Classic Rock Bands One-shots

Platonic!Froger: Jerk ⭐

vampiregirl2131890 Here's Your Request

Freddie races around the house trying to get his chores done. His chest starts feeling tight, then he panics tossing everything around trying to find his emergency inhaler as it was getting to be too much, he grabs the little red inhaler but it doesn’t seem to help much. Freddie drags himself next door to his neighbor “Uncle” Roger, he beats on the doors as he collapses down.

“Shit little man,” Roger says, opening the door the stench of weed and cigarettes perfume out of his house, “You dying or something?”

“H-Hospital, please.” Freddie chokes out grabbing onto the railing.

“On it little nig-“

Freddie gives him a look before starting to turn blue, “Oh shit, I do not want another body on my porch.” Roger gasps shoving the teenager into his van.

Roger takes off the radio blasting Christmas music. The windows are rolled down and Roger’s flying down the road and onto the highway. Freddie starts to be able to sit up and breathe somewhat better. He’s still struggling and he keeps using his inhaler, praying it will save him.

“Hang on little dude!” Roger bellows sending the van up a ramp and flying it. Freddie screams causing his asthma attack to be worse. Fred tried to buckle in but the back seats don’t have seatbelts, none of the seats in the van have seatbelts. Sirens blazed behind them flashing blue, “Ah, shit it’s the fucking police. I ain’t going back to jail, I got too much in the boot. They’re going to lock me up for life man.”

Freddie’s still gasping for air at this point, “Off road bitches!” Run, Run, Ruldolph began to play from the radio.

Freddie cries scared he goes tumbling out of the seat and into the floorboard full of empty bottles, empty snack wrappers, and some weird crusty balloon thing that Freddie landed face first in. He manages to crawl back up and cover his head as they fly over the hospital’s road barrier and land across three parking spots, “Come on little man.”

Roger heaves Freddie under his arm carrying him like luggage inside the hospital, “Hey, hey! My nephew can't breathe and that’s like you know bad!”

Freddie’s rushed into a room Roger follows after he smells awful. The entire room stunk when he entered it, “Sir why don’t you wait out in the hall. Call your nephew’s parents.”

Roger sways back and forth, “You can page them right now. Dr. May and RN John Deacon.”

The nurse scoffs at him, “Are you sure, sweetheart?” she talks to him like he’s a small child,

“He’s right.” Freddie speaks up fiddling with the oxygen mask.

“If you’re wrong they won’t be happy they are very busy people and they have real lives to save.” She leaves the room and soon they hear Freddie’s parents being paged over the intercom.

They soon come into the room, they look over at Roger and Brian’s face turns to anger, “Roger what did you do to my boy this time?”

“Huh? Oh, nothing, he came to me dying.” Roger waves his hand then messes with his greasy nasty ponytail.

“I had a bad asthma attack, I used my inhaler but that didn’t help. Then I got the closest adult like you taught me to do, daddy.” Freddie says, pulling the blankets up acting all innocent and cutesy so his parents would forget about Roger.

Brian couldn’t be mad at his son, he did do everything by the books. Of course Freddie wasn’t going to spill about the high speed chase and the illegal driving, no he didn’t want Roger to be arrested.

Roger steps out of the room to make a call and John hugs his boy, “I’m so glad that you’re alive!”

“I guess maybe Roger isn’t so bad after all.” Brian shrugs his shoulders and hugs Freddie too.

“Yeah not bad at all.” Freddie fibs even more, “He drove me here safe and sound.”

“Oh that’s good. Maybe we’ll finally allow him back at the neighborhood bbq!” John squeals.

Last neighborhood bbq Roger invited to, he burned off his eyebrows and caught a bird on fire and destroyed almost everything. Freddie just wants to rest, he’s allowed to take a nap. Roger comes back showered and neatly groomed, wearing clothes everyone would wear while in public. He has dark shades on.

“I’m going to take Freddie home now, Dr. May and Dr. Deacon.” Roger says helping Freddie stand up.

“Alright thank you.” John hugs him, “Stay safe you two.”

Roger nods and leads Freddie out. Freddie does a double take Ewing the van. It’s no longer a rusty fading banana yellow, it’s painted red with a faux cable company logo on the side, proper plates and everything.

“Come on.” Roger nudges Freddie,

“How did you do this?” Freddie asks, getting into the front seat.

“Me and Diego worked on it while you were in the hospital. It was only a six hour job.”

Freddie doesn’t have much to say after that. He curls up in the seat and sleeps for a bit since the drive home will be longer that they are doing it the legal way. Freddie wakes up when the car hits a pothole, they are pulling into a McDonald’s.

“I have to piss.” Roger groans, parking the car, “Sit in the front seat, keep it warm for me baby.” Roger runs in afterward.

Danger alarms started running through Freddie’s head as he climbed into the front seat he’s almost too short to reach the gas and brake pedals. He didn’t want to upset Roger so he did as told. Roger rushes back out and climbs into the passenger side, “Drive! Drive! Drive!”

Freddie floors it by accident driving down the hill and into oncoming traffic he barely manages to avoid it. Somehow with Roger’s guidance they make back into Roger’s garage in one piece, “What the fuck was that about!” Freddie’s shaking he uses his inhaler again clutching his chest.

“I shat on their floor. I had to get out!”

Freddie slaps him hard shaking still, “Stay the hell away from me. I’m done with you.” Freddie slams the van door and begins to walk home, “If I’m dying I’ll go to the neighbor across the street.”

And with that he leaves, and Roger’s confused on why Freddie’s so pissed he just mutters “teenagers”, and goes inside forgetting about the incident. Freddie never when to Roger for help ever again and it taught him not all adults were mature.