Kiss me and I'm yours - A Severus Snape story

Chapter 27: Christmas at Grimmauld Place

Christmas was almost here, and I grew excited with each day that passed. This would be the first Christmas; Severus and I would spend together. I already got his gift and I think it is absolutely perfect. Of course, we also received an invitation from Molly, and we would celebrate Christmas on the 26th at Grimmauld Place. Severus also got another invitation. Narcissa Malfoy invited Severus to her Christmas Ball, which takes place on the 24th. I didn't want him to go. Not that I mind that he is going somewhere without me, but there are going to be death eaters everywhere and they just failed a mission, namely killing Arthur Weasley. I just thought it not to be safe for him.
"Severus, do you really have to go?", I tried to reason with him. "Please. Don't go. Just stay here with me", but he wouldn't budge. Lately he has been acting weird. I know we haven't seen each other in such a long time and we haven't spent any time alone lately, but I think something is really bothering him, I just don't know what it is. "I have to. I attended it every year. There is no reason for me to not attend", he answered in a rather harsh tone. "I just don't want you to get hurt". He turned his back to me and at my physical contact he flinched. Lately it happened a lot and I didn't know what to do exactly. I bet his nightmares came back as well, but I cannot be sure since we haven't spent a night together in almost a month. "Are you at least coming with me to Grimmauld Place?", I asked hopefully. "To be embarrassed once again? I don't think so. No one wants me there, anyway, so why should I even bother". "That's not true. I want you there", but he wasn't listening and he simply left my chambers, as if my opinion wouldn't count.

I sighed but let him go. I knew that I wouldn't change his mind. I don't know why he wanted to attend that stupid Christmas Ball, but I guess I had no choice than to let him go. I hoped that he would return to my chambers, but he didn't show. I didn't sleep good that night. I tossed and turned in bed and at 5 am in the morning, I gave up. I got up and decided to take a morning walk. The fresh air would do me some good. No one was up yet, no wonder, every single student went home for the holidays, which I cannot blame them for. I wouldn't want to stay here either if I were them.

When I returned from my walk, I decided to pay Minerva a visit. It was 8 pm after all and maybe we could have breakfast together. She is an older woman after all, I bet she is already awake. Luckily, she was, and we did eat breakfast together. We chatted for a while until I left. She still had some last-minute shopping to do.

I spent my day reading in the library. Madame Pince, the librarian didn't seem to be too happy to see me, but she didn't say anything. When I returned to my chambers, Severus still wasn't there. It was almost 6 pm and he didn't return from that stupid ball yet. Maybe he is in his own chambers? I decided to find out, but when I got there, he wasn't there either. I returned to my chambers. I am not going to run after him, just because we had a disagreement.

I went to bed, hoping that he would return at some point today, but when I awoke the next morning, there weren't any signs that he had been here, nor in his own chambers when I came to check on him.

I decided to pay Dumbledore a little visit. Maybe he would know where Severus is. It was a long shot, because maybe he didn't know either, or he did know but won't tell me. I wanted to know anyway, so I made my way to his office. It was Christmas today after all and he promised me, we would spend it together.

As I talked to Albus, he assured me, he had no idea where Severus was. I was getting worried and mad at the same time. He went to that ball yesterday and never came back? Did something bad happen or did he get drunk? Though, I can't imagine Severus getting drunk. I was thinking about going to Malfoy Manor and just asking where he is myself, but that would mean that I had to tell who I was and I can't do that, at least not to known death eaters. Narcissa Malfoy might not be one, but her husband definitely is, and even though he is in prison, he might have told her everything she needed to know. I wasn't quite ready to "join" the death eaters, but if I had to I would do it. Maybe the next time I'll see Severus, I should ask him how I should act around them. It was clear as day that I would have to join them at one point or the other, even though I know Severus doesn't want to accept that.