Second Chances, How He Loved Again

Forty

Isabelle

As I reached the beach where Dylan and I went on the night of Tyrone's proposal to his beloved Elha, tears just started falling again. We had a special time here that night. For me, that was one of the most unforgettable moment of ours.

I wonder if he also feels the same... or not.

"Dylan..." mahinang bulong ko at napaupo na lang sa buhangin. Hindi ko na naman mapigilang masaktan. Eto na naman. Akala ko kapag uminom ako kahit kon'ti, mababawasan na ang sakit na nararamdaman ko mula pa kanina.

Well, it turns out that I was wrong at all.

I gathered my knees together while still crying. Yinakap ko iyon habang patuloy na ibinubulong ang pangalan ng lalaking mahal na mahal ko.

I have been a fan girl for seven years already. I saw him started his career. I saw how he struggled for it. I know his stories. I saw how he worked hard to reach the top that's why I had so much love and admiration for him.

I just didn't know when it started but as time passed by, this frail heart of mine also started to have deeper and unwanted feelings for him.

Eto na 'yong kinatatakutan ko noon. Kung bakit ayokong sumugal. Kung bakit kinakabahan ako sa offer niya noon na maging consultant niya ako. It felt like I knew that this time would come where I would get heartbroken by the man I truly love. I just didn't knew that it was gonna be this hard.

That it was gonna be this heart shattering. Para akong tinutusok ng milyon-milyong karayom sa puso ko dahil sa sobrang sakit. Mas masakit pa 'to sa kahit na anong pisikal na sugat na natamo ko mula noong bata pa ako. Para akong pinipiga at kahit subukan ko man na pahintuin ang pagtulo ng mga luha ko, hindi ko magawa. Pagod na akong umiyak pero ang puso at mga mata ko naman ay tila hindi pa.

"T-Talaga bang ito na 'yon? D-Dito na ba nagtatapos ang unang pag-ibig ko?" I asked myself while looking at the waves in front of me.

Pakiramdam ko tuloy ngayon, kaya kong makabuo ng isang buong dagat dahil sa walang tigil kong pag-iyak. Makapagpahinga man saglit, tila otomatiko itong tumutulo sa tuwing naaalala ko ang lahat ng mga sinabi ni Dylan sa akin kanina.

"You can leave anytime you want, Isabelle. I really don't care."

"Then stop loving me, Isabelle."

"Baka sanayan lang? Ikaw 'yong nandiyan kaya natatakot akong mawala ka. I don't love you, Isabelle. I never did since the very beginning."

"Get out of the car now. And please, the moment that you do, you're also out of my life. As a consultant... and as my girlfriend."

"Dylan, mahal kita. Mahal na mahal na mahal na mahal pa rin kita," mahinang bulong ko ulit sa hangin.

"Isabelle..." Hoping that it would be the only man who owns my heart, I immediately turned my head to see the owner of the voice.

But then, all the hopes inside me were immediately burned into ashes. It was not him. Bakit pa ba ako umaasa na pupuntahan niya ako ngayon? That would be the most absurd thing to happen tonight.

"N-Nahanap mo na naman ako, L-Lisbo."

Hindi siya kumibo. Inalis niya ang suot-suot na jacket at saka iyon ipinatong sa balikat ko. Hinayaan ko naman siyang umupo sa tabi ko. Maya-maya pa, he handed me his hanky.