55. a bittersweet story

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Adalina Salvatore

I was holding hand with death. A goodbye kiss away from the world of fucked ups. So many painful stories and even more blood. Tragic lived inside my veins and I now felt it fading between time.

I knew I was ceasing to exist. Dying. My whole body felt so light. It was almost as if I was floating in air. I wanted to let go of the pain, die, rest my eyes a little bit, sleep forever because this was peace. I had yearned for this moment since I could remember and it was finally here, at the tip of my fingers. I didn't have to fight anymore. No more blood. No more trauma and sufferings. A happily ever after.

But, his voice was in my ears, whispering sweet insults and demanding me to go back to him. I heard him and those words burned my soul with kiss more tormented than hell. His face. I never wanted to forget that face and the warmth of his touch.

He created a spark, just a little spark igniting inside my chest. It fought and shouted for life. I didn't want to die. Not yet, not now.

I had a million things to do. A kingdom to rule and a king to keep sane. I wasn't done falling in love but most of all I didn't think I had ever really lived.

An electrical shock struck through my chest, sending a string of bone quivering lightning to my bloodstream. I felt my heart jumped at the loud bang. My body jerked forward and suddenly every inches of my skin felt like it was pricked by a thousand pieces of broken glass. My inside was on fire as my guts wrenched in horrifying pain. There was so much pain I thought I was damned into the pit of hell. A sob tore out of my chest but no sound came out of my mouth while a wrecking siren rang inside my head like a permanent bell of death.

I heard panicked shoutings and people rushing everywhere around me. Beeping sounds and the sight of my own heartbeat being monitored above my head. Everything was a blurring jumbled of mess. My head span and I felt like throwing up blood. So weak. My body was breaking down. I was dying again. The world started to spin faster and I questioned the law of physics and the way gravity worked because I was falling, falling. Fading away, so far away. Where was Eden?

I held onto him with invisible grip and promised to love him in every lifetimes.

Then nothing. I felt my eyes rolled to back of my head.

Stuck between life and death. I was sitting at my piano in the middle of a blank canvas, burning pages of a bittersweet story with heart breaking tunes underneath my fingertips.

It had been a beautiful fight as soul wrenching as it was. Everything hit me all at once. I surrendered to the sickening fate of my story. I made peace with the destructions and never ending grief. I broke free from the years of self hatred and traumas as I finally let it brushed away through the ghostly wind. I looked back at the dried tears, my wasted blood and the scars carved on my skin from every breaking points and broke downs. I welcomed into my arms the lifelong sadness and pain that had always mixed inside my happiness one last time before letting go. I pardoned the strangers whom I shared blood and the deadly poison of their loves and betrayals. I didn't deserve it but the same time I understood. My aunt who played with my life and killed the only twos that mattered most to me for her cruel unfair faith in the royal court and Zach who loved me so much he was willing to die with me.

And, Thane. I owed it all to him. In another life, I would be the one to return the favor.

But, it was the story of me and Eden that was most saddening. He was there, I remembered it all too well. Eden Salvatore was the only best thing in my life. He shattered the last crack of my broken soul and protected every little pieces. He didn't try to fix me back together and I couldn't be more in love with the way he made me stronger and better. I wanted to kiss him a little harder and hug him a little tighter and never forget the way he felt against me.

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