Don't Say Anything

72. Voicemail

I want to tell him he's crazy.

I want to tell him it's the most impulsive and stupid thing he's ever said.

I want to tell him that he needs to calm down and reevaluate.

But I don't, because I've thought the same thing way too many times. I just never thought he would actually offer it to me.

I swallow and choke on my words about ten times before he chuckles and places a hand over my mouth.

"You wouldn't have to pay for room and board, you could use any car whenever you needed to, we're only about ten minutes from campus, and I would finally be able to sleep well every night."

He sleeps better with me? I'm about to ask the question out loud when something else comes out of my mouth. 

"Ethan..." I'm not sure what I was planning to say about him, but nothing positive. How could I possibly live under the same roof as that man?

"I'll talk to him. If he ever comes to this side of the house again, or approaches you, I'll have doors with locks put in anywhere he'd be able to get to you. You'll never have to see him. It'll be like he doesn't exist."

"I'll never see Kira and Avery."

I can't believe I'm legitimately considering this.

"You won't see them as often, but you can still get together with them. You'll still be going to the same college."

That's true. They always seem to be out and about, but they're only a phone call away. If I need them, I know they'll listen to me.

"And what if you-" I stop myself mid-sentence when I see the look in Will's eyes. He honestly doesn't think he'll stop liking me. It's really flattering, but is it true? I'll never know.

"But you understand why I'm hesitating, right?" I say and he tears his eyes from mine.

"I know you don't trust me anymore after what happened, and I know you barely trusted me before, but I'm going to do everything I can to get you to put faith in me. This could be the first step."

"That's a pretty big first step, Will."

"Yeah," he says rubbing his face as he starts to walk back and forth.

"Don't stress over it. I just need some time to process everything."

"I'm not stressed."

"You pace when you're stressed," I state.

"No, I don't," he says still pacing.

"Will," I say with a little laugh. I stand up to stop his unconscious movements and reel in his self-confidence. "Just give me some time to think. Then we can talk about it again."

"It was dumb for me to bring it up."

Is it my imagination, or did his cheeks just start turning pink?

"It's not dumb. I was just surprised."

"It was rushed, I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't be pressuring you into things."

His embarrassed little boy expression has got my heart beating all over the place. On one hand, it's absolutely adorable how much he cares. But on the other, I don't want him to feel ashamed for expressing what he wanted, and what he's thinking.

"Look at me," I say in a gentle voice but sternly enough so he'll listen. "I want to, really. I'm already half moved in with the amount of time I stay here, but there's a lot more to discuss. It's not as simple as words make it seem. And right now, you need to get to your meeting and I need to get to class."