Paul’s POV
“So, you don’t remember Paul?!” bulalas ni Tita Sandra.
“I do—“
“She does,” pag-putol ko sa isasagot ni Aaliyah. “Somehow.”
Hindi maaaring malaman ni Tita Sandra na hindi pa rin ako naaalala ni Aaliyah hanggang ngayon. Makalipas ang dalawang taon, ang buong akala niya ay in good terms kami ni Aaliyah dahil iyon ang ipinangako ko sa anak niyang si Nelle bago ito mamaalam sa amin.
“Really,” saad ni Tita Sandra. Halata sa tono ng pananalita niyang hindi siya naniniwala sa akin.
“We can’t push her to remember everything,” agad na paliwanag ko. “In fact, not everything from her past is worth remembering.”
She didn’t have to remember all the lies I have told her, the times I have hurt her, and the pain I have caused her.
“Oh.”
I heard a smirk and I knew it was from Miggy. I looked at him and waited for him to speak. “You think so?” he asked with such sarcasm.
“I know so,” mariing tugon ko.
Miggy and I have never been friends before, but we were not enemies either. Ngayon lang ako nakaramdam ng ganitong tensiyon sa pagitan naming dalawa. At hindi ko gusto ito.
Matapos iyon ay napa-iling siya at saka binalik ang atensiyon sa pagkain niya. Tinapos naming lahat ang aming pagkain nang walang umiimik. Maging si Tita Sandra ay halatang nakikiramdam sa amin.
“Uhm. Sorry po, Mrs. Rodriguez pero pwede na po ba akong umalis?”
“Drop the formality, Aaliyah. You can call me Tita Sandra,” naka-ngiting pahayag ni Tita Sandra.
“Okay po.”
“Before you go, pwede mo ba muna akong samahan sa comfort room?” tanong nito at saka tumayo.
Tumango si Aaliyah bilang tugon at saka sumunod na rin kay Tita Sandra.
What could she possible tell her?
Tita Sandra wrapped her hands around Aaliyah’s left arm as if they were really good friends eversince. Nabaling lang muli ang atensiyon ko sa taong kasama ko sa table nang pasadyang umubo siya.
“I have no idea why Aaliyah didn’t tell me she has amnesia,” pahayag niya nang hindi bumabaling sa akin.
Napa-tingin ako sa kanya noong mga oras na iyon. Naguguluhan.
“But whatever her reasons are, I think I’ll be fine,” casual na dagdag pa niya. Tumingin siya sa akin with a questioning look. “Do you, by any chance, happen to have something to do with it?”
I narrowed my eyes as if asking him to elaborate what he just asked.
“I mean, her amnesia. Paano niya nakuha iyon? Na-aksidente siya?”
I inhaled deeply and then sighed. “I don’t think I’m in the right position to answer those.”
“Alright,” he hissed.
Ilang sandali pa ay bumalik na sina Aaliyah at Tita Sandra. I couldn’t read the expression Aaliyah was wearing the moment she asked Miggy to go back to the hotel. Ramdam ko rin na ganoon rin ang pakiramdam ni Miggy. Kitang-kita sa mukha nito ang pagtataka ngunit halatang pinili na lang muna niyang itago sa sarili ang mga nais niyang itanong o sabihin kay Aaliyah.
I wondered how the forthcoming days would be a lot more different than now. I wondered how long will I still be able to continue being by Aaliyah’s side after tonight. Dahil sa pagtatapos ng gabing ito, alam kong sasabihin na sa kanya ni Miggy ang lahat sa oras na mag-tanong siya rito.
Maybe, I should start running away from her just so I can lessen the burden I was about to feel.
“Why did you lie to me?” Ibinaling ko nang panandalian ang paningin ko kay Tita Sandra na siyang nag-mamaneho ngayon ng kotse.
Kahit na hindi specific ang tanong niya ay hindi ko na rin naman kailangang itanong kung ano ang tinutukoy niya. It was obvious.
“I’m sorry, Tita.”
“I don’t need that, Paul. Just tell me why.” Her voice seemed to be soft but eager for an answer.
I focused my eyes on the road and tried to think of an appropriate answer.
“You promised Nelle you’ll never quit chasing her,” she added.
Biglang nag-flashback sa utak ko ang huling araw na naka-usap ko si Nelle. She asked me to promise her that. She believed I could make it. She believed it will still be me and Aaliyah in the end.
“But what are you doing? Seems like you’re not doing anything to get her back.” The traffic lights turned red just before we can cross the street. Tita Sandra then faced me but I was too ashamed to return her gaze. “Paul, I know I’ve told you before to stay away from her. Pero sinabi ko namang hanggang sa…” she broke off.
Hanggang sa mamatay si Nelle. I thought.
I turned to look at Tita Sandra and I saw that familiar pain in her eyes once again. “I’m sorry, Tita. Hindi ko alam ang ginagawa ko. Sa totoo lang, hindi ko rin kasi alam kung gusto ko bang maalala niya ako, e.”
The traffic light turned green and Tita Sandra started the engine.
“Minsan kasi, naiisip ko na mas gugustuhin ko na lang na gumawa ng mga bagong ala-ala kasama siya kesa ang balikan ang nakaraan namin na alam ko namang puro sakit lang ang naidulot sa kanya.”
Two years ago, it felt so odd talking to Tita Sandra about Aaliyah. But now, it felt as if she was my mother who was always ready to listen to what her son got to say.
“I know it sounds so selfish but… what else can I do? I just want to be with her. I just want her to be mine and mine alone. But I can’t do that if she’s going to remember everything. I can’t do that knowing that she’s aware of how much pain I have caused her.”
Tita Sandra stopped the car and turned to me. She was about to say something when I decided I should continue talking.
“I couldn’t let her remember me for being the man she hated. I couldn’t afford seeing her running away from me for…” I tried counting in my head. “for I don’t know how many times. I… I just couldn’t.” And then I broke down.
Tita Sandra patted my back, trying to calm me down.
I cried there silently, now aware of the situation I’ve gotten myself into. What have I done? Aaliyah could be any moment now running away again from me. And I just broke the last thing I had promised to Nelle.
“Paul,” Tita Sandra murmured. “You know that even if she doesn’t remember a thing now, she will… eventually. Right?”
I nodded, unsure if I was really agreeing to what she said or I just wanted her to keep talking.
“I’m afraid that your selfishness can ruin you. Both of you.” She then settled back on her seat. “Here’s the thing: it’s either she will remember you and stay with you anyway because her love for you is real, or she will remember you and walk away because you kept your past a secret from her.”
And then it hit me. My selfishness was in no way doing anything good for me.
“Paul, you have a choice. And the choice is quite obvious,” she smiled at me and it seemed like I saw Nelle in her eyes. And it was what I needed all this time.
I took off my seat belt and was ready to go when Tita Sandra held my hand and stopped me.
“You can’t undo things that were already done. But you can always start anew and create better things for the second time. And remember, your choices should come from here,” she said, pointing at my left chest.
I nodded and hurriedly went running to the place I knew would help me think things through—the Merlion Park.
BINABASA MO ANG
Chasing Love (Sequel to Hopeless Love)
Teen Fiction[BOOK 2 of HOPELESS LOVE] Paul had never stopped chasing Aaliyah. After a short while, Aaliyah got chased. But Paul left her. She waited. He came back. But he wanted them to go separate ways. Aaliyah lost her memories. Paul wanted her to forget abou...
