Don't Say Anything

32. Not A Good Word Choice

Will's POV

I close the door behind me as Madison runs over and jumps on her bed. I'm so glad she stopped screaming. I don't know how much longer I would have been able to stand seeing her like that. It looked like she was being tortured, and in her mind, she probably was. One thing I can't tolerate is seeing people in pain, mental or physical. A thousand memories flood back whenever it happens.

But what have I gotten myself into? I don't know how to talk to a little girl. I'm not a fucking physiologist; although, I'm better than Doctor Asshole. Anyone with common sense should know not to get up in a child's face who is scared of strangers. 

Madison looks at me like she expects me to do something. She crosses her legs and swings them off the side of the bed. Her hands are folded in her lap and her eyes are wide. I can tell she's not used to having many people in her room besides family. I'm still trying to figure out why she asked me to come up here with her when her sister and mom were right there.

Well, I got myself into this mess by being stern and straightforward. Might as well start with that.

"Why are you so scared of him?" I ask moving to sit next to her. I'm pleased when she doesn't move away.

"He might hurt me," she says quietly. The only thing that's hurting her is herself. She just needs to realize that.

"He's not going to harm you."

"You don't know that," she says a little louder.

"He's getting paid to help you and not hurt you. I can guarantee he was not going to do anything bad."

She twiddles her thumbs in her lap and looks away from me. She knows I'm right. She's a smart kid, but the irrational side of her brain takes over every time she's around strangers. As soon as she learns to control it, she won't have this fear anymore.

"Madison," She looks over at me. "I was a stranger. I didn't hurt you."

She laughs like I said a joke. "You're not a bad guy. Mom talks about you all the time and you're Jessi's boyfriend."

My body freezes. No, no, no. I'm not Jessi's boyfriend. That would put both of us in serious danger, not to mention my job. Jack isn't too keen on relationships, or as he calls them, "distractions". I think it's more than that, but I don't pry into my bosses life, too much. The reason behind his feelings doesn't matter in the end. If I even want a shot at taking over his job next year, Jessi can't be my girlfriend. That would just fuck everything up. As much as I want her to be, it's just not going to happen.

Every time this runs through my head, I'm reminded how I should have stayed away from her. I'm so god damn selfish. I've already starting dragging her into my messes and she's going to be in too deep before she even realizes it. Then I'm going to be responsible when she can't get out. I don't know what I'll do if that happens. But right now, people at work can't find out how close Jessi and I are. "Boyfriend" is definitely not a good word choice. I'm talking to a five-year-old girl. Who am I kidding? She doesn't know anything.

"She's a friend, Madison. Just a friend."

"A very close friend," she says smiling. She's certainly smarter than her age.

"You're bringing us off topic," I say running my hands through my hair. She giggles and bounces which makes me smile.

"Jessi likes you." Oh, so we're still on this.

"And I like her too. But we're here to talk about you. I'm irrelevant."

"I think you need to see Doctor Jay," she says laughing even more.