HOLDING YOU

Chapter 29- Mumma is very strong...

Kabir's POV...

I drive home after dropping off Siya. I park my car and take my stuff, I see that Siya has left her phone in the car. The first thought that comes to my head is that I'll give her the phone at the bank tomorrow morning. But then, she has to go shopping and it's getting dark, so I decide to drive back and give her the phone. I drive to her place quickly and take the elevator. I'm relieved to see that the door is slightly open. She hasn't left yet. I push the door open and look at the sofa. It's empty. I get inside and start walking toward the kitchen area. The sight of what I see next makes my head go blank. Red is all that I can see. My blood gets cold. My hands curl into fists and my heart stops beating. I'm trying to breathe but the room feels like a vacuum.

Siya is standing with her back against the wall wearing a bra and pyjamas, her T-shirt is lying on the floor. Her eyes are screwed shut and she's crying like hell. Her hand is tightly closing her mouth and she's not making a single noise. There's a man pressed against her, he's on her neck and his hands are on her chest. Myra is nowhere to be seen. I have seen this guy before. It's Vivaan. Don't kill him, Kabir. Don't. We have a life to live. He deserves a better punishment. I breathe and stride towards them. I grab him by his collar and pull him away from Siya. My fist connects with the centre of the motherfucker's motherfucking face and he falls. I look at Siya. My heart has a failure, my soul leaves my body at the sight of her. She looks miserable. She slowly slides down against the wall and sits down. She pulls her knees to her chest and her head hits the back of the wall. She tries to open her eyes but they're swollen. I need to breathe. It might be a heroic thing to do, but I can't murder an asshole. He is going to die. But not an easy death. I warned him.

"Get the fuck out." I don't look at him.

He doesn't say anything, but I hear footsteps fading in the gallery of the complex to know that he left. I close the door and walk toward Siya. I try to hug her, but she puts her hand in front of my face. She tries to go back, but you can't push a wall...

"Don't touch me. Please, don't touch me." She says in a pleading tone.

"Okay, okay." I back off. She starts getting up, I want to help her stand, but she clearly doesn't want me to touch her.

"Where are you going?" I ask her.

"I need to take a shower."

"Shower? Right now?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"I feel dirty." Her voice is dead. She walks into the bathroom. I sit in front of the bathroom door, on the bed. In case, she needs me or something. I just stay there. I hear the shower running, but it's an odd sound. I put my ear against the door and hear Siya crying. My heart explodes. This is too much to take. How has she managed to survive? She comes out of the shower, with a towel around her body. Water dripping from her hair. Before I can get up and leave, to give her some privacy to change her clothes, she comes and sits on my lap. Straddling me. I look at her. I know the look in her eyes.

"You sure?" I ask her.

"Please."

"Siya, it's okay. You don't have to."

"I need you to touch me, Kabir. The soap and water didn't help. I need you to conceal his touch. Please." She says. I didn't want to touch her before marriage. I didn't want her to feel used or anything. But, if she needs it, I don't care about anything else. I pull her close to me and hold the side of her face. I kiss the tip of her nose and the sides of her lips twitch in a faint smile. I come closer and our faces are just inches apart. I slowly and carefully kiss her. She closes her eyes and so do I. She slides her tongue into my mouth and we get lost in each other. I glide my tongue across her wet lips, her fingers get lost in my hair. She tries to push her mouth further into mine. I let her. We passionately kiss each other. So, deeply, so passionately, so furiously that it hurts. I pull away from the kiss and bite her lower lip gently. She moans my name in response. I swipe and lick down her neck. I kiss every inch of her neck. She breathes heavily. I need a minute. And so does she. I nuzzle my face into her neck. I gently keep kissing below her ear. She's phenomenally beautiful. It feels like god sent her to earth as a gift from heaven. But, we, being humans, have always exploited the gifts of God. Be it nature, be it wildlife, be it resources, be it women. We've always harmed them. I wish things weren't like this, I wish people would worship these gifts the way they deserve to be worshipped. I lay Siya on the bed and touch her, kiss her, I tell her that she doesn't deserve the pain she's going through, I tell her that she's not just strong, she's mighty. I wipe away the touch Vivaan left on her body. I can't call this a make-out or sex or pleasure. Today was the night of confessions, of affirmations, of us. I lie down beside Siya and cover her naked body with a bed sheet. She's too exhausted to wear clothes. She puts her head on my chest, she's disturbed. She's shocked. I don't want her to break. She can't break. She keeps murmuring things against my chest. I feel her tears soak my shirt, they feel like acid on my chest. They burn me. I wonder how much they must be burning her. I wrap my arm around her bare shoulder.

"I'm not an object."

"Why does all this happen to me?"

"What's my fault?"

"I'm not someone's property."

"I feel, Kabir. I have a heart. I have a soul. Why am I treated this way?"

"Should I end my life? No, Siya. You have to live, you have to live for Myra."

"You said that I'm strong. But, does that mean that I have to suffer against all this forever?"

"I don't like being touched like that."

"I don't like getting raped."

"I don't like getting abused." Her words come like knives to every inch of my body. They sting like needles.

"Should I give up? Or all this is going to end soon?" She doesn't say anything after this. I realise that she's expecting an answer to the last question. With a heavy heart, I reply.

"Everything is going to be good soon. Very soon." I doubt that. She believes me.

"Okay." She simply replies and falls asleep. I feel dead. I feel horrible. I feel like shit. What has life done to her? Why? Why does pain come to people who don't even deserve it? I come out of the room and go to the hall. I find Myra sitting on the sofa. Her feet hanging at the edge. I walk over to her, I walk over to my angel. I sit down on the floor and rest my head on her tiny lap. I breathe. I breathe. And I breathe again. I can't. I break down. I badly break down in Myra's lap. My hands are snaked around her waist and my face is hidden in her lap. I cry. I haven't cried in years, I guess. I don't even remember the last time I cried. I am in a lot of pain, in a lot of regrets, in a lot of shit. Myra keeps her hand on my head and the other hand rubs my back. I feel better. Weird. But, I feel better. She is an angel, after all.

"Don't worry Kabir. Mumma can do it. She will take us out of this. She's strong." She tells me. I look at those beautiful pair of brown eyes which shine with wisdom.

"You're right, Mumma is very strong."

"Come here." She opens her tiny arms. I hug her, she comforts me by patting my back. I smile. She has got an awesome upbringing.

"Mumma says that a hug helps when we feel low. Are you feeling any better?" She sounds concerned. I kiss her forehead.

"Much better." I smile.

"Good." She says.