HOLDING YOU

Chapter 57- You Told Them?!?!

I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling, winters aren't a great motivation if you want to get out of bed... I tug the comforter around my body to conserve my body heat. Suddenly, the door opens. I watch Kabir storm into the room and sit on the bed. His head falls in his hands and I realise that he's angry. Really angry. I get up and keep looking at him. His face is covered by his hands, so he doesn't see me get up.

"Hey," I whisper. He immediately looks at me.

"Uh, hi. Morning." He says quickly.

"You okay?" I ask him.

"No." He clenches his jaw.

"What happened, Kabir?" I keep my hand on his shoulder. He gives me a faint smile, takes my hand from his shoulder, kisses my knuckles and holds my hand tightly.

"You have enough shit of your own... The last thing you need is to be dragged into mine." He smiles.

"Tell me."

"Nope." He tries his best to pretend that he's fine.

"Kabir, you have to tell me... It goes both ways, right?" I reason with him. He sighs.

"Dad went to London..." He pauses to see my reaction, I stay neutral, so he continues...

"He met mum, they had some conversation and she forgave him. I hate her so much right now. How could she do this? This man finished our lives, Siya. He left us. He abused us. He is the reason I hate my childhood. How could she? Why?" He shivers out of rage. I climb on his lap and pull his head to my chest. He wraps his arms around my waist and tightly hugs me. I caress his hair as the side of his face rest on my chest. We stay still for a while. I keep caressing his head and he keeps holding me, trying to hide from the world. I let him. I am his escape and he's mine.

"You can't tell her what she has to do with her life, Kabir. She too is aware of whatever he did." I whisper into his browns.

"I don't want him to hurt her, I'm worried, Siya. She has no one there, she's alone. " He says against my chest.

"I know... But, she's spent all her life looking after you, if she finds her happiness in your dad then you should support her, Kabir. She has no one except for you, does she?" I ask him. He vigorously shakes his head.

"I hate him, Siya. I hate him. How can I accept him?" He looks at me.

"The way I accepted Vivaan, against my will. For you." I feel my pulse quicken at the mention of his name, I stiffen and goosebumps raise on my skin, I feel the discomfort in my chest, Kabir looks at me and his eyes go wide as he watches me. I quickly get off his lap and run to the bathroom, I start vomiting as my past stands in front of me.

"I fucking paid your father to marry you, this isn't some bloody partnership, you're my God damn property and you have to do whatever I tell you to. You get it?"

"Siya Mehra, listen carefully. All I need to do is, make a call, my men shoot your boyfriend and the innocent guy loses his life. You understand, right?"

I feel the tears streaming down my cheeks, burning like acid on my face, Kabir keeps rubbing my back and holding my hair away from my face. I get up and gargle till the taste of bile leaves my mouth, I rush to my cupboard and take out my medicine kit, I find it difficult to open the kit as my hands are shivering badly, I keep crying and the box falls from my restless hands. Kabir quickly picks it up and takes out my pill. He knows when what medicine is to be given.

"I need two," I tell him as he hands me the pill.

"No." He says.

"Please. I can't take it anymore, I need the pills, I'm going crazy. Please, Kabir." I beg him.

"Take this, the prescription strictly says not more than one pill a day." He gently places the pill in my mouth and gives me a glass of water, I somehow take the pill and wipe my face, still shivering. I ball my fists to my side and keep shivering. Kabir pulls me to his chest and his head rests on top of mine. I shove my hands in the back pockets of his jeans as his huge arms surround my shivering body. I try to breathe slowly to calm myself and the medicine too helps me feel at peace. What the hell have I done to myself? A medicine is needed to calm me down, to keep me normal... Fuck. I plant a kiss on his chest and rest my forehead on it.

"Siyu."

"Mhmm."

"Your dad called me yesterday." I immediately look at him.

"What did he say?" I feel good talking about him... Okay, I don't feel sick talking about him at least, if not good.

"Your parents are missing you." He smiles. I roll my eyes.

"Since when do they miss me?" I taunt him.

"Since they've realised that their daughter is a badass." He kisses my forehead.

"What did you tell them?" He looks... Scared.

"Kabir, what did you say?" I ask him again.

"You have a flight this weekend, you're going to Delhi, Myra will stay with me here." He says.

"What?" I almost yell.

"Siyu, I can explain..."

"You didn't even ask me once..."

"Siya, you should talk to them..."

"You told them?" I yell.

"I... They had to know..."

"Are you crazy? You told them that I have PSD or whatever the hell that is!! Are you mad?" I want to punch him.

"Siya, listen to me." He slightly raises his voice, establishing his alpha. I shut up. Immediately. He wraps his hands around my waist and pulls me to himself. I feel weak at the knees, I feel like paper, light and fragile and safe at the same time. I try to keep standing as I lift my head high enough to look into those eyes, shining with wisdom and responsibility.

"You have to move on... You have to keep going, Siya. You need to keep walking till your past is left far behind, till it looks small when you're forced to look back, till the mention of it doesn't break you, till you are able to surround yourself with people who make you stronger. You have to keep walking, you have to forgive, you have to fight, you have to love yourself, you have to allow yourself to be happy again, and you have to give life a second chance. If not for yourself, then please do it for me, please do it for Myra." He sighs.

"But, my therapy?"

"I asked Dr Roy, he said that you should go and that he'll take the missed sessions later on..." Kabir smiles, and I playfully poke his dimples. He giggles.

"He's charging you extra?" I ask him.

"You bet." He smiles.

"I'm sorry." I sigh.

"Shut up." He snaps, and I laugh at his words.

"How will you take care of Myra?"

"You don't have to worry about anything, I'm there... She'll be fine." He smiles. Okay, so I'm going to Delhi. Huh...