Chapter 73: I lose

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Without saying much, Techno continued reading Kengkla's letters

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Without saying much, Techno continued reading Kengkla's letters. Not a word came out of his mouth, only occasionally his facial features changed. A face of surprise, disbelief, sadness and some expressions that increasingly made Kengkla worried. Unconsciously, cold sweat began to wet Kengkla's face. He began to regret his decision for exposing all his "crimes" so far. Technic is right, what if this only makes P'Techno hate him more. He said earlier that he would be prepared for whatever Techno's decision was, but now, he was afraid that P'Techno would make the decision to stay away from him.

In the letter, Kengkla told Techno everything. About his crimes, about his family, about his life before and after Techno's presence, about his love, about his fears, about his feelings every day since parting with Techno. His writing looks a bit messy because sometimes he writes in an emotional state, sometimes crying. After writing, he never re-read the letter, afraid that he would change his mind and change his writing. He wanted Techno to read how he felt when he wrote the letter to him.

At the end of each letter, Kengkla never forgot to write how much he loved Techno and how meaningful Techno was in his every breath.

When Techno finished reading the last letter, without speaking he slowly began to fold all the letters and return to each envelopes because every time he finished reading 1 letter, he immediately put it on the table, without putting it in the envelope. Kengkla could only look worriedly because he could not read any expression on Techno's face.

After finishing tidying up Kengkla's letters, Techno was still silent. Not once did he look at Kengkla who was anxiously awaiting Techno's decision. Techno took several deep breaths, while Kengkla held his breath several times because he saw Techno's attitude.

"Phi ..." called Kengkla as he felt the air tighten his chest.

"Hmmm......"

"How ... is your decision, Phi ??"

"..........................."

"..........................."

"Phi ..."

"Nong, you better go home. Give me time."

"Nong", a nickname that makes him feel further from his dream. The term that does not have any feeling from P'No.

"Until when, Phi?" asked Kengkla, daring himself.

"I have no idea. Too much information in this short amount of time. I don't even know how I feel right now. Anger, sadness, disappointment, sympathy, all in one. My head and heart are feeling suffocating."

"But I really love you, Phi," Kengkla said hopefully.

For the first time after Techno finished reading Kengkla's letter, his eyes met Kengkla's, so that Kengkla held his breath.

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