Welcome to the world of hell (DSMP)

chapter 35 (anger)

I wake up on techno's shoulder again. I guess I fell asleep.
"...
good morning to you too, techno!"
y/n snuggles up into the non-existing person.

"hmm? where are you going techno? why are you fading?"
they held techno's hand in between both of their hands. techno was slowly fading with a weak smile plastered on his face.

y/n's blood somewhat boiled over the already sad feeling deep inside. they didn't want what his family said to be true. they still didn't want to except that he was dead. but now, the only figment of their imagination about them..was gone. erased.

"y/n! hey, are you okay?"
fundy asked while I was walking through the forest. I just wanted to be by myself.
"have you seen techno lately. I still need to kill hi-"
"can you just shut the fuck up! don't talk about techno around me."
"what? are you okay? you have been acting weird after you got revived. did techno hurt you or something?"
"I said shut the fuck up about him."
my voice was getting dangerously low.

I didn't want to deal with this furry fucker. he is still trying to kill him. you would think that he would get the news already.
"I'm just trying to ask a question."
he mumbles.
"your a dumb bitch. honestly, you would think that the killers would know everything about them that would help kill their target. know that they are fucking dead!"
"what?"

I start to slightly giggle like a maniac.
"he's fucking dead you idiot! the one person that I loved, he is fucking dead.."
my eyes streamed out with tears. I started to walk away.
"y/n, wait!"
"fuck off."

I couldn't deal with his shit. I would probably just lock myself in my room again. I did feel kinda bad. no. I shouldn't. he should be the one that knows that his target is dead!

I made it back to my room. lucky was at ranboo's again. I needed to stay in here before I hurt anyone else. there was a gentle knock on my door.

the door was pushed open while I stared blankly through my window.
"is everything alright, mate? fundy said that you seemed pissed."
it was Philza. it was nice to hear his voice after isolating myself for a few months in my room and with a figment of my imagination with a voice.

I hummed in response to his question. he patted my back in a comforting way. I spun my body around and cried into his bodysuit. I guess I knocked him down since we were both on the floor a few seconds later.

I hugged him as tight as I can. he was the best father figure anyone could ask for. he slowly crept his wing to my back in a protective way. a way that was still solace.

"going through the phase of anger. it's going to be fine, mate. it took us a while to get over him as well. you've been having it harder. Trust me, it's been hard for me too. he was my favourite son of them all,"

I start to giggle at his statement.
"feeling better now?"
I nod my head.
"thank you.."
I hug him one last time before left.

***

I shot awake. a feeling of rage took over me. I dicide to run. run far away. why did I feel so mad?

I stopped running at a grave. a small grave at the perfect timing. there was a sunset. it was mostly a hot pink colour.

"why? why did you need to leave, techno? are you doing this to tease me. am I just like your puppet?"
I felt so betrayed again. why does this keep happening. everyone that I fall in love with. it always ends up with them dying.

my vision was covered. I couldn't see anything. once I recollected my view, I saw that I was being held back by Tommy and wilbur. they were both in tears. their father, phillza, stood in front of me. he was on the break of tears as well.

what happened? he looked worried.
"y/n, I know you're pissed, but why did you do that?"
phillza asked me. what? I can't remember anything.
"w-what did I do?"
I asked genuinely confused.

"don't act dumb! you know what you fucking did!"
I look behind me to see Tommy. he yelled that.
"but I don't know what I did. all I remember is at techno's grave and the sunset was pink. then my vision went blurry."

"stop lying!"
"but I'm not.."
I look to the ground. Tommy and wilbur let me go.
"tommy! calm down. they're telling the truth."
I look back behind me to see that wilbur was defending me.

the two brothers bicker as I got up. Philza also got up and turned his body to look at techno's grave. I did the same..

"wh-what happened?"
"we can fix it, don't worry."
"did I do this? I-I didn't mean to!"
the two boys stop bickering as I look down to my bloody fists.

"I know. it's fine."
"no. how is this fine? I fucking punched his tombstone and broke it."
"dont blame yourself, that wasn't you, darling. we know you well. it was just some bottled up emotions getting the best of you."

"no. it's not the emotions. it was all me.."
I look behind me and stared right through wilbur.

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fuck me. no wait! don't actually! you don't know where I live. I'm overreacting. anyways, I've been procrastinating again. I didn't really know what to do for this chapter. I'm still pretty proud of it tbh. uhh. what's the next stage again? oh yeah. bargaining. how am I supposed to do that? can I just skip it and do depression? yeah. that what I'm going to do. I'm too stupid for that shit anyways.