The Promotion {Editing}

Chapter Fifty-Six

Trigger warning: This chapter briefly mentions miscarriage and abortion

***

It had been two days since finding about Lucinda. Two days of that piece of information gnawing away at me, like a woodpecker pecking a tree.

I had been waiting for Alexander to tell me, but I got nothing from him. From what I sensed; they both have a history. I didn't want to push Alexander to tell me everything, I wanted him to tell me in his own time. However, I didn't expect radio silence for two whole days.

As each hour passes with him not telling me, the more restless I got. We're both in the office, my eyes move slightly to the side, to capture what Alexander was doing.

I see him engrossed into his laptop. Typing away at his desks. My eyes are moved back to its original place, I stare at nothing in front of me, trying to think how I would want to bring this up.

I clear my throat whilst shuffling in my seat, hoping to draw his attention, but I got nothing.

I closed my eyes and mustered up the courage to ask. I knew if I didn't say anything now, it will never be brought up.

"Baby." I say in a small voice.

Instantly without waiting another second, his eyes evert to me. His concentrated face suddenly changes into a happy glow as he looks as me.

"I don't want to pressure you to tell me, but-"

"I know." Alexander says before I could finish. He nods his head as if he read my mind.

He motions for me to follow him to the sofa situated in our office. Sitting right next to him, I let myself relax, whilst also feeling like I'm on the edge; not knowing what he will say. He brings my hand close to him, soothing the back with his soft and delicate touch.

"I don't know where to begin." He sighs.

I return the motion, soothing his hand. It was clearly evident he didn't want to dig up old memories, but he wanted to get it out of the way.

"I guess she was my past I wanted to keep buried, that's why it never occurred to me to tell you about her." Alexander starts off.

"It's okay." I whispered sending him a reassuring smile to comfort him.

"We met when we were seventeen, our fathers were really good friends, so we were kind of brought together through our fathers. She was my first in all things to do with love. When my father died, she was there for me, she was my rock. She made me feel like I couldn't live without her so I proposed, when she agreed to marry me, I felt like the happiest guy alive."

Alexander pauses for a while to gather his thoughts. I study his face closely, looking at the uncomfortableness showcased on him.

"Then it all changed, when she came to me and told me she was pregnant. I couldn't believe it at first, I wasn't ready to be a father at eighteen. But I thought about how she made me feel, I was happy and excited to start a family with her. She never once indicated that she didn't want the baby. She told me how happy she was to start a family with me. I thought it was going all well, but she rang me one day to tell me she had lost the baby. I couldn't believe the words coming out of her mouth, I wanted to go over to her a console her, but she told me to stay away and give her space."

I Empathetically nod to Alexanders words. Then it suddenly occurs to me, a conversation we've never had is kids. Questions of doubt spur into my mind. Does Alexander want to have children with me. I push these thoughts to side, when I continue to listen to Alexander.