Risen- Drarry COMPLETE

Chapter 32

—Harry POV—

"Do you smell that, Harry? That's the smell of peace-" he paused- "and quiet." A small expression of amusement crossed my face as I rolled my eyes.

"Get over here, you prat." My opened arms sat in wait for Draco to come into the bed with me. He jumped into my arms, the momentum causing us to roll over in a fit of giggles.

"Me? A prat? I hardly think that's accurate," he said, planting a quick kiss on my nose. We quickly took to holding each other tightly. I was letting myself get lost in the feeling of getting to hold him.

"So," he began, "now that you don't need to worry about the parks, why don't you talk to me about what's been going on?"

A groan forced itself past my throat. "But I was ready to push it away and have a day with you."

"Well we can still have a day," he pushed up the glasses that were sliding down my nose. "But I don't want you pushing things away. Especially since it's clearly affected you." He weaved his hand into my hair. "You know how I feel about you crying."

"Yeah but then I think about it and- ugh."

I was fully aware that this- without a doubt- qualified as petty complaining, and that it wasn't going to get me anywhere, but I also couldn't help it. I cried, so what? It's better this way anyway. I don't bother people as much if I keep it to myself.

"Why have you been letting it build up? You know it's bad for you..." I sighed, leaning in and burying my face into the crook of his neck.

"Because I'm tired of it, Draco. I'm tired of everything! My- my stupid brain, taking medicine, and now all of this- this crap about the books and I just-" my breath caught at the feeling of a warped pressure forcing itself on my chest. I found my eyes pressed shut to hold back further tears.

"Holding it back makes it worse. You-" Draco sighed, and I moved my face back so I could see him. He was staring off into the distance, eyes swirling in thought.

"You know what? Let's do what Dr Gilroy suggested. You don't want to talk, and if you hold it back any more you're probably going to hurt yourself. So let's prevent that." He finally looked back at me.

"Way to trust me," I grumbled.

"Oh, am I wrong? Tell me, Harry. How many times have you considered hurting yourself since the movie came out?"

I stayed silent, knowing that he was right. It had crossed my mind far too many times and I had stayed silent.

But at least I never acted on it, so that has to count for something.

"Exactly," he said finally.

"At least I haven't actually done it-"

"Yes, and for that I'm happy, but it would be better if we could try to not let that urge build up."

"But doesn't my not acting on it count for something?" I argued. "You can trust me not to hurt myself-"

"I can't help but feel that if I wasn't there you would have done it without hesitation."

A big slimy lump formed in the back of my throat, and though my brain searched, it couldn't find a reply. My bones trembled, and I swallowed.

"But I haven't," I whispered. "That has to count for something- I- that's a good thing... it's improvement-" my voice was wavering, making me upset. All I wanted was to just-