Maddend Heart ~Ivar The Boneless~

Chapter 56// Nightmares

Keep on dreaming, don't stop breathing, fight those demons
Sell your soul, not your whole self
Oh, if they see it when you're sleeping, make them leave it

...

I broke the news that we were sailing back home the next morning. No one objected and Selene was glad to finally have a place she and Evander could settle. Ivar wasn't anywhere to be found when I woke up but Cerberus who was enjoying the space on the bed. I didn't think he would take it all so badly but I guess that's what you're getting with Ivar. As my necessities were carried to our ships I watched out for Ivar but with no success. Was he really so hurt that I was trying to give him what he wanted all along? But who was I even kidding, the possibility that I even carried his child was so incredibly low that there was no point in even thinking about it.

Hvitserk kept quiet as he was standing beside me watching me silently.

"What was his problem now?" he asks pulling his coat closer to his body. Today was another grey and cold day.

"He's scared to let me carry his children because of a stupid warning from Triska." I shrug kicking a small stone that was laying on the floor.

"That's why you're going?"

"I'm going because my people miss their homes. We've been here too long already. I will come back soon but for now its better if there's a little distance between him and I." I convince myself more than anything as I watch everyone getting on the boats.

"Don't be gone for too long sister, I need you here to cope with his insanity." Hvitserk jokes though I know there's a piece of truth in his words.

"I promise to come back soon." I chuckle hugging him. Looking over his shoulder to the docks I see a pair of blue eyes staring at me.

Like a puppet I walk to him ignoring my surroundings. His burning glare is on me with every step and as I stand right in front of him, his intoxicating smell lures me in.

His arm sneaks around me swiftly pulling me in as he presses me against his body with all of his power. My arms sneak around his torso as I hide my face in his chest to feel close to him once more. There are a million things that have to be said between us but now there was only us. I needed to feel him once more before i would go back to my Island.

I feel his hot breathe on my neck trying my best to ignore the noises around us as he whispers: "I love you so much and I'm sorry for being such a stupid bastard. How can I make it up to you my wife?" He sounded sincere but he also did when he lied to Harald. I just had to trust my heart with him. And my heart told me he meant it.

"Come to me. Whenever you can go on your boat and get to me. And don't forget that all I do is because I love you husband." I whisper hoping he understood the importance of these words.

"I know you do though I don't deserve it. Just remember to protect yourself like I would." he speaks before he lets go of me. Though he's wearing his hood over his head I still manage too see that his eyes are wet. I lift my hand to wipe a single tear from his face. We stay like this only a few more seconds before I take a painful step back.

I smile at him one last time before going on the boat were everyone was already waiting. As the boats begin to move I turn around seeing his glare on me. I wave him a kiss hoping that he wouldn't waste too much time to visit me.