KSIMON•MyMafia•

13.Astonished

EDITED✅
Simon's POV-

I groaned as the light hit my eyelids. It hurt. Everywhere hurt.

Why am i still here? It didn't work...JJ must of found me. I feel horrible. I pry my eyes open and hiss at the lights even more, i feel someone's hand in mine and they jolt up as i had woken them.

"Si?", i heard a hopeful Harry and i smiled weakly and squeezed his hand. I adjusted to the lights finally and looked at him. Properly. He looked weak, horrible, bags as if he hadn't slept for weeks, hair was overgrown, his clothes were wrinkled, and most of all his eyes were dull. "I'm sorry", i whisper looking down. I couldn't bare the sight of what i had done to him, maybe the others were the same.

"Where are the others?", i ask looking around seeing it was just us.
"They had school, we couldn't miss any more or we would fail so we took turns sitting with you with the deal we would do the work here...i haven't left. Even if the other lads were here with you, i didn't leave", he got quieter and quieter and i could tell he didn't want to cry.

It hit me that he said they couldn't be off any longer, the rules were usually two weeks of absence and then we would be forced to come in...surely i haven't been out for longer than that?

"Harry how long have i been out for?", i asked. To be honest i didn't want the answer but i needed to know.
"Three months, you needed surgery to mend your veins, and your bone. You cut that far down Si, not only did you damage your skin but then you flesh then your veins and then you did your own bone, then you did that all over again on your left arm. Two arms, how much pain were you in mentally to do that to yourself? You promised you wouldn't leave me until you felt you couldn't go on no more...", Harry cried out into his own hands and i tried to move but i felt really sore and stiff.

"I had no other way out Harry", i whisper and he heard me and he stopped crying. He looked up, but at me. He stared and thought. I don't know about what but it made me scared. He looked so numb he scared me so much more than anything i've experienced.

"We went out that night, the night before you...", he said loud and clear. I nodded and looked at my hands which rested on my pelvis. He stood up and walked out.

And that was it.

I laid for hours, nurses and doctors all in came to check on me. Shrink after shrink. I told every single one of them the same thing. I was in a place i didn't want to be in, i decided the only way out was to be up there. In peace. But i wasn't in peace whilst i have been asleep for two months I've been in hell, i couldn't see or hear anything but my own thoughts. My billions and billions of thoughts. Yes it felt like two months for my friends but it felt like two hours for me and that's the craziest thing.

They all signed me off with pain meds and said i was in a good mental state but to ring someone if i felt down. I nodded and asked if they could get me a taxi but they said someone was here to bring me home. "The person who brought you home last time Mr Minter", the nurse said, i learned her name was Talia, she was pretty and young. I nodded and thought who picked me up last time.

Ethan.

Why would he be here? Maybe JJ sent him, JJ probably doesn't want to see me and if he does he'll only be saying sorry. It had nothing to do with him but i couldn't shake off the feeling he is blaming himself. I couldn't imagine what he went through when he found me like that in our bathroom.

I dressed my self in a grey Nicce tracksuit, bottoms and a hoodie what could go wrong. I went out the room i was staying in and was a met by what looks like a very nervous sweaty Ethan...

"You ok?", i ask and smile and he scoffs and hugs me...Ethan is hugging me. I hug back since i feel he needs this a lot more than i do. "What's up?", i ask as he pulls away and i can see the tears in his eyes. He laughs it off wiping his eyes. He smiles one of them goofy smiles and thats when i realise.

He has lost a shit ton of weight. "Bro congrats on the transformation man, that's crazy. You look so good", i say hyping him up and he laughs with me and shrugs the compliment off. I could see something was really bothering him and i don't know if it was my place to ask him about it.

"Ethan what's wrong?", i ask placing my hand on his shoulder. I began to worry seriously. "Is it JJ?! Is he hurt?", i ask raising my voice.

"No Si, he left".

That one sentence had me dumbfounded.