Don't Say Anything

10. It's Too Quiet In Here

We're supposed to meet in the library the next day. I bring my notes to study for other classes because I don't know if he will actually show up. I honestly hope he doesn't. Can't it be someone else? was echoing in my head all day yesterday. I don't understand why he has such bipolar emotions but I'm done letting him drive me crazy.

"Hey," I hear a deep voice say bringing be out of my work. Will sits down at the chair across from me at our little two-person table. I give him a little smile and go right back to scribbling in my notebook. He looks around for a little bit before his eyes settle on me and don't move.

"Don't tutors normally tutor?" He asks with a smirk. He's giving me a whiplash.

I throw my Business Analysis book on the table but his gaze stays fixed on me.

"Read it," I say at half the volume he is talking. He casually flips through the pages like a little kid looks through a picture book. After a few minutes, he slams it closed and draws the eyes of everyone around us. 

"It's too quiet in here."

We're in a library for Christ's sake.

"Were you expecting something else?" I say without looking up.

"I can't concentrate at all. I feel I like I'm being engulfed in knowledge and it's suffocating me." He waits for me to argue back but I don't. There is no way I can just forget what he said yesterday and pretend it didn't happen. I won't be anybody's punching bag.

"Jess?" There he goes with my name again. No one has ever made by name sound sexy before and I want to hear him say it over and over. But I force myself not to say anything. If he wants to play hardball, then we'll play hardball.

He sighs and distracts himself with his fingers in his lap. "Listen, I never apologize."

What a surprise. The asshole never says sorry for being an asshole.

"But what I said yesterday was out of line." He pauses and I finally look up. I completely melt under his gaze. He looks so sincere and honest. My conflicting emotions are driving me mad. "I-I was having a rough day and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. And.." He runs his hands through his hair and slightly tugs on the ends before dropping them back down to his lap. "I'm sorry."

It breaks my heart in a whole different way. If any other person had talked to me the way he did yesterday and then tried to apologize, I wouldn't have given them a second glance. But him. From the way that he is slightly tapping his foot and pulling at his hair and stuttering over his words, it makes it seem like it's the first time he is ever really sorry for something. I would say that he's a wonderful actor, but his eyes give everything away. His eyes show vulnerability that crack his exterior and make me want to jump into his lap and wrap my arms around his neck.

"Do you forgive me?" He asks in hardly a whisper. I forgot that I hadn't responded.

"Yes," and his face breaks into a smile. I can't help but to smile too. What was he doing to me?

"But honestly," he goes back to his normal, way-too-loud volume, "I can't study shit in here. Can we go back to your place? We'll figure out a way to sneak me in."

"No!" I whisper yell. "We'll just go outside," I gather up my books but he doesn't move.

"It's pouring rain, Love." I think my stomach turned completely upside down at the name he used for me. I should not be this affected by just his words.

I turn to look out a window when my stomach is right side up again and there are in fact buckets of water hitting the glass. I can't believe I was so distracted that I didn't notice that.

"We'll go to your place then. I'm friends with Nolan and Vinny. I'm sure the others won't mind if I come over to study." They probably have girls over every hour of every day with that many college boys living under one roof. I shouldn't be an issue.

"I don't live there," he says as he follows me to the door.

"The dorms then?" I ask.

"No I live off campus with... my parents." He seems to hesitate with the word but I don't see any problem with it.

"Okay, then let's go there." This shouldn't be that long of a conversation.

"No one ever goes to my house." Oh. I must be missing the punch line somewhere. What's the big deal of me going to his house to study? I thought he was the guy that hosted a bunch of parties and brought every girl home. I guess he does all that at other people's houses. But why?

"We'll just stay here then," I say a little exasperated. I go to sit back down when I feel his fingers wrap around my arm.

"Wait." I turn back and look up at him while he runs his hands over his lips. I never noticed how tall he was. Or how perfect his lips are shaped... Stop it Jessi.

"We'll go to my house." I smile at his words. First one to be apologized to, first one to go to his house- 

"But don't say anything," he adds. Ugh. I hate the title of that game being brought up again.

"Why? Is this some version of that game? Because I am not about to play that-"

"No, no, no." he interrupts me. "I'm serious. Don't say anything when we get to my house. No comments whatsoever. Promise?" I lived in a small house compared to most and I had to share it with five sisters. I don't see why he's so concerned with what people think of where he lives. He must really care about his reputation around here. 

"Yeah I promise," I say and start walking out the door again.

"I don't know if I can trust you, but I'm going to anyway," he says with a slight smile.

I'm starting to feel the same way. 

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