luke"
"Nice to meet you" Reggie says and I give him a angry look.
"What are you guys doing here?! Dad is home" I say and they clean up the cards.
"We were bored" Luke explains.
"Okay now get out all of you!" I point at the door and they walk out.
"I didn't know you have a boyfriend" Sofia sits on my bed.
"Yes we've only been together for about a month" I explain and clean my room a little because the boys left a mess.
"Do they live here?"
"Yes my bandmates are homeless" i explain and she looks confused.
"Long story" i say and she giggles.
"I didn't know you have a band!"
"Yes we've not been on stage since uhm a few months so yeah"
"I really don't know much about you" she laughs and I do too.
"Yes my life is kinda crazy" i sit next to her.
"dinner is ready!" Carlos walks in.
"Sofia my brother Carlos" I explain.
"Hi" she says and Carlos waves and we walk downstairs and sit down. It makes me anxious that there is no seat for mom. And i see that dad and Carlos don't like it too. I get up and get another chair and New plates.
"Julie" dad gives me a serious look.
"Sorry" I say and sit down again next to Sofia and moms seat.
Sofia looks confused and I give her a small smile.
"Okay let's say a prayer and eat" dad claps and we start praying and eating.
After that Reggie gets some dessert.
"Here" Dad gives me my cup and the night pills. Ugh. Sofia watches me. I should've told her everything before the dinner she clearly is confused like hell.
After we all ate we walk upstairs and sit down on my bed just looking at eachother. I sigh.
"You okay?" Sofia asks and I nod.
"I think it's time to tell you about my crazy life" i say and she nods.
"You don't have to"
"You have the right to know we are friends so. Ask me and I will answer everything"
"Hmh! Why the empty seat at dinner?"
"It's moms seat. She passed away a little over a year ago. I can't eat when there is no seat for her left" I explain.
"Oh I'am so sorry" she says and I nod.
"It's okay"
"Why the pills do you have a sickness or something?"
"Kinda but not really. Okay long story short. I fell in a coma a few months ago and thats why i can't be on stage right now with my band and why i can't stay longer in school" I explain and she looks shock.
"Oh I'm sorry for asking. I shouldn't be so noisy"
"No it's okay. Now you know"
"Well are you better now?"
"Kinda i still have therapy lessons and hospital visits but I'm getting there I guess"
"Wow you really have a crazy life"
"I know" I sigh.
"You are so strong" she says and gives me a side hug.
"Okay enough with the sad stuff wanna watch a movie?" I ask.
"Of course" we walk downstairs and watch a disney movie.

It's the best scene in the whole movie moana as I hear someone calling my name.
"Huh?" I ask and look at Sofia who wrinkles her forehead.
"I didn't say something."
"Oh I thought someone called my name?"
"I didn't hear anything"
"Julie! I'm back again!" I sit up. Oh shit it's Caleb i thought he is gone!
"You okay?" Sofia asks and I nod.
"i just have to go to the toilet" I say and run to the toilet downstairs. I sit down on the floor with the wall on my back.
"Get out!" I whisper and i hear a evil laugh.
"Never i told you!! Why are you still here Julie Molina! I thought i already have my band on my own"
"Please stop!" I shake really bad and tears roll down my face.
"Hahaha you little weak freak!"
"Get out of my head" I yell and hear a knock.
"Julie?" It's Sofia.
"You okay?"
I clear my throat "I'm fine" I yell back.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes" I hear her walk away and I press my hands on my eyes. Stop crying Julie!
"Jules?" It's Luke this time.
"Yes?"
"Are you okay?"
"I'm-I'm fine"
"Can I come in?"
"Okay" I didn't lock the door so he walks in and kneels infront of me.
"Hey what's wrong?" Luke takes my hand and I cry out loud.
"He-he is back"
"Caleb?" Luke whispers and i nod.
"I thought he is gone"
"I though so too" I tell him and he pulls me into a hug and pats my back.
I see Sofia standing by the doorframe looking worried.
"Can you get me the pills from the kitchen cabinet over the fridge?" Luke asks.
"No please not them" I cry.
"Sorry" he pats my head and i cry in his chest. His shirt already soaking wet.
"You have to calm down Jules" he whispers in my ear.
"Y-yes" I say but can't stop shaking and crying.
"It's okay I'm here" he says and I notice Sofia coming back.
"No please" I cry as she gives them to Luke she looks at me worried.
"You have to, you know that" Luke says and takes the box and gives me 2 with a cup of water.
"No Luke please!" I look in his eyes.
"I'm so sorry" He helps me take them and soon i feel myself drifting of.

Luke's pov.
Sofia looks shook.
"If she doesn't take them she collapses and doesn't calm down for days" I explain and take the now passed out Julie in my arms and carry her upstairs in her bed.
"Does that happen often?" She asks as I put a blanket over Julie.
"Not as often as it used to be. But still a lot of times" I tell her and she nods.
"Why?" She asks.
"Uhm we don't know probably trauma. Since she was in a coma she isn't a 100% back to herself she struggles with panic attacks and other stuff. She won't tell us but we all know." I pat her head.
"The first day back in school she had a panic attack in the hallway. I helped her but it wasn't as bad as she was now" Sofia explains.
"Wait really? She didn't tell me" I say and look down at Julie.
"What about that Caleb?" She asks and I sigh.
"Hallucinations or she hears him in her head or better she thinks she hears him. It's not real at all" I explain
"Oh no. Okay i think I'll go home now" Sofia takes her things and i walk with her to the door.
"Thanks for your help" I say and she waves for goodbye after that I walk back upstairs and cuddle next to Julie. It's the best when someone is with her when she wakes up. My poor Julie. When will this stop?

Julie's pov.
I wake up and look in Luke's eyes. What happend? Ugh my head hurts. I feel weak and weird. A wave rolls over me and I remember what happend yesterday. Oh no! Where is Sofia?
"Where is sofia" I ask.
"She went home"
"Oh"
"She wanted to" he explains and I nod.
"Are you hungry?"
"Uh yeah" Luke gets up and walks out of my room I sit up in my bed and think about what happend. Oh how much I hate Caleb and these pills. I look at the clock it's 10am. Great no school for me then. But i can walk downstairs and eat with the others so i make my way down the stairs but stop as I hear Alex and Luke talk about me.
"Yes she thought that this Caleb is in her head again" Luke says. Why thought?
"We have to tell that Ray later. She didn't hear him for weeks now why now again?" Alex asks.
"I don't know maybe because of the stress in school? I hope these Hallucinations stop soon. And i told Ray yesterday he already called the doctor he comes over later" Luke explains. Hallucinations?! What? He- he doesn't believe me. He thinks I'm hallucinating!
"Poor Julie she really thinks the voice in her head is real. Maybe we should tell her i mean wouldn't it be better for her?" Alex asks.
"No the doctor said we shouldn't"
"Y-you don't believe me?" I ask and walk down a few more steps.
"Julie!" Luke looks at me shock.
"YOU THINK I'M CRAZY AND THAT THIS IS NOT REAL!!" I yell and tears roll down my face.
"Julie no" he says.
"YES YOU DO! Y-YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME AND THINK I'M DUMB!" I yell and run upstairs in.
"JULIE!"