Don't Say Anything

41. Oh.

Will's way of explaining things he really doesn't want to talk about is just avoiding every question I ask.

"You haven't told me anything new," I say when I'm all out of questions. It's not often that I run out of questions.

"Then you haven't asked anything new. I'm telling you the truth."

I know he is, and that's what's frustrating. I can tell that everything he says is the truth, but it doesn't really add up. He's a smart guy. He's actually a brilliant guy, yet he can't figure himself out? I thought girls were supposed to be the confusing ones.

"Listen," he says as we pull up to the dorms. "I had a wonderful night. I don't want to tarnish that now. Can we talk about this tomorrow? You can come over at three or later."

I don't want to ruin the night either. This art show will forever be engraved in my memory and I don't want negative thoughts to follow it.

"Okay, I'll be over at three." I open the door but turn back to him. "I had a wonderful night too. It was better than any prom I could imagine. Thank you."

I finally see the smile I was missing on the car ride home. "My pleasure Jess. I expect you to come with me next year too. It's a lot more fun annoying someone with my painting expertise rather than just showing up by myself."

Next year. I don't even want to think about next year. What if he still doesn't want to date me next year? I don't know how long I'll be able to wait for him to figure out whatever the hell he's figuring out. I know he has strong opinions on marriage, but dating isn't a direct track to that. Are we always going to just be friends? I can't think about that right now. I'm physically and mentally exhausted.

"Sure, I'd like that. Goodnight, Will." He wishes me a good night as I climb out of his car as gracefully as I can mange. My feet hurt too much to walk normal, so I half walk half shuffle up to my room. I kick off my shoes and hang up the dress before taking a quick shower and crashing onto the bed.

Damn boys. 

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"Kira, do you need your car today?" I ask throwing on my sweatshirt.

"No, I'm not going out. You can use it."

"Thanks a bunch. I'll see you later!" I grab the brown bag with the dress and Leah's necklace in it and head out the door. She gives me a little wave, immersed in the magazine she's reading.

I try to think of a way to approach this conversation with Will. I don't want it to get out of hand. I just want to understand him. I want to know why his whole body went ridged and he looked deathly pale when Matt called me "Will's girl". It didn't seem like that big of a deal. And he won't tell me exactly what his heated conversation with Jack was about. All I saw was their angry expressions from afar. He's given me the truth, but I don't know if it's the whole truth.

"Hi," I say when I walk into Will's living room.

"Hey," he replies and puts down his phone. I'm gauging his mood, and he seems much better than the end of last night. He looks relaxed and well rested as his lips curve into a smile.

Right when I'm about to say something, there's a knocking sound across the room. Both Will and I turn to see Leah standing in the doorway. I'm still confused about her as well. She's such a sweet women, but she has such a warped sense of what's right and wrong. I just want to shake her shoulders and tell her to wake up! But I don't think that's the appropriate approach. Will has given up trying to kindly make her see Ethan from the outside looking in, but I haven't. I think she can be reasoned with if I just get the chance to talk to her.