HOLDING YOU

CHAPTER 14- Parting Ways...

♡ Can I get a kiss?
And can you make it last forever?
I said, I'm 'bout to go to war (Uh-huh)
And I don't know if I'ma see you again♡

-SIYA-

T

wo years later...

I'm an emotional mess right now... I can't believe that it's been four years since I joined IIM and we're standing here as graduates!!! Today is the last day of college and most of us would get busy with our lives and careers, never to see each other again. My head is on Kabir's chest, Ava is holding my hand and Gaurav is rubbing my back. I don't want to lose this. This phase, these memories and these people. We all have our degrees and everyone is in their graduation attire... My parents couldn't make it because dad is facing some problems in the business. Once, the celebration is over, we all head back to our respective rooms. Which each step Kabir and I take towards our room, my fear of him leaving tomorrow for London for one year straight gets magnified. My breath hitches, and I hold on tightly to his hand while walking and keep staring at the floor. I don't have a good feeling about this. Can't we do something else? My intuitions and my brain are battling each other. My intuition says that this isn't going to end well and my brain says that everything will go as planned, I'm just overthinking this. We go into the room. Our stuff is neatly packed, we are all separating tomorrow. Kabir is going to London. Gaurav is going to The United States. Ava will go to Mumbai and I'm going back to Delhi.

We discuss and re-discuss, plan and replan. He assures me that he'll come back. And I assure him that I'll talk to my parents.

It's nine right now. Kabir has to leave for the airport at ten. I don't see him for a year after this one hour goes by. I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, my feet are dangling on the side. My eyes are moist. I'm crying. I'm scared. I don't want him to go away, forget a year, not even for a minute. I cry silently, I don't want him to know that I'm crying. He's in the washroom. I hear the door open and quickly run my hand through my face, wiping my tears. Kabir should not be thinking about me right now. He should focus on his career. He walks over to me. I keep looking at the floor because I know that my eyes are red and I'll brutally break down at the sight of him. I'm just praying that he doesn't notice my behaviour. But, the privacy-invading group chat is on fire. He knows... He always knows.

"Siya, look at me." He says, placing a hand under my chin.

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not." He lifts my head. He winces at the sight of my face as if someone stabbed his heart.

"I said I'm okay. Just a bit emotional."

"Who the fuck are you fooling? Me or yourself?" He says. I pull him close and wrap my arms around his waist. My head is on his stomach and I'm crying.

"I... I'm... I'm scared Kabir, I don't want to lose you. I... I can't afford to lose this... To lose us." I stammer.

"You're never losing me, Siya. I'm yours. Forever. Nobody and nothing can take you away from me. Time, situation, people, nothing. You're mine and that's all you need to know." He sits on his knees, cups my face with his hands and wipes my tears with his thumb. He looks at my face as if trying to absorb the look forever in his head. Kabir comes close to me and he's still looking into my eyes. I close my eyes. I don't need to look at him. I have to feel him. Every inch of him. As if it's the last time. He kisses my lips gently and we start laying back. He climbs on top of me and I open my mouth, his tongue slides in and meets mine. This is the most attentive I've been to moments like these. I can't afford to get lost in him today, I can't afford to forget this, these moments are the memories I'll have to live with till Kabir comes back. I have to remember them, I have to keep them. Kabir pulls away from the kiss and pulls me up to sit. He takes off his t-shirt and takes off my top and my jeans. I'm in my underwear right now. He throws me back on the bed and leaves a long trail of kisses down my body.