Who Needs Love Anyway?

Part 23

"This is incredible," Mrs Holt muttered under her breath for what felt like the hundredth time

Lance couldn't help but stare at the scan in front of him. Flowers, thorns, or vines all cluttered in his chest. All around his lungs and heart. No wonder he was struggling so much to breath.

It was just the paladins and Mrs. Holt in the room. Lance requested not to involve anyone who didn't need to be there. The paladins all insisted on being there much to his displeasure.

"So the issue is... remove the plant and you remove the feeling of love yes?" Mrs Holt asked hitting down notes

"Yes... they develop from unrequited love. So once you remove them you remove the love. You run into the issue however of also removing love in general as well as memories of those you love. This includes family, friends, etc," Allura spoke staring at the screen with a frown

"Well... I know you told me you had like three months... judging by the scans from today something changed. You at best have a month. Maybe less. Give me a week to sort a plan and I'll see what I can come up with. Ideally I can try to remove the plants without removing the feelings... however that may not be an option."

"And if we can't?" Lance asked staring at the disaster in front of him

"Well... I think we can do the surgery for sure. Removing the plants is the easy part judging by the info Katie gave me. The tricky part is making sure you keep the memories and feelings. Its why the surgery fails as much as it does."

"What if we don't do it?" Lance muttered looking at his lap, "What if I don't want to forget anything?"

The room felt heavy as silence drew in. It seemed so stupid. Not doing the surgery purely to remember a stranger who didn't love him back. For Lance however... he would lose everything. His love for Keith, the other paladins, his family, and all the memories that came with it. He would just be an empty shell.

"I don't want to be an empty shell. I'm not any use to anyone like that."

"You wouldn't be any use dead either," Shiro said bluntly eyes still on the scans

"It would basically be the same thing Shiro," Lance countered

Shiro went to open his mouth but Keith stepped forward throwing a sharp glare his direction.

"Look... I know it seems stupid," Lance muttered dropping his gaze again

"You are basically willing to give up everything for some stranger none of us know. It doesn't make sense," Hunk said gently patting Lance's shoulder

"If we remove the plants... we remove everything. Basically it's a system reset. I would not be able to remember love and I would never love again. I don't think I could handle it. I wouldn't remember you all or my family. Not to mention... I wouldn't be able to love any of you after. Are you all forgetting that part. I would literally be soulless. Just like those creatures we fought before. The invincible things. I wouldn't be me. I wouldn't be happy. I don't want to live like that."

His words seemed to settle in the group. The full meaning and understanding seemed to settle. If the surgery failed they wouldn't have their Lance back. Simply a shell. Empty. One of Lance's strongest abilities was how he loved and how he showed his love for others. They would basically get back a Lance robot.

"So you just want us to what? Give up? Say goodbye?" Pidge's voice cracked slightly

Lance reached out pulling her to a hug. She settled slightly against him as he rested his chin on her head.

"We wait... hopefully they can figure out a way... if not then.... well," Lance shrugged

"How are you ok with that?" Allura's voice seemed short and bitter

Lance raised an eyebrow, "you think I am? I've accepted my fate simply because I've had time to accept it. I already had time to understand what's happening. I don't want to die but I don't want to be a zombie. I don't want to be a problem."

Keith felt stuck to the wall at this point. Observing what Lance had grown to accept and tried to get the others to accept long ago. Something Keith himself didn't want to accept. He was still determined to help Lance in every way possible. Even if it was just staying by his side the whole time. Making every moment count. Making sure Lance felt as loved as possible.

Loved

Keith felt his stomach and chest twist slightly. That's all he wanted Lance to feel at this point. Happy. Safe. Loved.

Of course he wanted him to live too. The more he thought about Lance leaving the more it bugged him. It bugged him more how easily Lance accepted the deal. He was ok dying feeling unloved.

How was that ok?

His thoughts stopped along with the talking around him as there was a sudden round of coughing from Lance. Heavy and deep. Sure enough when Lance pulled his hand away there was a full bloom.

     The red flower seemed to glare back at all of them. A small bit of blood tipped the edge. Keith moved off the wall pulling forward a bottle of water he had kept from the meeting prior. Lance took it gratefully as he handed Mrs Holt the flower.

     She muttered things taking notes as she studied it. Keith now on Lance's side ignoring Shiro's side look. He didn't like whatever thoughts were running through Shiro's brain. He wasn't sure what they were but he had a feeling he would hear them soon.

     "Look, give me a week and I'll work with some of the doctors here. Maybe we can figure out something."

     "No one else needs to know who it is... ok. I don't want to stress out my family. I just... I want to enjoy them while I can without them stressing. I'll tell them... when it's time but I want to enjoy them while I can. Plus I don't think it would be good if word got out a paladin was on his deathbed. I don't want to take hope away from everyone."

    Keith gritted his teeth as he squeezed Lance's knee. He had such a brave face on right now. He wondered if Lance would break once he was away for the evening. He wondered if Lance still wanted to sleep next to him now that they were back on Earth. If he wanted time alone for now.

     "Top secret. Got it. Now go you lot. Rest. We have a long hard battle ahead of us."

     Shiro quickly caught Keith's eye and gave a small nod toward the door.

     Looks like he wasn't going to let Keith escape whatever talk he had planned.