Emotional Traffic Series: Look After You (Louis Tomlinson Fic)

Chapter 30

Louis' POV:

I hadn't heard from her. I was still trying to fathom how she could walk away from what we had, so easily. I was confused and heartbroken. Emotionally, I was shattered. I felt as though someone had pulled my heart out and stomped on it, then set my soul on fire. 

I hated going to sleep, because eventually I would have to wake up and realize all over again that it was real. She was gone. I think I had slept maybe 4 hours in the past 3 days. I spent my time upstairs in my room, mostly because I just couldn’t take the sorrowful glances from my friends. I know they cared, but it just made it worse. 

I avoided my phone as best I could, it’s not like she ever replied to any of my texts or answered my calls anyway.  But for some reason, I always found myself pulling up her number and staring at it.  I had finally brought myself to delete her from my phone, but the number was forever engraved in my memory. 

Memories. Those were simply the worst. Most times when I closed my eyes I could see her lying beside me, playing with my fingers the way she always had.  The way she would drag her fingernails along the palm of my hand.  The way she fit so perfectly against my chest while we slept.  The way her fingers felt as they dug into my skin, begging for more of me when we made love.  

“Louis…” I heard the door creak open and I looked up to find Niall.  

“What do you want, Niall?”

“Harry’s making us dinner. Would you like some?”

“I’m not hungry.” I rubbed my hand over my face. “I told Zayn that over an hour ago.”

Niall stepped inside the room fully and closed the door behind him.  “Lad, you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

“Can’t keep doing what to myself?”

“It’s been three weeks,”

I looked up at him confused.  “Not it hasn’t, it was just a few days-“

“It’s been three weeks,” he gave me an affirming nod. “I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“No, of course you wouldn’t,” I sighed. “What’s the date today?”

“It’s Friday, October 5th,” he said softly and sat down next to me, on the floor at the end of the bed.  

“Fuck, it has been a few weeks,” I groaned. 

“It would do you some good to come out and join us..” 

“Oh yeah?” I gave him a look. “What kind of good is that?”

“Maybe it would keep you from sulking,” he shrugged. 

“Fuck you.”

“No, fuck you,” he turned his head to look at me.  “Look, we’ve been fucking patient.  We’ve had Paul cancel some appearances because you’re too preoccupied with feeling sorry for yourself. It’s time to suck it up, Lou.”

“Go away,”

“I’m not going away!” he snapped and stood back up to his feet.  “God damnit, Louis! She’s gone! She’s BEEN gone! Obviously the two of you are over and done with, so get over it! Join the land of the living!”

“GET THE FUCK OUT!!!” My hand flew up and I pointed to the door as I screamed at the blonde headed boy standing over me. “GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT!”

“Fine.” He threw his hands up in defeat and turned toward the door. “Fuck this and fuck you, Lou.”

The door slammed behind him, seconds before my phone had made impact against it.  I wasn’t hungry, I didn’t want to socialize, and I definitely wasn’t in the mood to listen to his bullshit.