Benchwarmer ✔️

Chapter 30

Why would I say that to the team captains and the best defender we have. They probably think I'm petty and stupid now. I was doing so much better. I groan into my hands before dragging them down my face.

Taking a deep breath I look up and I'm surprised to see Cameron talking to my teacher. She nods and pats his shoulder. "He's a smart kid it'll be fine" she assures him.

I groan again knowing I'm about to be pulled out of class. Dear god I've missed so much class lately. "Luis- you're needed" the class starts to chatter seeing that the soccer team's captain was needing me... the reject.

"It's soccer related done worry" she chuckles as I mentally smack myself. A few kids gasp and I can already tell they are stirring up some sort of rumors. I mean they might not be wrong. Why does he need to talk to me.

I don't bother asking and just follow him as we leave the school and go towards the soccer field. Do seniors not have classes or something. I know Dylan is a genius so he just gets out of class easily. I don't know how Cameron is academically.

I hope he isn't mad at me. I just went to the bathroom I swear it wasn't because I was upset. I should say something. I open my mouth to mention it but quickly close it. What if it's not about that and I just randomly bring it up.

Cameron pushes open the soccer shed door and as soon as I'm in he closes it. We both stand there for a minute before he sits down on a bench. The light from the windows was enough to help you see everything.

I hold my breath hoping for the best. "Luis... do you hate me" I stop dumbfounded. "Why would I hate you?" I ask genuinely confused. "Why wouldn't you I'm an actual asshole" he laughs, taking a deep breath.

"I like you... I like you a lot and I love Dylan. I want a relationship to work between us both. At the same time though Dylan's perfect and I'm not. Am I trying too hard to make you like me? I know I don't comprehend things and sometimes I just say things without thinking it through" he sighs into his hands before looking back up at me.

"I swear I'm trying- I don't even mean too. Words just leave ny mouth" he apologizes over and over again pulling at his hair. I've never seen him so... I guess vulnerable.

"I feel like I'm not doing anything right- I'm not using you for your body- I really hope you know that.... I just don't know what to do" he tries to says things but gets confused and just puts his head down. Is he insecure? Even just this proved so much to me. Seeing how upset he got. I don't know what to say though.

"Cameron- I swear I don't hate you. I like you too. I'll admit I was more fond of Dylan at first because I was... scared of you. I'm an overly sensitive person. It's not your fault if you can't control things" I try to make sense as the words run off my tongue.

"It just seems both of us have things to work on" I add and he nods. When he stands I pull him into a hug kissing his cheek. "I know you're not using me for my body- when I say no you stop. I thank you for that" I continue looking up at him with some confidence that came out of nowhere.

"I'm sorry- I shouldn't have took you out of class for this- I just have been thinking and that turned to overthinking and god I'm being such a sissy" he groans dropping his head onto my shoulder.

"I really just don't want to screw this up... I saw how upset you got and I don't know why my brain just shut down- why couldn't I just say Luis I'm sorry I didn't think it through- no I just stopped" he starts to grow angry pulling at his hair again.

"Cameron- Cameron!" I grab his cheeks trying to get him to focus on me. He finally does and I hug him again tightly. I didn't even know what to say. "It's fine who doesn't want to get out of class" I laugh and he nods chuckling lightly.

"It's not your fault. You really didn't do anything wrong. Just because you act or respond to things a certain way doesn't make you a bad person. "Nobody is perfect" I go on leading into a rant as he just listens silently.

"I don't want to mess it up again. I don't want you to leave because of me" he mutters and I sigh leading us back over to the bench. I sit as well and lay my head against his shoulder.

"You aren't screwing anything up- I'm not leaving. You see how some of my family treats me and they literally had to force me out" I laugh a sad laugh at the joke.

"I don't mean to burden you with my issues but as you could probably tell Stacy is not my real mom. When my real mom did leave though I blamed myself. I was to much of a troubled kid. I broke rules and she really didn't like my friends. Including Dylan. Which is hard to believe" he laughs awkwardly.

I hug him tightly and kiss his cheek again. "It wasn't your fault. You might not believe me but if she left because of your behavioral issues then she had something else going on too" I say a bit sternly because it pissed me off.

I know my dads doing bad things now, and I really don't know what to do or how to stop it. "I'm not the best at this and I never will be. Talking and stuff, but you can always come to me and I will listen" I mumble looking him over.

"Thank you- I'm sorry for being so weak and I'm just sorry" he keeps apologizing. I put my hand onto his cheek rubbing my thumb under his eye. "That whole day yesterday- we were in the same house Cameron. You could have talked to me" I tell him.

"I wanted to give you space. I was so scared to screw it up for the final time. I was trying to be with Dylan and just like exist. He seemed to figure out something was torturing me though" he groans rubbing his eyes.

I grab his hands setting them on my lap when he gets to aggressive, flailing them around. "I didn't tell him what was wrong he doesn't even know I'm here talking to you. He's both of our boyfriends isn't that funny" I think Cameron was just losing his mind at this point.

I smile anyways and make him look at me. "Yes it's wonderful. Dylan's great and he has a very nice, funny, and hot boyfriend named Cameron that I wouldn't mind getting closer too" I flirt the best I can.

He gives me a sad smile as I continued to cup his cheek and lean in for a quick kiss. "Shhh don't tell your boyfriend" I chuckle and he nods kissing me again. "I'm pretty sure he wouldn't mind" he chuckles softly as I continued to just hug him and kiss his cheek.

"You're helping me- you helped me when you didn't even know me well" I remind him laying my head on his shoulder. "I want to help you more- I don't know why I'm so scared" he grumbles while I sit up.

"It's okay- I do understand. I got unlucky with my appearance. No matter how I am nobody is going to like me" I explain messing with my hand.

"Hey- don't say that... you're really attractive- adorable. Especially when you're running. You get all focused and serious. It's hot" he flirts and I let it get to me, never having been called hot before. Well besides when I got a fever but that was different.

"I don't know know why the schools is full of a bunch of racist pricks- I really don't. I've also never stood up for what's right either I'm use to just being the cool popular kid that never really had to do anything" he sighs as I just continued to play with my hands.

"What I'm trying to say is I'm so use to a certain thing it never affected how I feel. I mean Dylan and I have been dating for three years and we've been best friends since kindergarten- our parents know but nobody at the school did till you and Anton" he mumbles.

"I just don't know how to do the right thing and honestly I'm scared. It's irritating- I'm trying Luis- I constantly feel like I'm doing the wrong thing and I kind of already tell I'm going to be asking you this a lot... whether you still like me or not" he looks over at me before just hugging me again.

"Tell me when you want to go back- for a few minutes can I just hug you" he whispers weakly and I nod and rub his back.

"Of course"