Who Needs Love Anyway?

Part 30

It was the calm before the storm.

After the talk with Lance that night Keith went to be bed waving off Lance's offer to finish the movies with his family. He didn't want to interrupt them.

They had one final briefing tomorrow before they were going to attempt to spy a bit more on the operates on Earth. Apparently Veronica was coming along and Lance already wasn't too maybe about it so Keith figured he would let them be for the evening and hopefully they would figure it out.

Shiro and Hunk already getting ready for bed. Kosmo off doing who knows what. More than likely curled around one of Lance's cousins. The stupid thing hardly knew what other humans were and suddenly he found a ton of tiny ones... he was in heaven.

He shouldn't have been surprised at this point because right before he drifted off to sleep there was the sound and feeling again of Kosmo teleporting into his top bunk. Keith didn't even have to open his eyes to feel Lance with him.

He simply scooted over opening an arm up for Lance to hide in. Honestly the more Keith thought about it he was glad he was such an early riser. It would be difficult to explain how Lance ended up in his bed every night.

Sure when they were in the lions and they first found out about Lance and his curse of slow death they noticed Keith sleeping in Red not Black. The difference was then only Shiro really knew it was a nightly thing and he already had words about it.

The others didn't need to know. Honestly Keith was pretty sure if Hunk found out Lance slept with Keith every night he would complain that he didn't receive the same love. Keith was sure it would end up as a giant sleepover and the thought annoyed him.

Was it because he would have to sleep with a ton of other people? Maybe. Was it because he would lose one of the few times of the day he had Lance peacefully to himself? Absolutely not... at least yet...

As much as he didn't like to admit it to himself he rather did enjoy this nightly thing. He and Lance curled into each other with Kosmo at their feet. Keith honestly was starting to worry if he would be able to sleep soundly once Lance managed to get the one killing him to love him in return.

It was selfish... but he wouldn't mind letting Lance sleep with however it was even if it left him alone again

"Night Keith," Lance muttered

"Night," Keith hardly managed back

Savoring the heat and contact that came from this part of the evening. Keith couldn't help but think that this was what he had been missing for most his live. Things like this that he had seen and felt in the whale but could never put an official memory too. These were the moments.

And it was promptly after about a full minute after that thought crawled across Keith sleep lagging brain did his eyes snap open

The hell kind of thoughts were that

He glanced down at Lance making sure he was still resting. He was sure he wasn't fully asleep yet.

Sure enough Lance's eyes were closed. Mouth slightly open. Keith knew a small bit of drool would eventually trickle down during the night.

He couldn't help but keep his gaze on Lance's peaceful face. Something he's been seeing a lot more of as of recent.

But what the hell was all that?

He had a crush... at one point at least he knew that. Even then though he didn't crave this. The cuddling and warmth and happiness that seemed to come with it.

He had just thought Lance was attractive and wasn't as shitty as he once thought.

He knew the feelings were sneaking back up on him. He had felt them the whole time and Shiro had so kindly point it out to him.

But why was this different... were the feelings technically... different?

It's not love right?

People talk of love like it's magical. Butterflies and the world stop spinning crap. The light of the world and only thing that matters. Like they would rather die than be without the person.

This isn't that.

This is partnership. He likes Lance by his side. He doesn't want to replace that. He looks forward to the stupid little things Lance adds to his day. The consistency, the warmth, the safety... but that's not love... right?

Love was obsessing over smiles and touches. Love was obsessing over small moments and desires.

Love was... not this...

Right....

Right?

Keith squeezed his eyes trying to think. He didn't understand any of this. There wasn't like a notebook he could look at. Sure he could ask Shiro but he's sure he would be teased over it.

Besides... if it was love Lance wouldn't be suffering.

He wouldn't be dying if Keith was actually feeling love.

It would be Keith's fault if he was

Keith let out a slightly shaky breath feeling Lance shift closer to him. Lance curled into his chest with a sigh. It was weird that the boy was now shorter than him but it was nice for stuff like this.

Keith let himself tighten his hold on Lance slightly feeling Lance melt even more into him.

This was nice... too nice

But it didn't matter... if this was love... if Keith was feeling love than Lance wouldn't be suffering like this... which means Lance must love someone else

Someone that wasn't Keith

So all this... didn't matter anyway

Keith's feelings didn't matter right now. So he would push them down for the sake of things. He doesn't understand love... but it must not be this

It wasn't what Lance was feeling at least

Besides... love just seemed like a mess. A waste of time and emotion. Too much trouble to be worth.

Keith sighed closing his eyes again letting his thoughts be buried under whatever he could blanket it with.

Besides...

Who Needs Love Anyway