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27. AS IF ?

She walked down the corridors of the palace that led to her chamber, the milky shimmers filtering through the carvings on the walls.

These hallways, that she ran down for more than a year now, felt strange to her. Probably, cause she won't walk down them for the next decade and so, probably because she was terrified of what was to come, probably because she'd grown too accustomed to them to let go.

She'd just confessed to Bhai, about her pregnancy and let out all her worries. The look on his face, when she broke the news would remain imprinted on her heart. He was purely ecstatic. He actually picked her up and twirled her around, laughing all the while. That was the moment, she came to know that her brother would love her child, more than anything. And that's all she wanted. However he'd refrained her from breaking it to Parth, who would get distracted from his penance and would be more adamant on staying with her. The poor guy was already not taking it well.

She peeped from behind the jade curtains, to find her Phaguni seated on the ottoman, his head supported by this hands, and his untamed curls wild as they lay.

She wasn't never good at talking, and had no idea how to confront him, going by the stuff she'd heard downstairs.

"How long are you gonna hide there, Subhadra?"he said, without looking up.

Sighing she stepped into the lamp lit chamber, the smell of honeysuckle and the rosemary lamp wafting down her senses.

It would have been such a lovely evening, had they all forgotten the atrocities of the day.

Slowly she removed all her bracelets and necklaces, freeing herself from the extra weight she carried around. She tied her hair in a loose braid, few waves swaying loose in front of her face. She let them be, fighting with her hair took a whole new mood.

"Are you not talking to me?"came his pained voice, his throat sore from having choked too many times in a day.

She filled the earthen glass, with fresh water and handed it to him.
He took it down in a gulp, not taking a single breath in the course.

She noticed his tired weary eyes, a red tint visible, the creases on his forehead were now prominent worry lines.

He kept the glass aside, and looked into her hazel eyes.
They never failed to captivate him, the hazel pool with swirls of green and brown. He's never come across a prettier pair of eyes in his life.

She sat down on the bed, avoiding his attempt at a conversation, and thumped her head on the pillow, facing outwards do that she wouldn't have to see his face.

He let out a weak laugh, coming up behind her and sitting on the mattress heavily. No words exchanged for the few moments.

"Why are you avoiding this? I know I've failed you over again. But if I could, I would've stopped time and reversed fate. You think that seeing you bound and bloody did not tear me apart? You think I wanted all this, I wanted our lives to be messed up. And I'm sorry. I don't deserve it, I don't deserve you. But, God I love you, and I can't have you acting all stoic with me. If you want me to leave, just say that. If you want to beat me, I'm willing to be beaten up. Just don't give me the cold shoulder. We're gonna be apart for years, Bhadra. Does being away from me, not affect you like it does me? Tell me this is not a one sided pain? How can you be this unwary of this? Goddamn it!"he shrieked, his voice full of a hurt.

Hot heavy tears rolled down her face, wetting the pillow on which she lay.
Her body shook with silent sobs and she clutched onto the bedding.