Kiss me and I'm yours - A Severus Snape story

Chapter 45: The ministry has fallen

After Dumbledore's death the world seemed too dark to be true. Voldemort was, of course, pleased by the success of the mission and for once, no one had to be punished, except for Draco Malfoy, but I don't think he got punished that badly, since the mission was a success in the end. I still felt bad for him. Even though Malfoy should work on his attitude towards others, he didn't deserve this. He was pulled into this because his father believed in something he had no choice but to believe too because it was forced upon him at an early age. Severus seemed out of place. While the death eaters and their wives celebrated with the dark lord, Severus kept his cold demeanor, and no one paid much attention to him. They were all way to happy to hear the news that Albus Dumbledore, Head master of Hogwarts school, was dead, finally. They were screaming, yelling and so on. Especially Bellatrix grossed me out. I knew now what Severus meant when he first called her a psychopath in my presence. Everything she did was for Voldemort, hoping to get rewarded by him.

I tried to focus on nothing. If I were to think about the Order, Hogwarts, or Severus, I would be done for and so would Severus. So, I was thinking about nothing. My mind was blank, and this is what my emotions felt like as well. My soul felt betrayed by my acting on the astronomy tower, but my mind was all made up and it was too late now anyway. It was the right thing to do. The partying went on for hours, but being a teacher has its perks. Severus and I excused ourselves first, saying that we need to return to Hogwarts. Voldemort praised us for being so "responsible", yet we only wanted to leave from that awful place. He allowed us to leave but before he allowed us to do so, he left us with some instructions to be in the shadows for some while, especially Severus. The second we were away from the Manor, I apparated us somewhere far away into the woods. I knew Severus needed this. He needed to be somewhere where no one would be able to find him, so I apparated us into nowhere. The second we appeared in that forest, and he realized where I apparated us to, he fired curses in every direction but at mine. He was screaming and yelling, crying, sobbing. It hurt my heart so much, I almost cried as well. But I knew I had to let him finish. He needed to get his frustration out, his pain that had been sticking with him for years.

I don't know how much time had passed, but it took Severus a long time to sink to the ground, only sobs escaping his lips. I slowly, carefully, moved towards him. I sank next to him and put my arms around him. "Why doesn't it hurt so much", he sobbed. "I... I thought I would feel my soul split in two, when in fact... I didn't feel it. I...i.. i don't know why, I just... I thought" he stuttered. He couldn't find the words. "Shhhh. It's over now", I tried to calm him, which did not work. "But I... I did something unspeakable and yet it didn't tear my soul apart... I just don't understand", he continued to sob. I pulled him closer to me, thinking this might calm him down a bit. "I... I am just as evil as I thought", he whispered in a sob. "No, Severus. You are not evil. You are not a bad person, okay? I promise you you're not", I promised him. With that he dramatically pulled himself away from me.

"I am not a bad person?", he roared. "I just killed my friend. Yes, he ordered me to kill him, but I still murdered someone, and the worst part is I didn't feel anything. My soul is still intact and it shouldn't be", he screamed at me. He held his hand up to his forehead. He was thinking hard. I was biting my lip. I knew exactly why he didn't feel it because I felt it. I took a deep breath and moved closer towards him, but he took three steps back as I attempted to touch him. "Don't come near me, please", he begged. "I know why", I said suddenly. There was no point in trying to hide it anymore. He looked at me puzzled. Severus didn't understand the world anymore. "I don't follow".

"I know why your soul is still intact", I continued. "Have you ever heard of the Art of taking chances", I asked him slowly. Everything left Severus's face. He knew exactly what I was talking about. He slowly puzzled everything together in his mind. "No", he whispered, and I could only nod and look away from him. "No, no,no,no,NO", he yelled. He walked towards me, grabbed me by my arms and forcefully pushed me against a tree. "Please don't tell me you did, what I think you did", he begged once again, and I could only nod. Relieve was radiating off him, but also worry. There were several emotions visible in his eyes once more. Admiration was one of them, yet he didn't utter a word anymore. He was simply too stunt to speak. My hands were on the side of his face and our foreheads were glued against each other's. We both closed our eyes. "We're a team, remember?", I said slowly, and I felt him nod slowly. "Sometimes we take the fall for the other one. That is what makes us stronger in the end because we're going through it together", I tried to reassure him. Severus let out a shaky breath. It was too much to handle. I had no clue how I was able to stay so calm during all of this but for now, I had to be the strong one. His lips were close to mine, and he kissed me. We kissed for a while, clearly missing those intimate moments between us, Severus took his time kissing me and wouldn't let go of me until he was ready to face Hogwarts. After he broke the kiss, we stood there for a while. I was still leaning against the tree and Severus, and I were still hugging each other. His head was leaning on my own and I tried to memorize this moment. "I consider myself the luckiest man on earth, you know that right? With you by my side, I couldn't want anything more", He whispered gently and I couldn't stop myself from grinning. I listened to his heartbeat, beating slower and steadier than before. "Whenever you're ready, my love", I whispered back to him. I wanted him to know that he can take his time before we'd have to return to the castle.