Who Needs Love Anyway?

Part 45

Keith was in the verge on sleep when he heard the doors make a swoosh noise. He and Hunk who were in the room quickly looked up to see the pod opening. Lance's body tilting forward.

Both lunged forward to prevent him from crashing into the ground. Lance groaned in their arms as they carefully stood up him.

"Hey buddy take it easy. We are going to get you sitting here in the bed once you feel your feet again," Hunk said patting his back slightly

Lance mumbled something no one could really understand. They watched as he slowly wiggled his feet and then they slowly guided him to the bed. Keith reached over carefully handing him a cup of water. Lance tilted it back and drained the whole thing in a single gulp.

"Easy not so fast," Keith muttered taking away the now empty cup

Lance grumbled something again rubbing a hand against his head. Hunk and Keith shared a glance.

"I'm going to go get Mrs. Holt and the doctors. Keep him here," Keith muttered

Keith took a few steps back before pausing and turning back. He pulled out the abused letter and laid it next to Lance's hand.

"Whenever your ready you wrote this for yourself."

Keith turned and left not waiting to see Lance's reaction.

He found Mrs. Holt leaning against a table in a lab not far studying the flowers that were still thriving outside of Lance's body. They really were beautiful despite what they stood for.

Keith knocked on the doorway, "Um he's up."

"Oh! Good good," she dusted her hands off then pulled off her gloves, "Are you coming back with me?"

"No. I uh... he's awake now and you go tests to run. I haven't showered since you know," Keith waved his hand around slightly

She nodded and quickly stepped passed him toward Lance's room. Keith took a look over at the flowers. A few still had dried specks of blood on them but besides that they seemed to be flourishing in the case they placed them in.

It was rather unsettling

Keith didn't go take a shower however. He never intended to. Honestly he just let his feet drag him around. He was sure he did a few laps around the Garrison before ending up on the cliff side looking out toward the afternoon sun.

He removed himself from the situation just like he always did.

Honestly he didn't even know what to say. Sorry for almost killing you? Sorry for not loving you sooner? Sorry you probably resent me after everything right?

Sorry...

Right?

Keith hated addressing his feelings. He was awkward with them. Stumbled over them. He had tried in the past maybe not very well and often just got raised eyebrows.

So he kept stuffing them deeper and deeper inside the box he built. Keeping them where they belonged. We're he had been trained they belonged.

So he focused on what's in front of him. The heat of the desert still hovering around him. The taste of salt and sand in the air. The sun not ready to fully sink behind the hills and jagged forms of rocks just yet but it was only a matter of time.

Because whatever happening back in the hospital wing wasn't up to him

Keith could hear his phone going off every once in awhile. A text here and there from Shiro or Hunk. Updates and wondering where he disappeared too. He didn't read any of them. Kept the screen down letting the notifications build up.

He didn't want to know.

He hoped they focused on Lance and didn't look for him. He just needed time. He understood what he did. Confessing a love he had been avoiding only to out that he was the reason their friend was dying.

And he wasn't ready yet

He still didn't understand

What would he say to Lance?

What would Lance say to him?

Would Lance even want to bring it up ever again?

Cause Shiro sure would. He and his big mouth probably would accidentally tell the rest of the crew as a bed time story on their way to the final battle.

And Keith would toss himself out of the lion to end his suffering

"You know your a really though guy to find when you want to be."

Keith's heart dropped clean from his body as he catapulted off the ground a few inches landing hard in his butt and palms. Hissing slightly as rock and sand cut into the his palms leaving them with a sting.

"The hell are you doing here? Shouldn't you be healing?"

It was freaking Lance in a new blue shirt and joggers peeking up at him and shrugging. The stupid hospital bracelet still hanging on his wrist.

Keith's heart frantically beating in his throat as Lance sat beside him looking out into the starting sunset. Lance kept a bit of extra space than he had since they started this whole thing. It kinda freaked Keith out more. It shouldn't but it did.

Keith felt himself spiral into a vortex of overthinking. He had never been this panicked during a battle or a test. Not when he lost Shiro. Not when he was suddenly tossed up into space and found out his was half alien.

No now he currently felt like at any moment the world was going to cave around him and swallow him whole. Burying him and suffocating him under the knowledge that Lance was very much besides him with a scary amount of knowledge to his feelings.

It was the most terrifying thing in the galaxy.

"Your memories?"

Lance tapped his head still looking out into the horizon, "I think all of its there. Still fuzzy on some areas. Some things don't make sense."

Keith chewed the inside of his cheek trying his best to keep his mind still but it was too jittery to reason with.

"Thank you for the letter. Well I guess my letter," Lance continued trying not to let the air grow to quiet around them

"I hope it was helpful. Do I get the honor of knowing what it said?"

Keith winced internally. He didn't want to know. He did but he didn't.

To his horror Lance pulled it out of his pocket smoothing it over. The envelope a tattered mess at this point with how often Keith picked at it. Lance scooted the envelope over a tad for Keith to see.

"I'm more curious on what you wrote on the corner honestly."

Keith glanced down seeing his own mess of handwriting peering up at him from the corner of the envelope. He had kept Lance's wishes on not opening it but he had left his own message in the corner.

I'm sorry for being too late