Who Needs Love Anyway?

Part 40

Lance was alone again for all of thirteen seconds when Keith gently knocked on the doorway.

"Oh did we save the best for last?" Lance teased

Keith chuckled taking the seat besides Lance letting his head drop to the bed, "Ugh I wish. I'm drained. Today sucked."

"Probably because you didn't take any breaks or eat anything did you?" Lance said undoing Keith's ponytail holder letting his hair fall

"I did thank you very much. Romelle fed me a fruit snack."

Lance snorted, "Keith that's not food."

Keith lazily waved his hand letting it flop onto the bed. He wasn't going to lie he secretly enjoyed the fact Lance didn't move his hand away from his hair. Even if he was tugging annoyingly the tips. Keith finally turned his head slightly to look at Lance.

"You hair isn't even a mullet anymore it's just long."

"I don't want to cut it."

"Is there a reason?"

"Not really," Keith shrugged as Lance combed his fingers through it one last time

They sat in a comfortable silence. Keith letting his eyes close for a moment as the outside noise from the room seemed to quiet. He moved his hand for the Lance's hand that had originally been combing his hair and set it back on top of his head.

He was sure Lance rolled his eye but his fingers began to gently rub the top of Keith's head. Keith felt his shoulders relax bit by but as he did finally easing away the headache that had been drawing out through the day.

"You want a good laugh," Keith mumbled against the sheets

Lance hummed letting his fingers drift toward the base of the skull adding a bit of pressure.

"Veronica was talking so fast at one point today walking past my room trying to explain herself and I guess she got too excited. She went to do that thing with her hands and threw her sandwich on the ceiling. Pretty sure it's still there."

Lance covered his mouth with his free hand as he let out a bit of a stupid laugh. Keith was glad the sheets hid his own grin.

"Please tell me she tried to get it down."

"With a broom."

This sent Lance into another giggle fit. When he finally settled down Keith looked back up. He was glad there was still a smile there that he had put. It wasn't much he could do now but he could at least make him forget as much as he could.

"You have a look on your face," Lance said moving to brush some some hair out of Keith's face

"What kinda look?"

Lance only shrugged and Keith raised an eyebrow. Lance simply moved his hand back through Keith's hair and kept going.

It was peaceful

Keith really doing his best not to think about what was about to happen in just a few hours. Desperately trying not to over interpret the letter in his pocket. Not to mention trying to snuff the desire to read the one Lance wrote to himself still unopen as requested.

But Lance is Lance in ever bit of the sadistic sense

"That you for sticking with me this long."

Keith reached up for the hand in his hair and gave Lance's hand a squeeze. He could feel the slight tremble in it now that it stopped weaving itself in Keith's hair.

"I'm always going to stick by you. I'm sorry I was gone so long."

"It was longer for you."

"Still," Keith bit down on the inside of his cheek trying to keep everything in check

Lance squeezed his hand back letting the weight settle atop Keith's head. Keith really couldn't stop words from coming. Later he would blame it on the desire to comfort Lance in their final private moments. In reality it was selfishness.

"Lance, I promise it's going to be ok."

"You can't promise that you know. Don't put something you can't control on yourself," Lance said rubbing his thumb against Keith's knuckles

"Have more faith in yourself and the surgery then," Keith offered

Lance's smile was only a fraction of what it normally was, "I'm being realistic."

"I am too and I'm saying it's going to be ok. We aren't going to lose our Lance today alright. When you wake up you will still be out Lance. The former paladin of the Blue lion. The current paladin of the Red lion. My right hand. The Lance who always has my back. The loud goofy guy with a heart too big. The Lance that loves too much but it's ok because we all love him too. I'm saying it's going to be ok."

There was a lull in the conversation. Neither meeting eyes as Keith's talk ended. Lance looking out to the window nearby. The hint of the setting sun could be seen just beyond.

Lance squeezed Keith's hand again, "Ok," was all he could answer

———-

Keith

I'm sorry for putting most of my dirty work on to you but you are the person I trust the most to carry it out and keep your head. You are our leader after all.

If it goes bad, and let's be honest there is a chance it will, please don't let me weigh you all down. Move on. Find the next paladin. I left a list of who I think may be accepted by Red just in case seeing Black doesn't want to take Shiro back.

But when it's all said and done please just let my family know I loved them. Give them the book and hopefully they will understand. This is war after all there are always losses even in ways we didn't prepare for.

If I don't survive I'm sorry. If I lose my memory and my feelings I'm sorry.

If I do survive and the war ends if you have time or if it's even possible... can you please teach me to love again? Teach me what I failed to understand. I don't want to go my whole life not being able to love. I would like to learn again.

I love you all. I want you to be safe. Please take care of yourself.

I love you

Lance