Chances - 1D KidFic

He's Fine Now

Niall giggles happily at that.

"I'll be right back."

I go upstairs to see what's taking Louis so long. He usually likes to help with dinner or at least watch. I figure he's either in the shower or reading something. What I find is not what I was expecting. He's sitting on the bed crying his eyes out, his elbows on his knees and face in his hands. "Loubear what's wrong?" I ask timidly and sit next to him on the bed.

He reaches out for me and I just hold him. He eventually crawls into my lap. He just sobs and sobs and sobs. "Shh... It's okay. I've got you. What's going on in my boy's pretty little head, huh? What's got my baby all upset?"

"I'm a bad parent," he whimpers out. 

"No you're not. You're not at all. Please don't say that. Shh... Calm down, my love." He sniffles and tries to regain some of his composure. "You're one of the very best parents I know, if not the best. What makes you say that something like that?"

"I gave Zayn a panic attack. I gave my son a panic attack because I was too stupid to call home that I was going to be late. How is that okay?"

"Darling it's not your fault. And even great parents make mistakes sometimes. Remember when I took a nap and forgot Harry at school? Accidents happen. We didn't know it would trigger something like this. How could we?"

"But how could we not know? He's our son! We're supposed to know everything about our children. We should have anticipated this. I should have anticipated this being triggering for him. We both read his file. We should have put it together by now. It's why the storms scare him. It's why he doesn't like to go anywhere when it's raining. Why he gets clingy when it's raining. We should have known!"

"Shhh... the kids will hear you."

"Sorry... It's just... he's been here for months and after today I feel like I still barely know him! I feel terrible! He's supposed to feel safe and loved here and not worry about anything, but I managed to scare him into having a panic attack. What kind of a father does that?"

"Louis, you know you're a great father. You know him very well, especially for him only being here for a few months. And again, people make mistakes. We read those reports over 6 months ago. I don't remember what they say word for word, but we shouldn't beat ourselves up about it because we didn't know. And that's just it. We didn't know. Not really. A police report is a lot different from what a child remembers. Now we know what happened, in Zayn's own words. It won't happen again. And I know it doesn't feel like it right now, but this is progress. He's opening up. In the 5 years he spent at the orphanage, he didn't talk about his family. Not once. He's talking to us. That's progress. You have to remember it's different with Zayn. He wasn't brought to the orphanage as a baby like Harry and Niall. He had a life before then and before us with two parents and sisters he loved dearly. That kind of loss takes time to heal. And when you're a child going through so many changes at once, sometimes it's easier to pretend that pain doesn't exist. It's up to him to tell us what he wants to tell us. We can't force anything out of him. He'll tell us when he's ready. It's not your fault, Louis. I promise you it's not anybody's fault."

"I still feel horrible. I made my baby cry. I scared him."

"He's fine now, my love. I'm sure he forgives you. Do you know how much he loves you? That boy loves you so so so much. You don't freak out like that for people you don't love. He'll be okay. I promise. Now come on. Wipe those tears off your face. We have dinner to eat," I say, leading him out of the room. 

"What are we having?"

"Pasta and chicken."

"Sounds good."