Don't Say Anything

25. Hot Chocolate

Will's POV

I can barley stand to be in Ethan's presence for more than a minute, and I normally only encounter him once or twice a month nowadays. I don't know how I've lasted over an hour in this damn living room. Apparently girls can become best friends within ten minutes, because Leah and Jess have been nonstop talking the whole time. Ethan throws in a comment every now and then and I cringe every time he does. Even his voice gets on my last nerve.

I don't know how Jessi can look at him and smile like nothing is wrong. He's one of the biggest dicks on the planet and Jessi knows that. Maybe she didn't hear me. No, she definitely heard me.

"What about you Will?" Jessi tries to include me in the conversation for the hundredth time.

"Uh, yeah, sure."

I have no idea what they were talking about. I'm too focused on the way her lips move when she talks, and the way she throws her arms around when she tells an exciting story, and how she gives people her full attention whenever they talk. And I'm here, completely ignoring everything they're saying.

"I asked what you were going to do when you graduated." She gives me a disappointed look for at least the tenth time in the past hour.

"Oh, I'm not sure. Probably move out but stay in North Carolina because I'll take over Jack's job." I hadn't really thought about it much. I'm too focused on right now to be worrying about a year from now. 

"What if Vinny gets the job?" Jessi asks.

"That won't happen."

I bring my hot chocolate up to my mouth and realize the mug is empty. I chugged it down in the first three minutes so I could focus on my burning mouth rather than Ethan. It's much less painful.

"I'm going to get more to drink," I say so I can leave. It feels like there's no oxygen left in that room. I wonder what Jessi said she's going to do after graduation. She still has three and a half more years, but I'm assuming she'll stay here. Her whole family lives around here. It's not something I need to worry about now though.

I stall as long as I can in the kitchen before walking back into hell. I have to admit; it's not as bad as I thought it would be. Jessi does all the talking and I just sit in the corner of the room half listening and half letting my mind run wild with fantasy's that include her as the main focus; the only focus.

"I'm going to get some more to drink also," Jessi says. Well, I guess we're not leaving anytime soon. There should be a rule that says you are only allowed to have one drink when you're invited to someone's house.

Jessi is about to stand up when she notices the uncomfortable look on my face.

"Actually, I really should be leaving soon."

She must have decided to end my torture of the day, finally.

"Don't be silly," Ethan says.

He needs to pipe the fuck down.

"I'll have Mary get you some more hot chocolate. Mary! Mary, come here!"

Here we go again. I roll my eyes and get comfortable against the back of the seat. He treats Mary like a dog, but I have no say in it because Ethan is the one who pays her. I should be lucky that she even cleans my side of the house; that being said, there's almost nothing that needs to be cleaned. She probably does more dusting than cleaning.

"Oh don't worry about it," Jessi tries to brush him off, but he's so damn persistent.

"That's her job. She can come when she's called. Mary!" Jessi looks incredibly uncomfortable as she shifts from her right foot to her left. She's probably not used to being in houses that have maids at all.

"I was just about-"

"Mary!" Ethan interrupts her again.

"She doesn't want any more fucking hot chocolate," I finally say. I've been trying to hold my tongue all night because Jess asked me to, but I can only take so much. The three of them look over at me, but I'm only focused on Ethan. 

"Watch your language around your mother."

Oh he's going to get it. I wonder how much damage I could do in one punch. One punch wouldn't be that bad. I could play it off as an accident or something.

Words start running out of my mouth before my firsts have time to react.

"You fucking piece of-" I stop myself when I see Jessi in the corner of my eye. She doesn't say anything, but her eyes are basically screaming at me, pleading for me not to continue. I've already disappointed her so much, not just tonight, but ever since I've met her. I can at least try to do something right for once.

There's so much I could say right now to Ethan. So much I could yell in his face and so many comebacks that are on the tip of my tongue, but I shut my mouth. I have to clench my teeth together too keep from saying anything. I feel my fingernails digging into the palm of my hand, but I welcome the pain. I need some kind of release that's not Ethan's face, as much as I want it to be. I try to control my breathing as I run every insult through my head twice before I get up and leave the room.

Jessi better be okay with me walking out, because the alternative is someone ending up in the hospital. Everyone in that room knew exactly who would be in emergency care and who would be laughing. He doesn't stand a living chance.

I can't stay in the kitchen. Ethan could come in here, and I can only hold in my anger once a day with him. It's more like once a year if I'm thinking realistically.

"Will!" I hear Jessi say as soon as I walk into my living room. I ruined the whole evening for her. I knew I shouldn't have gone. I don't even remember why I decided to in the first place. Jessi would have been fine by herself and I could be in the kitchen making sure of it. Now I've just messed everything up.

She runs up in front of me so she's blocking my path to the couch. I really don't want to hear her lecture. Why do we have to talk right now? I need at least a day to cool down before she yells at me for fucking up her friendship with Leah.

"You're amazing," she says forcing me to look at her. I'm what? That wasn't what I was expecting. Her eyes are glistening and a smile tugs at the corners of her mouth.

"I just ruined it."

She shakes her head and places both hands on my shoulders.

"He did. You walked away. I can't believe you actually did that."

I feel like a five year old that was just told he could say the alphabet better than anyone else in his class. I feel like a thirteen year old who just became caption of his basketball team. I feel like a sixteen year old who just passed his driving test on the first try. I feel like I've just won the fucking Olympics or something. She looks so proud of me and I don't even care that it's growing my heart to twice its size. I would do everything I just did over again just to see this look on her face.

"It was nothing," I say but she shakes her head again.

"I saw you. It wasn't nothing and it really means a lot to me." It means even more to me that she would say that. She has no idea how much her opinion of me matters to me.

"No problem, Rosie," I say pinching her cheek a little. This is way too much serious talk for me in one night. It's exhausting.

"Let's get you home before I fall asleep standing up," I say while I grab my keys.

"You look tired," she says as we make our way to my car. "Maybe I should drive."

"Oh no. I'm perfectly awake. You just want to drive my Audi. I don't trust you that much Rosie."

I'm sure she would be fine driving it, but I enjoy seeing her stare at me from the corner of my eye too much.

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Grazie Mille. Ti Amo. 

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