When LOVE is not Enough

Chapter 1 - Axel

13 years ago...

We both stared at the positive sign on the pregnancy test, my heart was beating so fast because the excitement that I had was just off this world. When I turned to the love of my life she was just quiet, her face not showing any emotion. It scared the crap out of me. It's not like we were in high school, we are graduating college in three months and both of us already knew what we were going to do. I had already submitted my applications for grants that will allow me to start my business and she already got the job of her dreams at the most famous art gallery in the country. "Rachel, what's wrong? Say something...", I asked her while kneeling in front of her. Tears started falling from her eyes and at this point, I was even more scared. "Talk to me please, this is a good thing. I know we can do this, we didn't plan it but I know it's not a big deal. Think about it. Having a little you and me walking around and making noises or better yet, sleeping like a spider just like her mummy", I said and I heard her sweet giggle, that was better. "You're crazy", she said while wiping her tears away. I smiled nodding my head agreeing with her. It was not a secret all our friends knew how crazy I was over my girlfriend. Some even wanted to be us. "We got this right?", she asked again as if not sure if she should be happy about the discovery. I held her face in my hands making sure we had eye contact. "We got this my love", I said and pulled her in a kiss that I know drove her crazy every single time.

"Ok parents to be, that tiny thing over there is your little one. So far I see that everything is ok, the nurse will give you the needed supplements for you to start with then we will arrange for you to start clinic. We can do once every four weeks then reduce the time as we progress", the Doctor explained after doing all the necessary tests. Since we were going to start final exams we didn't want to risk anything. I was hell-bent on making sure everything with Rachel and the baby is on point. "You should take one of each once a day ok?", the nurse said as she handed the supplements over to us.

We went back to our usual routine or at least tried to. Rachel kept having crazy cravings and wouldn't want me anywhere near any other woman, not even our friends. I found myself explaining things to them over and over every time she did something so that they wouldn't hate her or think she is doing or saying mean stuff on purpose. That kinda helped. We graduated and finally stepped into the real world.

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Months passed and I found myself jobless because all my grants applications got rejected, Rachel had to take care of me and our baby as well. I felt useless and decided to start applying for random jobs just to help her out with everything. Every time I applied for a job I got the same answer 'Not Qualified', it made me angrier. "Axel it's going to be ok, just don't lose hope besides I make enough for us so please stop beating yourself up ok?", Rachel said to me when she woke up one night and I wasn't in bed with her, I couldn't sleep. The baby was going to be here anytime now and I couldn't even afford a diaper, some father I was going to be. I was brought back to reality when I got pulled to her sweet lips. The kiss was so full of emotions that made me feel like I could do anything. I pulled her closer and gave her all that I have, hoping it will be enough because I was so not deserving of her. "I love you baby mama", I said with a smile. Her face lit up pulling me into another kiss then she said, "I love you more but am craving ice cream, you want some?". "Yes Ma'am", I replied playfully allowing her to pull me to the kitchen. "Rachel, I don't deserve you", I said while giving her the ice cream container and a spoon. It was obvious that pineapple ice cream was more important to her than my words and I knew better than to come between them so I kissed her forehead and joined the fun.

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"Congratulations! You're having a baby girl", the Doctor told us making us do a happy dance. She shook her head with a smile on her face. "Another Rachel, how did I get this lucky", I said pulling her in for a kiss totally forgetting where we were until the Doctor cleared her throat. Rachel was as red as a tomato and I didn't care.

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I've finally got a job, I was happy. I knew my dream will take a while so I had to do what I could. I was a financial advisor to an architectural company and I was good in math, so that kind of helped. Finally, I was contributing to the family. It was not much but I was happy and so was Rachel. She encouraged me to work harder and I did. She even did shopping for my first-ever work clothes. My love for her grew every single day.

I was having some coffee at the office when I got the call from Rachel's office. Her water just broke and they were taking her to the hospital. I told my supervisor who literally pushed me out of the office, she was very nice to me and that was the advantage I needed.

I reached the hospital in record time finding them at the check-in table. There was something about the way her coworkers looked at me that made me feel out of place but I was not going to dwell on it now. I had to be there for my girls first. We were taken to the labour room and the things that I saw were just remarkable, all I can say is, I respect every woman that can do what I saw my Rachel do in that labour room. I heard her tiny voice cry when she was out in the real world; it was music to my ears. The doctor places her on Rachel's sweaty chest. "Welcome to the world Allison", Rachel whispered to her. I kissed Rachel's lips and then Allison's tiny forehead. My family.