How You Love To Hate me

CHAPTER 13

 Mr. Jung is probably wondering what happened to his real class. I think the roles have reversed. Instead of me jumping out of my seat before the bell rings, it's Lisa. I manage to see a few tear streaks on her face as she grabs her coat and bag. I find myself jumping out of my seat and following her home just like she did two days ago. But I'm faster than her, before she can leave the school, I grab her by the hood and drag her into an empty classroom. I wonder if that was the wrong move or not. Her small hands are covering her face and she refuses to look at me. 

"Babes."

"Don't call me that." Her voice is muffled by her hands and her tone is somewhat guilty.

 "Ok...Lisa... are you okay? It takes me all my strength not to call her babes, but by her real name. She doesn't reply.

I know it's a pretty dumb question to ask, but she's been crying for the past two hours without stopping. She can't just be crying because of one thing. She wipes her tears away with the back of her hand, almost as if she was frustrated by the fact that she was crying.

 "Stop crying, Lisa." She mutters to herself as she tries once again to get rid of her tears but ends up failing as more tears come spilling out.

 "You know it's not a bad thing to cry," I say giving her a small smile.

"Yes, it is." She replies.

"Why?" I ask, I want to understand her, I want to understand Lisa.

Lisa POV:

Why is it bad to cry? It makes you feel weak, not only that, but it makes everybody else think you're weak. It makes you think of everything bad that's happened in your life. It makes you feel hopeless. 

It makes you feel lonely. It makes you feel small.

 That's why I force myself to not cry. So I don't feel all these emotions. Even people closest to me think I'm a confident person. Everybody thinks it's better to cry, to let everything out, but it isn't, at least not for me. 

I think that if I just pretend like my problems weren't there and just ignore them, they'll disappear. But they won't. They come back and you have to face them.

 "Why?" Jungkook asks. I don't know why he is like this, being all nice especially after what I said to him. 

"I won't judge." He adds, he seems so kind and open that I just want to tell him everything. I want him to help me, make me feel better. So I answer. 

"It makes me f-feel.. weak."

He raises his eyebrows and walks closer cleaning away my tears."Lisa you're not weak, in fact, you're the opposite." He smiles, his brown eyes focusing on me. 

"Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Don't get too comfortable, it won't last for long."

"I- I- I.."There go my eyes. And suddenly I start crying again, but this time, I let myself speak, I let myself apologize."Jungkook, I'm sorry, what I said was wrong, I didn't mean to say it, I wasn't thinking, I never think, I don't care if you hit me, run me over with a car, expel me, tell my mum, shoot me, but I want to know you forgive me. I promise I'll never talk to you again, just please, please, please, forgive me." 

"Firstly, never talking to you, wouldn't be a gift for me.

"What does he mean by that?"But do you forg-"

"Secondly, yes, I forgive you."What, that easy? Sheesh, I will never understand this boy. 

That day I learn something new about Jungkook, he's forgiving, caring and understanding. Well, when he wants to be. 

"Do you want to talk about it? " Normally, I would say no, but something about Jungkook wants me to say yes like I want to share everything with him like he can make me feel better. This time I trust him to not go and spill anything. So I do, I share everything that ever made me feel vulnerable with the guy I hate. Well everything, besides Yoongi. ( A/N: The school is open for a while after school mainly for clubs, tutoring classes, and stuff like that, therefore students are allowed to stay in school for research, etc -in case you're wondering )"I feel sorry for you," I say as we walk out of the classroom door. 

My eyes are red and puffy from all the crying, but I feel better, much better than what I've felt in a long time.

"Why? " 

"Because I literally just ranted about my life problems to you for like an hour straight. "

"It's fin-"And that's when you literally jump and hug him, you never really show affection to people but you feel the need to do it. To show him how much you appreciate it. By how he reacts you can tell he's startled. 

"I'm really sorry, I didn't mean to-" You start again with the apologizing but Jungkook lets go of you and looks at you. 

"Listen Lisa if you apologize one more time, I won't forgive you." You nod enthusiastically. "I'm gonna have nightmares now."

"Why?"

"Because Lisa just hugged me." You roll you're eyes and hit him in the shoulder.

"Don't get too comfortable, it won't last for long." You say quoting him.