How You Love To Hate me

CHAPTER 41

[A/N: Sorry for not updating new chapters I had some personal reasons]

Jungkook POV

I wanted to get some sort of reaction out of her, I wanted to see her become jealous, angry, or even upset but all I see is a smile, with a hint of uncertainty.

She doesn't care.

Her hands reach out to mine, giving a comforting squeeze as she looks at me, lips lifted into a gentle smile. "You said you didn't believe in sappy shit like that." She laughs before saying, "If you like someone like that, make a move. It's better to do it than regret it for the rest of your life. Especially if you feel that strongly towards her." Her voice wobbles on the last bit as if she was keeping in her laughter, and I have a sinking feeling that maybe she wasn't taking me seriously, thinking my feelings were insincere like usual. "Do you think it's stupid? What I'm saying?" I ask, not offended but upset and her lips turn into a frown, confused."I don't. I think you're saying what you really feel and that's fine." Her brown eyes stare into mine, calculating as if she was trying to work something out. "At least you have the guts to say it, even if it is to me."I scoff at this, "I've liked her since I was a child, it took me way too long to admit that."

"So? You've done it now, right?" Lisa looks back in front of our hand still on mine, though I don't think she realizes this.

"If I confessed to her, it'd just be plain embarrassing," I say, watching her expressions closely, but still, I see nothing.

"Jungkook, you have nothing to worry about, everyone likes you. If I confessed to the guy I liked, he'd make fun out of me, think I was being funny. That would hurt more than being rejected right? Not having your feelings taken seriously as if it was some sort of joke." Everything in me goes rigid, bones frozen as I try to comprehend her words.

"Confess? To who?" She doesn't answer this, legs dangling as she kicks against the cliff. Instead her lips form into a faint smile, but when she turns to me her eyes are watering.

"A boy that I like. A lot." Her voice cracks and my mind goes blank, just like it did when she got the dare to kiss Baekhyun. "I wish I could tell him how I feel, how happy I am around him, but it's useless." Her voice wobbles unevenly, fingertips gripping the edge of the cliff tightly, before mumbling. "You can't have everything I guess."

"Do I know him?"

She lets out another laugh, though I can't understand why, "Yeah, you know him well.""What if it's just a crush- you don't like him that much do you?" I ask, still unable to accept the fact that she had felt so strong for someone.

"Trust me, I'd know if it was just a crush. You think I'd cry over a boy?" She takes a large inhale, tucking her semi-dried hair behind her ears, before turning to look at me. "You know how people get butterflies around the person they like? Because they're so nervous? I don't- sometimes it feels as if there's fucking birds in there." She laughs, but there are real tears coming out of her eyes, licking her lips to stop them from trembling so much. A feeling of dread passes through, and my breathing goes shallow, and what I say next, pains me, makes me feel like I could throw up.

"You should tell him how you feel. If it's your first time feeling like that towards someone, then like you said, live without regrets."

"He doesn't like me. I know he doesn't."

"Well, that's stupid of him. Why wouldn't he?"