Steven Universe: Mom Swap AU

What Do YOU Want

One day until Judgement Day.

Judgement awakens tomorrow.

That isn't today though.

Today is a day of celebration as many Gems leave Little Homeschool out into the world to pursue personal ventures. Graduation from the school, and moving on with their lives. Steven feels... oddly sad as they go off into the sunset. 

He reaches out into the sunset, longing for it almost, but afraid. Afraid he will fail, fall, and fall into despair, poverty, or worst of all, his own mental illness and become evil. That is the greatest fear that paralyzes him in this moment, along with a longing. A longing for his friends and family, to not leave them behind...

But if you don't move forward, those around you will.

"They're off to bigger and better things aren't they? Lapis inquires, nudging Steven to open a dialogue. Lapis, being as much a mother to him as Jasper, has noticed his distance and become concerned. 

"Yeah," Steven replies.

"They're off to achieve their dreams," Lapis continues, "Do you have an idea for yours yet?"

Steven instantly shuts down the existential dread before they can even begin. Some escape the filter, however.

"A hedonistic life is worthless as pleasure has no inherit worth so I cannot pursue solely my own joy."

"Can helping people bring me joy? No, not alone. It has only caused me to develop a complex for fixing things but there's nothing to fix and I am useless."

"Am I a tool for a job? Is the job done? Am I to be discarded like a dirty towel? That would imply I was made with purpose and thus that there is a God and even if there is a God would have no plan so such a theory does not work God or no. Unless it is not a matter of grand plan and simply that I am a bad person in the right place who has outlived my usefulness. And-"

Steven manages to cut it off there, but by then it's to late and he's already caught in a depressed mood due to the thoughts.

"Still thinking," Steven replies dismissively, "Anyways me and my human family are hanging out at Funland and I'm a little late. I'll cya later mom."

Steven walked off. Lapis reached out to him, concerned and hoping to talk to him, but unable to bring herself to speak up due to an aniexty. A fear that she won't be able to fix this.

It didn't occur to her to talk to Steven about therapy.

However Steven wasn't the only one questioning himself.

Shorty sat in the zoo, watching the stars, the dazzling lights incalculable distances away. Each light a massive ball of plasma larger than any mortal can comprehend. Almost to large for even Shorty. She ponders that this was all once under the reign of the Diamonds who used to rule it under White.

She pondered where the matter to make the universe came from. Where the Diamonds came from. White could have made the other three but then why did White come from? Maybe they're something more cosmic in nature, stemming from the big bang?

One could ponder this for hours, days, months, years, decades, mellieum, and find no answers. Some say God. Some say there is no answer. Maybe there never be. Who can say?

She found herself thinking about Judgement. Is it any better? The Diamonds ruled by fear but...

As she looked up at the Gems bubbled to hide their plan she wonders if this differs at all from what the Diamonds did. It is a different reason to the same end. A different reason that ends in tyranny.