Don't Say Anything

45. It's Over. She's Gone

I'm cold.

All night I had the warm blanket of Will's arms wrapped around me and I wake up feeling alone and cold. He must have left soon after I fell asleep. I knew he wouldn't want to sleep in the same bed as me.

The sheets and blankets are probably scattered around the bed because now they only cover my ankles. I have no idea what time it is, but I'm still too tired to open my eyes. Reaching up with my right hand, I tug on the sheets to bring them back over me, but something is weighing them down on the other side of the bed. My eyes flutter open to see Will looking over at me, sitting with his elbows on his knees. He's still shirtless and his hair is even more of a mess than it normally is. He looks weak and tired, but his eyes are still full of life. Even in this state, he's beautiful, and I can't take my eyes off of him. Then I remember last night.

"Did you sleep okay?" he asks in a quiet raspy voice.

"Yeah." I don't know why I feel so shy. "You?"

He nods his head. "Thank you for staying."

I give him a tight smile. I would stay anytime he asks, but that's not the right thing to say right now.

"Did I," he pauses and looks down. "Did I try anything?"

What?

"You don't remember?"

"No," he whispers. "I remember Leah, and the kitchen. I told her to leave or I would, so she left. Then the alcohol and I kind of remember calling you and breaking a few more plates. But that's it. I woke up five minutes ago next to you."

He doesn't remember any of it.

"You trashed the kitchen before you got drunk?"

"I didn't really trash it. I just threw a few things on the ground instead of killing Ethan."

The kitchen looked like a tornado went through it.

"There was a lot more than a few things on the ground, Will."

He sighs and runs his hands through his hair.

"I must have done that right before you showed up then."

He wasn't kidding when he said he gets destructive.

"But that's not important," he says and then asks hesitantly, "I didn't force you to do anything, did I?"

I look away from his burning gaze. It wasn't even Will last night. He had no idea what he was doing. I don't want to talk about it.

"Jess, please answer me." He scoots closer so he's right next to me.

"It wasn't your fault," I say softly.

"Oh, no. Shit." He gets up and sits on his knees right in front of where I'm sitting. He brings both of his hands to my face so I'm forced to look at him. "Please don't tell me I forced you to sleep with me. Please tell me that's not true."

"It's not," I say quickly. His eyes are filled with so much worry and fear, like last night. "I stopped you before that."

"Oh thank God," he says dropping down onto the back of his heels with relief. Fear clouds his eyes again a second later. "Did I hurt you?"

I'd rather forget last night. I don't want to relive it through memories. I just want it to go away.

"You're killing me, Jess. Please tell me what I did. I shouldn't be allowed near you anymore if I hurt you. I won't allow it."

NO!

"You didn't hurt me." His eyes soften a little, but he knows I'm holding back. "You just scared me."