Making It Work

Chapter 5 😓

✨Jimin's POV✨

We stock the CDs one by one, I look over and watch y/n humming while she happily places each one away.

I feel my nerves coming because of what I have to talk to her about, I'm so worried this will be a deal breaker for her. I look over at Yoongi who had a magazine up and he peeked up probably noticing I'm hesitating and gave me a nod to tell me to go on.

I gulp and look at her all happily stocking, I hope she won't dislike me for my flaw, "Y/n?"

"Yeah?" She doesn't look just continues to grab CDs and stock them.

"Can I get your attention?" I grab her hand to stop her from grabbing another CD.

"Oh, sorry I was in the zone," She smiles then laughs and just that seemed to have calmed me a bit.

"I have to talk to you about something, something about me," I tell her.

She places the CD that was in her other hand back in the cart and stands waiting. "I'm just going to say it straight forward because I don't know any other way... I'm an alcoholic." I bite my lip nervously.

"Oh... is that why you were like that in the elevator and smelled like alcohol today?" She questioned me seeming as though she didn't know what to say.

"You knew I drank today?" I question her wondering why she didn't bring it up.

"Well no, I thought the smell of booze was coming out of your pores. Now I know you did," She tells me and I sigh for snitching on myself.

"I'm a recovering alcoholic... to be exact" I add on to my title.

"...Then why did you drink last night and today?" She rushed to grab my hands, "That doesn't seem like recovering to me, plus all the times you drank and text me and met up with me,"

"Well, those times I would only drink when I was with the guys and that would be the only time. These few days I was very emotional and I didn't want to act on those feelings. So I did what I only knew best and that's to drown them down," I try to avoid eye contact feeling lousy.

"Oh, so you haven't quit completely. Just managing it. Wait, did you drink because of what happened?" She asks and I don't want her to feel bad, I don't want her to think it's all because of her. I'm just weak when I'm left alone with my thoughts.

"No, it's because of myself. I can't blame my issues on others," I try to explain to her.

I look over at her and her eyes start to glisten with a pout on her face, even after I tried to avoid making her sad I still end up causing her to frown.

"I don't want you to show me pity, I get enough of that from people who I have to tell about this," I sigh feeling as though she feels bad for me.

I feel her gently squeezing my hands, "I just want to know what I can do to also help. I have a feeling the guys know how to handle what's going on, I would also like to be a part of your support team," She gives me a tender smile.

Just by that, I don't feel any pity just warmth and care from her, I feel so relieved and loved. She's going to make my heart explode!

I push the cart away from in between us and pull her in for a hug, "Thank you for not judging me based on that fact, I was so worried about what you would think of me," I spill my concern out.

"Why? I won't leave you just for that. Especially if you had a handle on it before. That just shows me you are willing to do what's best for you when is needed." I nuzzle my face against her neck and leave small pecks.

"Hey! That tickles!" She tries pushing me away but I won't let go, I'm just too happy right now, "Wait, wait... when did you even drink today?" She manages to push me back and I'm hesitant to answer, fuck.

I don't let go of her waist worried, "I'm sorry, I know you said all you wanted was honesty from us... I fucked up and lied about where I was during that break," I lock eyes with her seeing her disappointment.

✨Y/N's POV✨

"Really Jimin? That's literally all I asked for," I smack my lips.

"I know baby, I know, but please don't think I'll constantly do it. It was just this time because I was so weak," I try to convince her.

I'm a bit annoyed because I wanted to talk to him at the time, even if I did talk to Tae instead, I was going to do that when I stayed the night with him though.

"Don't be mad, I won't do it again." He pleads to me.

"I'm not mad, it's just I wanted to see you earlier to talk to you about something," I sigh allowing my nerves to calm.

"About what?" He asks giving me a concerned look.

I look up at him and see him wandering about the possible conversation I wanted to bring up flowing in his head. I place my hand on his cheek to ease him and he rubs against my palm closing his eyes.

"I was just worried about you Jimin, and how I've made you felt recently," I pause and he opens his eyes and parts his plump lips about to say something but he stops himself, "I was worried if I caused you to doubt yourself or your feelings," I look down and remove my hand but he quickly grabs it and places it back.

"Baby, I won't lie to you ever again. I did doubt myself. I had to take a second to reflect because of what happened." He moves my hand towards his lips and places a soft peck on my knuckles.

"But only because I wasn't even trying to get to know you better. I would see you and my mind would go blank I didn't know much about you or your past. I didn't even bother to ask or anything. I doubted myself because of how selfish I was," He bites his lip.

"I could have been more attentive towards you, I'm sorry for being the way I was before." He apologizes to me for his reasons when I felt he had nothing to apologize for.

I smile at him and give him a peck on his lips, "You don't have to apologize. It should be both ways because I didn't even try either. I'm sorry too, Jimin. For doing what I did and for not even trying to get to know you or the others better. I will always feel upset with myself about it." I sigh.

"Don't because then you wouldn't have us all," He chuckles.

"Isn't that being selfish?" I ask and he places his hand on my cheek this time and I rub against his palm.

"A little," He laughs and I move my face away from his hand and laugh but he quickly grabs places both hands against my cheeks, "but I don't care, cause I finally have you... doesn't that sound just as selfish?" He asks tilting his head forward causing some strands of his bangs to fall over his face.

I don't respond and just pucker my lips, he leans in and gives me a big smooch.

"Okay! That's enough of that. It seems you two talked everything out now." I hear Yoongi and we stop kissing and I giggle pulling away from Jimin.

He looks red from shyness and grabs the cart he pushed away. "Let's finish this," He reaches for a CD.

"Okay," I follow along and continue to do my work.

I'm happy I got to have this conversation with Jimin and he was able to tell me something as personal as my story. I feel that I'm finally breaking my boundaries and allowing them to get closer to me. Later tonight I could talk to Taehyung more and get deeper into what he was talking about during break. I want to do my best for them seeing as they want to do the same for me.