ready to run [l.s]

chapter thirty five

"you said mr cowell would continue to hit you, these two times you told us- they werent the last were they?"

"no they werent" louis' voice still remained calm. his head though- running thought and thought.

adam sent him a quick smile knowing what was going through his head "how many times was miss calder with you went mr cowell physically hurt you?"

"multiple times. as soon as the fame started to get to her she didnt care what simon did. she just wanted her money"

"was there ever a point mr tomlinson where you felt like you wanted to end your life?"

"yes" he didnt miss a beat with his answer. although no one was shocked- simons face fell. his mouth unhinged from his jaw. louis noticed before adam asked him a couple more follow up questions.

"i wasnt able to get out of bed- it wasnt just my mental health as to why either. but my physical health. he had kicked him and punched me so many times i was bed ridden. he broke my arm at some point too"

simons face was even more surprised. sure there was a contract about whether or not louis or the other boys were even aloud to say anything about these subjects but here they are.

speaking of the unspoken.

"yet when i expressed to simon that my mental health had been so bad and that i started seeing my old therapist again because harry... my literal life line was ripped away from me- he told me to shut the fuck up and he gave me about four different bottles of medication. he even punch my wrist where i had been self harming to 'make me man up' "

"what were these medications?"

"antidepressants, anti anxiety, adhd was thrown in the mix. and he never told me what the last one was so i never took it"

"what happened with these meds?"

"i was on them for maybe three weeks- not even. when i started craving them everyday. id still feel a but down when taking them so i would double the amount. at some point i found myself taking four of each medication a day... i was addicted"

"what happened the night of february eleventh mr tomlinson?"

"i tried to commit suicide"

adam proceeded to ask him to go on "i grabbed three of the four bottles... a-and i- um. i took i think majority of the pills in the bot-tle before submerging...  myself into a bath full of water..."

here come the waterworks....

"youre still here today though" adam pointed out as a way for him to continue speaking.

"i-i um... zayn- he uh. he found me before it was too late... i was so mad at him- at myself that it didnt work... but im so thankful he did save me"

***

they were on recess, none of the boys were talking. niall and cass had gone to chemo- they explained to the judge earlier why niall wouldnt be there.

as of right now though, all four boys are sitting in a common room of some sort. it had blankets and sofas. which to them was heaven.

liam and zayn had been staring and picking at their plate of food as louis and harry were just wrapped in each others arms.

"haz" his donny accent was quiet. the latter didnt answer so much as a nod. louis quietly handed him a piece of paper with 'harry' written on the front.

harrys eyebrow quirked as they sat up. luckily there were sitting at the opposite end of the room so liam and zayn were in their own little world of silence.