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Normani's POV
We had fallen in love in high school. Like an idiot, I dropped all my friends for him. He had all of my attention. All of my time. All of my love. Making me forget about the ones that love me. Like Y/N. She was always there for me.
Always there. I need a shirt to put on. She always had one. I need a bottle of water. She always had an extra. She listened to me. She held me. She was the best friend ever. I let her go for an idiot that didn't even love me.
You would think putting your dreams on hold for someone would be a good idea, right? I thought he loved me, so that's what I did. I thought he was in love with me, so that's what I did. I wanted to be a singer, but no I gave that up. I gave up my dream. Like an idiot.
I should've been singing on stages. Performing for the world. Signing fucking autographs. Touring. Meeting fans, but I threw all that away for a man that wasn't in love with me.
After high school, I had plans to go to college and start working on my career. I didn't follow throw because he convinced me that if I loved him, I'd stay. So I stayed. Two years after high school, I got pregnant with our baby boy. He was happy up until Alex made one. He started to pull away from me.
He went out more. Stayed home less and most importantly he started cheating. The first time I caught him, he cried and begged me to stay. He did it every time and like an idiot I stayed.
Jesus, how many times as I gonna call myself an idiot? That's like the twelfth time. I mean I know it wasn't a smart thing to do, but damn cut a bitch some slack.
Anyways.
I never left because I had no where to go. I was across the country with no friends and no family. I was stuck. I was alone.
I had gotten home from work one day only to find him with another woman laying underneath him. With our three year old son in the house. No decency. No common courtesy. Not a single fuck given about our child.
"You've gotta be kidding me," I said walking into our room. The woman scurried out of the house and he was just taking his time putting his clothes on.
"What?" he asked me.
"You're in here fucking another woman with our child here. You could've at least brought him by a friend or something. That's a different kind of lowdown and disgusting," I said.
"He's three. He doesn't know what's going on," he said trying to put on his pants. I went over to him and pushed him over.
"You make me so sick," I said and he laughed shrugging. He didn't cry. He didn't beg. He just laughed. Fucking laughed as if I had told a joke. The anger boiled inside of me and I wanted to drown him in his sleep.
I slept in the spare room with Alex. I waited for an apology that I was never going to get. I waited for the dramatic tears that never came. I waited. I should've just left...
As the days went by, I found myself slowly packing up my son and I's shit. I kept telling myself I was going to leave, but I couldn't bring myself to it. That was until I caught him again. I said nothing to him and just grabbed our things.
Something in me wanted him to stop me, but he never did. I took a deep breath and turned around when I heard water turn on. He washed his hands in the kitchen and proceeded to make a sandwich. Once he was done and before he could even take a bite out of it, I took it out of his hands and put it in a ziplock bag.
"Knowing you, you haven't feed him all day. You dumb fuck," I said. I grabbed the rest of the snacks in the pantry. I grabbed the juices, the water and the lunchables before leaving the house. Alex sat in the front seat of the car playing with his little toys.
"We leaving, mommy?" he asked me and I nodded.
"Yeah, baby," I said handing him the sandwich.
"T'anks, mommy. Daddy coming?" he asked me.
"No, he's not coming," I said.
"Okay, no like daddy. He mean and no wan play with me," he said with his mouthful.
"I know, baby. Mommy is sorry. I'm so sorry," I told him and he furrowed his eye brows in confusion.
"Why, mommy? You do not'ing. You play with me and nice to me. You give me kisses and cuddles, mommy. No sorry, mommy. You not daddy, mommy," he explained and I just cried. He put his sandwich away and crawled over to hug me.
"I love you so much," I told him.
"I love you, mommy," he said softly. After a while, he fell asleep in my arms, so I put him back in his seat before pulling off.
Where was I going to go?
I didn't know.
I ended up in a Target parking lot praying for something to happen. Praying for a miracle. Praying for just a small glimmer of hope. Just praying.
