My Autistic Husband with Scholar Syndrome✔️

39.A Gift For Victory

Jungkook clearly knew all the characteristics of his own condition, he had seen many doctors since he was a child, he also had read a lot of books in this area, he can even accurately recite the various reactions that autistic people would have during their onsets, however, whenever this symptoms appears, his brain would be muddled. His right brain would be telling him that he should stop repeating those sentences, but on the other hand, his left brain would act as if it had its own initiative.

Jungkook sometimes hated the rationality of his right brain. When he was triggered, he even wished that his right brain's reasoning would cease to exist. Like this, he wouldn't feel guilty every time he came back to his senses, he wouldn't be afraid of the possibility that Lisa would loathe him either.

"I clearly wanted to make you happy by going to the company to find you. Since you blame me, then I won't go to find you anymore."

Lisa was still talking, and every word she said made Jungkook feel uncomfortable. This discomfort gradually prevailed, helping his right brain to suppress the behavior of the left brain, and Jungkook's urge to repeat those sentences gradually eased down.

"I... I don't blame you." If Lisa feels sad hearing it, then he will stop this behavior in the future, at least, he won't make any noise.

Yes, just don't say anything, just repeat it inside, this way, Lisa won't find out about it. Or just go home and write it in the notebook, in short, as long as it's not discovered by Lisa then it's okay. If I'm not discovered, then Lisa wouldn't hate me.

"I won't do it again in the future." After finding a solution, Jungkook spoke with a lot of confidence, "I'm not angry, you have to come and find me again." He likes it when Lisa went to find him, likes it when he raised his head and suddenly finds her standing there, Jungkook even felt that maybe in the future, he would subconsciously look outside from time to time when he's in the office.

Lisa gazed at Jungkook who vowed in all sincerity, her heart felt complicated: Have I guided him correctly?

Professor Feng said that an autistic person's life path is extremely simple, they don't do socializing, living by themselves, and even studying things alone. Their daily life's trajectory is like a single straight line, and there will never be forks or turns, therefore, once they're determined that their path was suddenly disrupted, they would easily become uneasy. They will express their uneasiness and urgency through actions, words, and all other behaviors that they can use. If the level of anxiety is too great and reached a certain point, their condition can easily get triggered to a break out.

Jungkook became anxious because he can't go home on time, leaving work early and not eating within the determined time, but this level of anxiety still wasn't enough to make him troubled, although it can't be helped that it made him lose control by repeatedly saying the same things over and over. He needed to relieve his uneasiness through this repetition, as it was actually a method of his self-regulation. To put it more seriously, he was actually treating himself.

However, right now, Jungkook was willing to stop this treatment because of her few words.

Is it right to do it like this? Lisa was hesitant. On one hand, she hoped that Jungkook can become better, even a little bit of progress was needed, but on the other hand, she didn't want Jungkook to feel uncomfortable.

"I know you didn't do it on purpose, you just can't control it right?" In the end, Lisa just couldn't harden her heart facing Jungkook's conscience-stricken expression.

"Yes." Jungkook heavily nodded his head, his face was as if he was relieved of a heavy load.

Lisa understood me.