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READ THE TWS PLEASE
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TWS: Depression, Suicide (Attempt or not), Eating disorder mentions, Self Harm mentions.
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2 Week later
School had finished for the summer, the group had all agreed to hang out to celebrate finally being on break.
"I have a meeting with someone then I want to go home and sleep, but go without me" George offers a short smile, stopping his tracks, meeting each of the boy's eyes for the last time.
"You sure babe?" Clay asks returning the smile.
"Yeah" George plants a kiss against Clay's lips before waving off the other boys, watching the group walk away together, without him. Not looking back.
He had finally made it home, the long walk finally coming to an end with unbearable exhaustion. He didn't have a meeting with Laura, he hadn't seen her in weeks. He knew he shouldn't lie but he just can't help it, he knew he was sinking, he knew he wasn't getting better, but what he didn't know was why it felt so good to see the scarily low numbers of the scales again, stooping lower each day he didn't eat, each time he stepped onto the glass square that held his sanity. He had no idea why seeing the open wounds along his arms brought a sense of warmth, why the glistening red liquid of peace and success made him feel at one, made him feel normal.
He didn't understand any of it.
All he knew was he wanted more, he wanted to be enough for the people around him. He wanted to be perfect like everyone had expected not too long ago. He wanted to be the best he could be.
And so as Clay built on his recovery, George found a way to dig deeper, drawing the same piece of metal deeper until he couldn't feel the mentally draining pain he'd felt for so long.
He couldn't rely on Clay, he couldn't rely on anyone, it wasn't fair, so he relied on the security of his hoodies to hide his darkest secrets.
As the tears roll numbly down his face he can't help but wonder how he didn't notice it. How he didn't realize that this was where he was meant to be, how he didn't notice how the days sped by in a bliss of nothingness.
Each smile, each laugh, each word rolled off his tongue like waves in the ocean. So easy yet so... so dangerous. So much underlining beneath the surface. His eyes pierced through his phone.
2 weeks had passed since they sat around the small table reveling in Techno's hospitalization.
2 weeks of masking his downfall, masking that suddenly being perfect wasn't his goal.
But maybe that wasn't his goal to begin with.
Maybe he knew along he was killing himself. Slowly... Very... Very slowly urging closer to the edge where could finally call it quits.
"George..." A light knock hits the door. Georges shaking and sweaty palms had grown numb, his head falling against the wall he had leaned against, legs flat out in front of him, numbly taking in the relaxing bliss of the end.
"George?" The voice appeared more urgent, he couldn't place who exactly it was.
"Y... Yeah..." George practically whispers, his voice trembling. He didn't want to die, so why was his body failing him? Why was his voice shutting out his only chance of survival?
"Is everything ok sweetie? Please unlock the door" Kristen... Her voice drowned in worry.
"No... No" George whimpers, sobbing into the air as his frail body collides with the ground. That was the last thing he heard before the ringing started, the high pitch alarm bells in his brain that warned him of his limited time left. The demon of time finally strutting its final stance.
"GEORGE!"
His eyes grew heavy, slowly focusing on the empty pill bottle beside him.
How did he get here... He was fine a week ago...
"I don't want to die..." George whispers through a sob attempting to grip onto Kristen who had cradled him in an attempt to form some sort of warmth. The realisation of the want to survive aching his slow heart, burning his insides as his body fought the foreign substances.
"You're not gonna die sweetie. Keep your eyes open for me ok. The ambulance is coming" Small sobs escape her mouth as she pushes away the damp hair from George's forehead.
How many times until an attempt is your last?
"I'm sorry" George whimpers, his eyes falling shut, the brightness of the room falling far too overwhelming.
"IN HERE HURRY"
He could still hear, He wasn't dead... He wasn't gone yet... He couldn't be gone yet. His story wasn't over, his story had just begun, the early chapters of his life had just started unfolding. It was too early to say goodbye. Surely.
"We're losing him."
But maybe the peace was all too consuming to avoid after all.
Maybe this is what he wanted from the start...
Maybe this truly was the end.
Maybe the demon of time finally won.
Maybe he did want to die.
Maybe he did want it to end.
Maybe he didn't.
But was it now of all times?
Was this really goodbye?
And for once. It stopped. It waited. It ended...
The demon of time peaked it final stance.
It was over...
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SOOOOOO HOW WE FEELING???
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THE OFFICIAL ENDING NEXT CHAP!!!
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